Seven months is a long time to spend in Neutropenia. Even with all the adventure and interesting surprises, I am ready to say farewell. Where is this? It is a beautiful place overlooking the Baltic Sea, just off the coast of Lithuania, Estonia and Latvia. This is where people walk around in masks and where Count Dracula probably got his hankering for blood. It is also the capital of Leukemia. :-)
Seriously, neutropenia is a medical condition in which the bone marrow is not able to produce enough neutrophils (a kind of white blood cell) to protect the body from infections. This is a common condition among leukemia patients and people undergoing chemotherapy. I will surely not miss being neutropenic. I no longer need to be super-paranoid about catching an infection. I have scurried around in supermarkets just to avoid people who sneezed or coughed, replaced hugs and kisses with air kisses when greeting friends, stopped eating some of my favorite foods, and even hid my true identity by wearing a mask all the time! I can now reveal my true identity. The mask can now come off. I can also stop being Wonderwoman - you know, wondering how much I can do each day before I get really tired. :-)
The last three blood tests have been progressively better. It shows that my body is definitely on the road to recovery. The neutrophil count and platelets are still low, but now within normal range. The white blood count and hemoglobin are close to being normal. This means I will not need platelet or blood transfusions anymore!
The doctor has reduced my check-ups from twice a week to once a week. She expects me to get back to normal in the coming weeks. I will have a bone marrow biopsy on April 23. If it comes out clean, that will be the final and official marker that I am truly in remission!
I expect the biopsy to come out clean, and that I will be allowed to go back to work in May. This means I barely have a month left to finish everything on my to-do list: taking care of medical billing errors (grrr!), following-up on insurance payments (ayayay!), preparing for our celebration in San Diego (yippee!), filing our taxes (ugh!), learning more about living a healthier lifestyle (yes!) and other minor things in keeping house that sometimes drive us up the wall.
The doctors still recommend that I have a bone marrow transplant, but they also understand why I would choose not to do it. After much reflection and prayer about it, Robert and I have decided that having a bone marrow transplant is not for me. I do not have peace about having a BMT. It does not seem like a worthy trade-off, especially if I will not have a relapse. As one of my friends who is a doctor said, having a transplant is like replacing one sickness for another. If I will not have a relapse in the future, wouldn't a BMT just give me a sickness where none existed?
We have prayed that if I truly need a BMT, that a perfect match be found, especially from one of my siblings. No perfect match has been found so far. We have also prayed for the Lord to take away my leukemia cells now and forever. On more than one occasion when I was praying, I have this peace that He has granted my request. Now, what I need is the faith to believe and proceed accordingly. It may not be what the doctor recommended, but I believe this is another one of those instances where faith will overcome the odds. There have been other times in my life when God has asked me to take the path with the odds stacked against me. They did not sound logical to me at the time, but disobedience was not an option. Each time, God has not let me down, but has shown me how great and faithful He is. I have been blessed to witness many of His miracles in the past and also through this journey. Our God is greater than any sickness or statistics! I have not told the BMT doctor about our final decision yet, but it should not come as a surprise to her.
My hair is growing back! I no longer need to cover my head when I go out. Perfect timing, since the weather in Southern CA is starting to warm up. It still looks a little funny, but we are all getting used to it. I used to look like a troll after a shower. My hair would all stand up, and I would have to apply some oil for it to come down. Remember how babies' hair would stand up after giving them a bath? Cute, no? Yes, them, not me. :-( There was also a time when I would look at the mirror and be reminded of the Supreme Leader of North Korea, Kim Jung Il. Yes, his hair was ugly, and so was mine. Hats to the rescue! My hair is slightly curly now. It naturally flips out, so I look kinda sassy with my short hair. I still make it a point to wear big earrings so nobody will mistake me for a butch.
Well, that is all the update for now. Sorry for not updating my blog more often. I am still fighting an uphill battle with my to-do list, and I do get lazy sometimes. Then, when the kids come home, it is all about them - snacks, homework, dinner prep, dinner, bathtime, then bedtime. Thank God I now have the energy for all that. My life is getting back to normal. Yay!
Thank you all very much for all your prayers and may God bless you and your family!
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