Happiness is getting good results during check-ups. My biopsy came out clean! My blood count had been normal for over a week now, but I am immune compromised. I am still on immune suppressants and steroids to take care of any GVHD / rejection. The doctor has started reducing my medications because he says I am doing very well. When the doctor is happy with my condition, I am happy. I see the doctor twice a week for check-ups.
I have recovered from my zombie state. Now, I can do some chores around the house, cook my family's favorite foods, and go out shopping (mostly just for food). I still can't stay out too much in the sun or be exposed to crowded places and I am still on low bacteria diet plus some other restrictions, but I am not complaining. This beats staying in the hospital any day. It is so nice to go back to a somewhat normal life again! Even washing dishes felt like a privilege after being unable to do these seemingly mundane chores. Just goes to show what a little change in perspective can do.
Happiness is being home with my family. After spending 2 months away from them, I have a renewed appreciation for my husband and my children. My loving husband did a wonderful job being Superdad while I was gone. He managed to keep everything as close to normal for our kids as possible - not an easy feat. Feels great knowing that the man I married is someone I have grown to love even more over the years. As for my girls, they can't get enough hugs and kisses from mommy. No worries there. I have infinite supply. Katie's second name is Grace, and Ellie's is Joy. They are truly God's grace and joy to Rob and I.
Happiness is having my sister here with us. My sister, Verna, is in town to be my "designated caregiver". A designated caregiver is someone who helps the patient with day-to-day activities and to rush the patient to the hospital during emergencies. In my case, because I am doing so well, her role is to rush me to the emergency room any time should the need arise. I am serious. The hospital wanted to know who will be available for the job before sending me home. I do not expect to have to go through that, but it is better be prepared for the worst. In the meantime, I am enjoying the company of my sister. For those who have sisters, you know what a treat this is! I call her my "angel", sent by God to watch over me last year, and again this year. How blessed am I?
Happiness is being able to enjoy food again! I am singing "Food, Glorious Food!" (from Ice Age) in my mind. My taste buds were muted when I came out of the hospital. I was also under a more stringent diet restriction then. I still can't eat restaurant food, but I can have home cooked meals. My taste buds have come back to life, so I have been indulging myself with my favorite home cooked food. Yum!
Happiness is having all of you praying for me and my family. We would not have been able to fare so well all these months were it not for your prayers. God continues to shine His grace upon our family, and we are very thankful to be back in each other's arms again.
Thank you for very much for your prayers and may God continue to bless you and your family!
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Friday, September 3, 2010
9/3/2010 - Home Sweet Home
I came home last Thursday, as expected, but have been silent since then because I have been enjoying time with the family and also time with my nephew, Kelvin. He came all the way from Toronto to help us out. It was such a blessing to have Kelvin around. I was feeling fatigued when I came home, and Kelvin just spoiled me rotten. Now that he has gone home, it is back to reality for me. he! he!
After coming home, I spent most days in bed because I started having hives a few days later. The hives would flare up at night and keep me from having a good night's rest. Good thing I was in my own bed, and not in a hospital bed. That would just make me miserable! The doctor said that the hives is a form of GVHD (graft versus host disease), and that it is actually good that I had some, because it shows that the transplant was effective. Guess I should be thankful for it. Now that I have been given steroids, I was able to sleep well last night. No more walking around like a zombie during the day!
I have to go for check-ups twice a week. So far, my blood count has been good, and the doctor seems happy with my progress. I had a bone marrow biopsy yesterday. We'll know the results in a couple of weeks. Now, if the hives will die down even as the doctor reduces my medication, that would just be perfect. I still have until November 11 to be out of the critical stage. The first 100 days after transplant are critical because anything can go wrong. So, I am being extra careful. There are many restrictions - no restaurant food, no salads, no fruits with soft skin like berries, no leftovers over 14 hours, no exposure to dust or animals, no crowded places, etc. The good thing is that I can eat real food now, as long as it's home cooked. Thanks to Kelvin, Nora, Cristina and Bessie, our family remains well-fed even if I haven't started cooking yet. Hopefully, I get to sleep well at night from here on, so I can start acting like a human being again, not just some zombie walking around our house and falling asleep at all hours of the day. I feel more energized today, and I hope this is the turning point to get me back to having a regular schedule. It is pretty boring to be sleeping most of the day.
