6/3/2010 - Au Revoir / Lessons Learned

Sorry for the long silence. I have gone back to work since last week, and have been mentally exhausted most days to write anything sensible.

One lesson I learned recently is that I need to do less. I realize now that it will take several months for my body to go back to its pre-leukemia state. When my body and brain shouts "Enough!" after only 4-5 hours of work, this is normal - for now. So, taking the cue from my body and brain, I have cut back my expectations and my work hours. But this is so difficult! I am so used to pushing myself that pulling back is totally unnatural for me. It feels like awakening an unused muscle in my brain, if there is such a thing. Oh well, this is good training for me in reducing stress.

This is my final blog entry. By the grace of God and through your prayers and support, we have come to the end of this journey with my healing and many blessings! It has truly been a wonderful adventure of the soul. There is no other way to experience certain truths except through trials - the PEACE that surpasses understanding, the JOY of being in God's presence in the midst of adversity, the amazing GRACE that is sufficient for all our trials, the power of PRAYER, the FAITH that heals the sick, and the LOVE of family and friends tested by time and trials. Looking back, I still think that I got more out of this trial than what it took out of me.

This experience was no walk in the park though. And since I believe in squeezing all I can learn out of a difficult situation, I would like to share some of the lessons I learned along the way. This way, I get to maximize the return on my painful "tuition fee". Here they are:

1) Priorities. Nothing clarifies our priorities better than seeing the end of one's life. As a Christian who was about to meet her Maker, the only thing I could think of was, "What will God say about me?" Everything that seemed important in life faded into the shadow of His majesty. At that point, I wished that I had done more for the Lord. And if I was given a chance to live longer, I knew that I want to spend more time with my family and love them more than I do. Be clear on one's priorities in life and live accordingly.

2) Prayer. Make the most of the amazing power of prayer. In addition to praying for ourselves, praying for others can change another person's circumstances. I am living proof of the power of intercessory prayers. Unleash the power of prayer for ourselves and others.

3) Blessings. I did not know that having Leukemia was a means to channel many blessings to me and my family. Many blessings come in ugly packages.

4) Planning for the future. I realized the I have spent too much time planning for retirement and too little time thinking about post-retirement. Ironically, I may not even live long enough to enjoy the retirement I was planning for, but I will definitely get into post-retirement mode sooner or later.

5) Investments. In terms of investing for the future, I realized that my best investments all these years have been whatever was given to the church or people in need. Their value never goes down and they more than double their value immediately. The value multiplies in terms of blessing the recipient and the giver, and they are credited to our bank account in heaven. Nothing can beat that kind of return.

6) Good health. In the fast food lifestyle that many of us have been accustomed to, I realized that I have often exchanged good health for convenience. In the long run, we may end up giving back all the time we saved by lying in some hospital bed somewhere or worse, with a shortened lifespan. I know better now.

7) Good health and cancer. Even though a healthy lifestyle does not guarantee a cancer-free life, it does make one better equipped to deal with the treatment(s). My doctors were relieved to know that I was in good health before I was diagnosed with Leukemia. It must have made their job less difficult.

8) Health Insurance. For those of us living in the US, having a good health insurance is so important. With the high cost of health care, we never know what could happen to our health that may wipe out our savings. So, be prepared.

9) Family. Our family is a gift from God. No matter what type of family one has, our family has helped shape us into who we are. They have been there for us through good times and bad. Once again, I am reminded of how blessed I am with my family. Remember to thank God for our family.

10) Friendship. Friendship is also a gift from God. We never truly realize our friends' value until we're "hit by a truck". I was amazed at how many of my friends have turned out to be such gems. My spirits have been lifted so much by the outpouring of love and support. Even friends I have not been in touch with in ages suddenly showed up with words of encouragement, prayers, and food (they know me well. ha! ha!). I really felt like I won the lottery. Remember to thank God for our friends.

11) Kindness. I realized that even small gestures of kindness mean a lot to people who are going through tough times.

12) Faith. This experience has deepened my faith in our loving God. Once again, I am reminded that even if His ways do not make sense to me, He loves me more than I can understand and He is in control. Trusting that He is doing whatever is best for me according to His purpose, and that all things will work out for good has helped me rest in His care. Faith has made a big difference in my battle with cancer - no tears of sadness but only tears of joy. To His glory!

My hope is that you get to experience the love of God through the saving grace in Jesus, the joy of being in God's presence, and the peace that comes from casting our cares upon Him and trusting that He will take care of us.