By the way, I picked up a few skills while at the hospital with lots of time to kill. In addition to learning to play the harp, I also learned how to knit! I never thought I would be so bored that I would take up knitting. Well, never say never. I was able to knit a scarf for Ellie, and I have a couple more to make for Katie and Kelvin. I am definitely getting more and more domesticated. Whodathunk?! :-)
That's all for now. Thank you all for your prayers and may God continue to bless you and your family.
After coming home, I spent most days in bed because I started having hives a few days later. The hives would flare up at night and keep me from having a good night's rest. Good thing I was in my own bed, and not in a hospital bed. That would just make me miserable! The doctor said that the hives is a form of GVHD (graft versus host disease), and that it is actually good that I had some, because it shows that the transplant was effective. Guess I should be thankful for it. Now that I have been given steroids, I was able to sleep well last night. No more walking around like a zombie during the day!
I have to go for check-ups twice a week. So far, my blood count has been good, and the doctor seems happy with my progress. I had a bone marrow biopsy yesterday. We'll know the results in a couple of weeks. Now, if the hives will die down even as the doctor reduces my medication, that would just be perfect. I still have until November 11 to be out of the critical stage. The first 100 days after transplant are critical because anything can go wrong. So, I am being extra careful. There are many restrictions - no restaurant food, no salads, no fruits with soft skin like berries, no leftovers over 14 hours, no exposure to dust or animals, no crowded places, etc. The good thing is that I can eat real food now, as long as it's home cooked. Thanks to Kelvin, Nora, Cristina and Bessie, our family remains well-fed even if I haven't started cooking yet. Hopefully, I get to sleep well at night from here on, so I can start acting like a human being again, not just some zombie walking around our house and falling asleep at all hours of the day. I feel more energized today, and I hope this is the turning point to get me back to having a regular schedule. It is pretty boring to be sleeping most of the day.
By the way, I picked up a few skills while at the hospital with lots of time to kill. In addition to learning to play the harp, I also learned how to knit! I never thought I would be so bored that I would take up knitting. Well, never say never. I was able to knit a scarf for Ellie, and I have a couple more to make for Katie and Kelvin. I am definitely getting more and more domesticated. Whodathunk?! :-)
That's all for now. Thank you all for your prayers and may God continue to bless you and your family.
Monday, August 23, 2010
8/23/2010 - Going Home Soon
Just when I think things can't get any better, God surprises me with more good news! First, the doctor said I may be able to go home this weekend. I was already ecstatic with the news. Then, last Friday, the doctor changed it to this Friday. Now, he just came in and said things are looking good and I may be able to go home this Thursday! My heart is overflowing with gratitude.
God has been healing me everyday, working the miracle of rebirth in my body. To me, the human body is still the most amazing "machine" ever built. I do not understand all the things that go on in there, but I know the Designer knows exactly what needs to happen.
I marvel at how He often defies human wisdom to show His power and sovereignty. As I mentioned before, most transplant patients spend 4-6 weeks in the hospital after transplant. In my case, I was warned that I may stay longer because I had an unrelated donor. If I were to go home on Thursday, that would only have been 3 weeks and 2 days! Amazing!
"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21
Thank you all for your prayers that made this experience quite amazing. May God continue to bless you and your family.
God has been healing me everyday, working the miracle of rebirth in my body. To me, the human body is still the most amazing "machine" ever built. I do not understand all the things that go on in there, but I know the Designer knows exactly what needs to happen.
I marvel at how He often defies human wisdom to show His power and sovereignty. As I mentioned before, most transplant patients spend 4-6 weeks in the hospital after transplant. In my case, I was warned that I may stay longer because I had an unrelated donor. If I were to go home on Thursday, that would only have been 3 weeks and 2 days! Amazing!
"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21
Thank you all for your prayers that made this experience quite amazing. May God continue to bless you and your family.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
8/17/2010 - Getting Better
Things have been looking great the last few days. My blood count has started to go up since 4 days ago. The normal range for white blood count is 4.0 to 11.0. After radiation and chemo, mine went down to 0.1 and stayed there for some time, as expected. Then, it went from 0.1 to 1.0 in the last 4 days! This is great!
And because my white count has reached 1.0, I am now allowed to leave my room. I am now a "cage-free" or "free range" chicken. ha! ha! I like getting out of the cage, I mean, room and walk around the hospital floor as part of my daily exercise. I always thought that free range chicken and cage free chicken must be happier than regular chicken. I just didn't feel happy paying extra money for happy chicken in the supermarket. Besides, they can't be so happy anymore, they're dead. :-|
The doctor said that if I keep up my progress, I have a chance of going home next weekend. That would be awesome! I don't want to keep my hopes up too high, but then I also want to have enough faith to believe that it will happen if that is what God wants. I know that I have often lacked enough faith for God to work His wonders in the past, so I am asking God to give me enough faith now so He can work His wonders during my healing.
I am in good spirits these days. I still have diarrhea, but it is getting better. I still suffer from hemorroids, but that is slowly getting better, too. I still can't have regular food, but the doctor has put me on a restricted diet. Yay! I get more than just water and sunlight now. I have evolved from a plant to a human! :-D
God is so great! I have been previously warned by the transplant coordinator that after transplant, patients typically stay 4-6 weeks in the hospital. But because my donor is unrelated, I may have a harder time during recovery, so I should expect to stay 6 weeks or more in the hospital. If I get to go home next weekend, I would have just stayed here only 4 weeks after transplant! I would really like that to happen, because then we will have another evidence of the greatness of God. More reason to sing His praises. We are so blessed to know this great, big, awesome, living and all-loving God!
I know that my experience these past weeks were only possible because of all the prayers that have been offered on my behalf before the throne of God. I know many of you have been relentless in interceding for me and my family, and even crying out to the Lord for us. I will forever be grateful to all of you. For without your prayers, my experience could have been unbearably painful for me and my family.
Thank you all again for your prayers and may God continue to bless you and your family!
And because my white count has reached 1.0, I am now allowed to leave my room. I am now a "cage-free" or "free range" chicken. ha! ha! I like getting out of the cage, I mean, room and walk around the hospital floor as part of my daily exercise. I always thought that free range chicken and cage free chicken must be happier than regular chicken. I just didn't feel happy paying extra money for happy chicken in the supermarket. Besides, they can't be so happy anymore, they're dead. :-|
The doctor said that if I keep up my progress, I have a chance of going home next weekend. That would be awesome! I don't want to keep my hopes up too high, but then I also want to have enough faith to believe that it will happen if that is what God wants. I know that I have often lacked enough faith for God to work His wonders in the past, so I am asking God to give me enough faith now so He can work His wonders during my healing.
I am in good spirits these days. I still have diarrhea, but it is getting better. I still suffer from hemorroids, but that is slowly getting better, too. I still can't have regular food, but the doctor has put me on a restricted diet. Yay! I get more than just water and sunlight now. I have evolved from a plant to a human! :-D
God is so great! I have been previously warned by the transplant coordinator that after transplant, patients typically stay 4-6 weeks in the hospital. But because my donor is unrelated, I may have a harder time during recovery, so I should expect to stay 6 weeks or more in the hospital. If I get to go home next weekend, I would have just stayed here only 4 weeks after transplant! I would really like that to happen, because then we will have another evidence of the greatness of God. More reason to sing His praises. We are so blessed to know this great, big, awesome, living and all-loving God!