My family and I would like to extend our deepest gratitude to all of you who have come alongside us during these challenging months. Your prayers have been answered. Your food have been gratefully consumed (yum!). Your phone calls and emails have lifted my spirits. Your visits have brightened up my days. Your jokes, funny books and dvds were the best medicine. Your inspirational cds and books have comforted and inspired me. Your advice were appreciated. Your practical books saved me thousands of dollars. But most of all, your love and friendship will always be treasured in our hearts. I hope to see you all one day and thank you personally for contributing to my healing, and for making this adventure as spiritually enjoyable as it had been. May God continue to bless you and your family!

Let me close with one of my favorite hymns. (You're so lucky you cannot hear me sing this. :-)

My Tribute / To God be the Glory

How can I say thanks for the things You have done for me?
Things so undeserved, yet You give to prove your love for me.
The voices of a million angels, could not express my gratitude.
All that I am, or ever hope to be, I owe it all to Thee.

To God be the glory. To God be the glory.
To God be the glory for the things He has done.

With His blood, He has saved me.
By His power, He has raised me.
To God be the glory for the things He has done.

Just let me live my life, and let it be pleasing, Lord, to Thee.
And should I gain any praise, let it go to Calvary.

With His blood, He has saved me.
By His power, He has raised me.
To God be the glory for the things He has done.

5/18/2010 - Hallelujah!

Hallelujah! Our God is an awesome God! I got the biopsy results last Wednesday - it was clean! I expected to have only good news, but it was still a relief to hear the official word from the doctor. It is finally over.

The doctor gave me a work release order, meaning I am allowed to go back to work. From here on, I will just have to see my doctor every month for the first 6 months, then it will taper off to once every 6 months, and then just an annual check-up.

When I was walking back to my car, I had to fight back tears of joy, relief and gratitude. The last nine months have been challenging, but full of grace and mercy from our God. This was undoubtedly the result of the power of prayer - lots of prayer! Prayers from my loving family, relatives, friends, people I met at hospitals, and people I don't know personally in different churches, prayer groups and small groups.

This is also a testimony of how great it is to be in the family of God. The family spans nations, cultures and denominations, all brought together through the precious blood of our Lord Jesus Christ. I can just imagine what it will be like when we all get to heaven - people of all nations worshiping the one true God. The best party ever!

God answers prayers. Your prayers have made a big difference in how my family and I experienced the long road to recovery. These are just some of the many answered prayers we have witnessed:

- My cancer was in remission only after one round of chemo. Many people have to wait several months and even longer to get into remission.

- I did not undergo many of the most common side effects from chemotherapy: nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite and various infections. Even my mouth sore was very mild compare to what other people had to go through.

- During the flu season, when many people were catching the cold, flu and H1N1 virus, our family was spared from all of it except for Ellie who had a mild case of cold that lasted only a few days.

- There were many days when I felt too weak to prepare anything for dinner, and someone would either call to bring us dinner or just show up at our front door with food. The timing was just perfect. Many thanks to Cristina, Bessie, Alvina, Nora, Marlene, Jean/Williamson and Sandy.

- The catheter on my chest was inserted without any problems, and it remained free from infection throughout the nine months! This is quite unusual.

- Our family had remained happy and positive throughout these nine months. Robert was solid as a rock. The children also remained happy even if they understood the seriousness of my illness. There were some disappointments along the way, but we believe all things will work out for the best. Even during challenging times, we were always grateful for the many blessings we experienced everyday.

I have been busy getting ready to go back to work - coordinating with the head office and my assistant, attending continuing education classes to re-activate my license, etc. I just received a call from the head office to let me know that my office has been re-registered and I can go back to work tomorrow. Yikes! I don't think I am quite ready to go back to work yet. Well, at least, my hair is now presentable to clients - vanity!

I know what many of you are thinking. Yes, I will try to take it easy. Although I am officially in remission, I am still recovering from the onslaught of toxic chemicals in my body. Chemotherapy is really brutal. I can still feel the effects every now and then. I can't wait to get back to being in good health. Please continue to pray for my family as we transition to our new reality, that I will be restored to good health, and for me not to strain myself - it is my personal weakness/bad habit.

That's it for now. I will share the lessons I learned in a few days. It is my hope others will benefit from my experience. Thank you once again for your prayers and may God bless you all.