I know that my experience these past weeks were only possible because of all the prayers that have been offered on my behalf before the throne of God. I know many of you have been relentless in interceding for me and my family, and even crying out to the Lord for us. I will forever be grateful to all of you. For without your prayers, my experience could have been unbearably painful for me and my family.
Thank you all again for your prayers and may God continue to bless you and your family!
Friday, August 13, 2010
8/13/2010 - Daily Miracles
I still feel out of sorts these days because of the diarrhea, hemorrhoids, bouts of nausea and gas. I told my nurse this morning how terrible I feel when all of the side effects strike at the same time. It felt like there's something wrong with my body, but I couldn't figure out what it is and what to do about it.
Then, she told me I am so lucky to feel the way I do. Huh? Apparently, most patients in my situation would have mouth sores, throwing up a lot, really bad diarrhea, and no energy to do anything. They are constantly in bed and feel terrible. Listening to her made me choke up. I realized then how blessed I am. Although the doctor kept telling me I am doing well, I was never quite sure whether he really meant it or whether he was just encouraging me. Now I know. Ahh! There, but for the grace of God go I. God is working miracles in my body everyday, and I did not fully realize it until now! I believe God is protecting and healing me everyday because He loves us and is granting our prayer requests. What a privilege to come to our God with our requests and know that our God is real, loving and almighty!
Sometimes, when I am feeling blah, I just start counting my blessings and realize that I have so much to be thankful for. I also realize that these temporary inconveniences will soon pass away. I think the sufferings we have in our lifetime never exceeds the joy of knowing the Lord and living under His care.
We are so blessed to be the children of the living God. To live under His care is to know that whatever happens to us, He is in control and He always has a higher purpose for our suffering. All I can say is Thy will be done!
Thank you so much for persevering with us through your prayers. May God continue to bless you and your family!
Then, she told me I am so lucky to feel the way I do. Huh? Apparently, most patients in my situation would have mouth sores, throwing up a lot, really bad diarrhea, and no energy to do anything. They are constantly in bed and feel terrible. Listening to her made me choke up. I realized then how blessed I am. Although the doctor kept telling me I am doing well, I was never quite sure whether he really meant it or whether he was just encouraging me. Now I know. Ahh! There, but for the grace of God go I. God is working miracles in my body everyday, and I did not fully realize it until now! I believe God is protecting and healing me everyday because He loves us and is granting our prayer requests. What a privilege to come to our God with our requests and know that our God is real, loving and almighty!
Sometimes, when I am feeling blah, I just start counting my blessings and realize that I have so much to be thankful for. I also realize that these temporary inconveniences will soon pass away. I think the sufferings we have in our lifetime never exceeds the joy of knowing the Lord and living under His care.
We are so blessed to be the children of the living God. To live under His care is to know that whatever happens to us, He is in control and He always has a higher purpose for our suffering. All I can say is Thy will be done!
Thank you so much for persevering with us through your prayers. May God continue to bless you and your family!
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
8/11/2010 - Feeling Better
I finally snapped out of my blahs, with a lot of help from your prayers, phone calls from old friends, visits from new ones, and some good news from the doctor.
It started a this weekend when I got a call from Weng, my college friend who now lives in Australia. It was such a nice surprise! Later that day, I also got a call from my college best friend, Jac, from Manila. She just found out about what I was going through from a chance meeting with my sister. It was so good to hear from her, and to be encouraged by her. Then, my college friend, Gina, called in the evening. Also a nice surprise. The only person who didn't call from our college group was Cynch, but then we've been writing each other quite a bit. I love my friends and I always thought that friendships are some of life's best gifts. That was a very special day for me.
I got more calls, texts and emails from family and friends that further improved my mood. Today, I got a visit from the music therapist. She is one of the few people in life that I've just met but felt like we've known each other a lifetime ago. We always had fun talking about anything and everything. I also had a nice visit from the social worker, a fellow foodie, so you can guess what we talked about.
The doctor gave me some good news. He said that my triglicerides seem to be going down so I do not need a plasma exchange. Yay! He also said that my cells may start recovering this weekend, and that if things continue going well, I may even be able to go home by the end of the month! Wow! That's 2 weeks sooner that I had expected. I hope there will only be minimal rejection and my blood count will go up quickly.
"Food! Glorious Food!" is a line from a Ice Age that keeps playing in my mind. I miss eating real food. The other day, when I was watching TV, I noticed that I was paying more attention to the food commercials than the show itself. (drool!) Even commercials for food I would not even think of eating (unhealthy fast food) looked so delicious. I tell myself, just a few more days... For now, my diet still consists of nutrients from a bag, and pure, clear water. Yum! :-\
Thank you so much for your prayers and may God bless you and your family!
It started a this weekend when I got a call from Weng, my college friend who now lives in Australia. It was such a nice surprise! Later that day, I also got a call from my college best friend, Jac, from Manila. She just found out about what I was going through from a chance meeting with my sister. It was so good to hear from her, and to be encouraged by her. Then, my college friend, Gina, called in the evening. Also a nice surprise. The only person who didn't call from our college group was Cynch, but then we've been writing each other quite a bit. I love my friends and I always thought that friendships are some of life's best gifts. That was a very special day for me.
I got more calls, texts and emails from family and friends that further improved my mood. Today, I got a visit from the music therapist. She is one of the few people in life that I've just met but felt like we've known each other a lifetime ago. We always had fun talking about anything and everything. I also had a nice visit from the social worker, a fellow foodie, so you can guess what we talked about.
The doctor gave me some good news. He said that my triglicerides seem to be going down so I do not need a plasma exchange. Yay! He also said that my cells may start recovering this weekend, and that if things continue going well, I may even be able to go home by the end of the month! Wow! That's 2 weeks sooner that I had expected. I hope there will only be minimal rejection and my blood count will go up quickly.
"Food! Glorious Food!" is a line from a Ice Age that keeps playing in my mind. I miss eating real food. The other day, when I was watching TV, I noticed that I was paying more attention to the food commercials than the show itself. (drool!) Even commercials for food I would not even think of eating (unhealthy fast food) looked so delicious. I tell myself, just a few more days... For now, my diet still consists of nutrients from a bag, and pure, clear water. Yum! :-\
Thank you so much for your prayers and may God bless you and your family!
Monday, August 9, 2010
8/9/2010 - Feeling Blah
The last few days were a bit more challenging. I am slowly experiencing the side effects of radiation, chemo, and other medications. Radiation and chemotherapy causes nausea, diarrhea, loss of hair, dry skin, sore arms and legs from time to time. Because I have hemmorhoids from childbirth, it just takes my experience of diarrhea tortuous!
One medication made my glucose go way up, so they had to give me another pill to bring it down. Another med also sent my triglicerides way up. They could not bring it down fast enough with pills, so they now want me to have a plasma exchange. That means using this big machine to take out my plasma with the triglicerides and replace it with good plasma containing albumin. Unfortunately, I have such thin veins that they could not get the needle into my vein. The doctor says they'll give me another pill, but if it doesn't work, they will have to put a catheter to my side for the plasma exchange. Whoopee, more needles! Not!
What can I do? I just want to get all these over and done with. I have asked the nurse if there is any medication that I can take so I can just go to sleep until everything is over. Just wishful thinking. How about time travel? That will be a good use of the technology. Or maybe parking my body in the hospital while they do the repairs, and my spirit can go on a nice vacation. :-)
Well, as bad as things were, I had some wonderful surprises this weekend. I was able to spend some time on the phone with some of my dearest and oldest friends. It was such a surprise, because they were calling from Australia and Manila - not something I would expect everyday due to the high cost of long distance calls. Just the sound of their voices was enough to cheer me up. I guess God knew that I needed some cheering up, and nudged them to give me a call.
Another piece of good news is that City of Hope was ranked #1 in transplant success rate in the US. They measure the success rate by the survival rate. Apparently, even if most of their patients have medium to high risk, the result is still more successful than in other institutions with less risky transplants. I am so glad I am in the capable hands of the doctors and other caregivers here. Can I sign up to be their poster child for the longest survival rate? :-)
Today, I finally force myself out of bed just to get my body moving. I try to do a little exercise, but I'm so lazy! Nothing seems interesting to me anymore - not reading, exercising, computer games, or even playing on the harp. Just feeling blah! According to the nurse, everybody eventually feels blah.
I think I know what is wrong. I think I am physically and spiritually sick. I know in my mind that I should be praying more and reading the bible more, but somehow I manage to distract myself from doing so. Please pray that I will be given the spiritual strength to resist the temptations,
According to the doctor, the symptoms will last for another week. Then, as my body starts getting stronger, that is when we will see if there is any rejection. I sincerely hope that there will not be any major rejection.
Please continue to pray for our family, that we will remain positive and happy throughout this challenge, and that we will be given extra strength, courage and faith. Please also pray that I will be better able to tolerate the side effects, and that the doctors and nurses will have the wisdom to do the right thing, and that I will be on my way to a speedy recovery.
Thank you so much for your prayers, and may God continue to bless you and your family.
One medication made my glucose go way up, so they had to give me another pill to bring it down. Another med also sent my triglicerides way up. They could not bring it down fast enough with pills, so they now want me to have a plasma exchange. That means using this big machine to take out my plasma with the triglicerides and replace it with good plasma containing albumin. Unfortunately, I have such thin veins that they could not get the needle into my vein. The doctor says they'll give me another pill, but if it doesn't work, they will have to put a catheter to my side for the plasma exchange. Whoopee, more needles! Not!
What can I do? I just want to get all these over and done with. I have asked the nurse if there is any medication that I can take so I can just go to sleep until everything is over. Just wishful thinking. How about time travel? That will be a good use of the technology. Or maybe parking my body in the hospital while they do the repairs, and my spirit can go on a nice vacation. :-)
Well, as bad as things were, I had some wonderful surprises this weekend. I was able to spend some time on the phone with some of my dearest and oldest friends. It was such a surprise, because they were calling from Australia and Manila - not something I would expect everyday due to the high cost of long distance calls. Just the sound of their voices was enough to cheer me up. I guess God knew that I needed some cheering up, and nudged them to give me a call.
Another piece of good news is that City of Hope was ranked #1 in transplant success rate in the US. They measure the success rate by the survival rate. Apparently, even if most of their patients have medium to high risk, the result is still more successful than in other institutions with less risky transplants. I am so glad I am in the capable hands of the doctors and other caregivers here. Can I sign up to be their poster child for the longest survival rate? :-)
Today, I finally force myself out of bed just to get my body moving. I try to do a little exercise, but I'm so lazy! Nothing seems interesting to me anymore - not reading, exercising, computer games, or even playing on the harp. Just feeling blah! According to the nurse, everybody eventually feels blah.
I think I know what is wrong. I think I am physically and spiritually sick. I know in my mind that I should be praying more and reading the bible more, but somehow I manage to distract myself from doing so. Please pray that I will be given the spiritual strength to resist the temptations,
According to the doctor, the symptoms will last for another week. Then, as my body starts getting stronger, that is when we will see if there is any rejection. I sincerely hope that there will not be any major rejection.
Please continue to pray for our family, that we will remain positive and happy throughout this challenge, and that we will be given extra strength, courage and faith. Please also pray that I will be better able to tolerate the side effects, and that the doctors and nurses will have the wisdom to do the right thing, and that I will be on my way to a speedy recovery.
Thank you so much for your prayers, and may God continue to bless you and your family.
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