12/30/2009 - Three Wise Women

The irony of the Christmas season for Christians is that this is the time of year when we celebrate the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ. I think spending more time in prayer and meditation would be a nice way to celebrate it. However, this is also the time of year when we are busiest. Too many things distract us from spending time with the birthday celebrant - year-end deadlines and commitments at work, buying presents, sending cards, preparing food, attending holiday parties and programs, entertaining kids during their winter break, etc. It is like being at a birthday party where everybody is having fun but few bother to spend time with the celebrant.

Once again, I felt guilty that I did not spend as much time as I know I should (and could) with my Savior. Not that I am ultra-busy, but the distractions of the mind were just awful. Every year, I say that I hope to do better next year. I don't know if I did better than last year, but it was less than satisfactory. So, once again, I hope to do better next year.

For all my unfaithfulness, I rightfully deserve the Lord's cold shoulder at best. And I won't blame Him one bit if I get punished for my irreverent behavior. However, instead of getting what I deserve, blessings continued to come my way! He sent three wise women to remind me how much He loves me despite my shortcomings, and that His love is unwavering. Here's my story:

1) One of the dishes that I like a lot is Chinese stuffed chicken. Chicken stuffed with glutinous rice, chestnuts, mushrooms, sausage, etc. It is one of those food that tastes really good and also makes me feel good because I associate it with happy occasions with my family in Manila. I have given up looking for a restaurant that serves it here in LA years ago. A few days before Christmas, Cristina came to our house with a stuffed chicken. It was made by her friend who just started a food business. One look and I knew it was the stuffed chicken that I have been looking for. What a wonderful surprise from one wise woman!

2) Every year, I get invited to my cousin Henry's New Year's party where they traditionally serve fresh Chinese lumpia (do-it-yourself spring rolls). It is labor intensive to prepare the fillings, so I only get to have it once a year when they invite us there. I got a bonus this year, because Bessie brought me some a few months ago. Anyway, Henry's family was going to celebrate Christmas and new year in Texas this year, so I was a bit sad that I won't get another chance to have the dish. A few days later, Nora called and asked if I would like her to bring me some lumpia because she's making some for her friend anyway. Another wonderful surprise from another wise woman!

3) It has been a while since our family had cheese rolls from Porto's. It is a Cuban bakery in Glendale that makes those delicious cheese rolls that make my my family smile ear to ear. I was just contemplating driving the distance to get some during the holidays when Marlene came to visit with boxes of food from Porto's. Another wonderful surprise from another wise woman!

Such nice coincidences, aren't they? I prefer to think that they were all divinely inspired by the Lord. God knows that I am a foodie, so He caught my attention with food. I was reminded that He continues to love me even if I have not been faithful. Boy, am I glad that our God is "slow to anger and quick to forgive". I am sure He communicates to each one of us according to what will best catch our attention. I hope you have sensed His love during this Christmas season. Unlike other birthday celebrations, Christmas is one where the celebrant gives the best and biggest present of all. And He continues to give throughout the year, whether we notice it or not, and whether we thank Him for the gifts or not.

My family and I would like to wish you all a blessed Christmas and joy, peace, love and good health in the coming year!

Thank you once again for your continued prayers and may God bless you all!

12/25/2009 - Christmas Blessings

The last 3 blood tests and visits to the doctor were all good. My ANCs went up to 1.0 on Tuesday, then 1.1 yesterday so I am no longer neutropenic. This is a wonderful Christmas gift from God. Thank you for your prayers. I am tentatively scheduled to have the next round of chemo on 1/7/2010. Please pray that my body will recover well and be be able to handle the next round of chemo very well. God has blessed me with an uneventful third round of chemo. Please also pray that my next round of chemo will be equally uneventful or better. Thank you all for your prayers.

I would like to wish you and your family a blessed and joyful Christmas!

12/18/2009 - 'Tis the Season to be Busy

It has been a while since I updated my blog. Sorry for the long silence. It might have caused some of you unnecessary concern. I am still feeling fine with no side effects from the last round of chemo. Thank you for all your prayers. Since the last update, my blood count continued to go down as expected until last Friday when my blood count started moving up. I spent Tuesdays and Fridays at the hospital getting blood tests, seeing the doctor, then getting platelet or blood transfusion. By the time I get done at the hospital, I just had enough time to pick up the kids and the rest of the day went very quickly - snacks, homework, dinner, mail, insurance stuff, etc. My to-do list seems to get longer everyday, and the pace has picked up because Christmas is here! 'Tis the season to be busy - ayayayayay-yayay-yay-yay! :-)

Christmas is a little different this year. We cannot have a real Christmas tree or wreath inside the house because I'm neutropenic. So, we had to settle for a fake tree and no wreath. We miss the pine scent, but it is a minor sacrifice for my health. The kids had fun trimming the tree. We had it up since the day before Thanksgiving so my sister can see all the trimmings she had given us over the years up on the tree. We normally have Christmas lights and decorations outside the house, but our cleaning people are too busy this year to put them up for us, so so all we have is just a Christmas lantern (parol) that we brought back from Manila months ago. Rob and I are could not put up the lights and decorations ourselves, because we're wimps when it comes to these things. The kids are not happy about it, but they'll get over it. Christmas shopping consists of surfing for hours online. It is very tempting to take advantage of Christmas sales in some of the stores, but I'd rather stay away from crowds. We will only be attending only one Christmas party this year for the same reason. We will join Robert's cousins on Christmas eve - not too many people there.

I had another blood test today. This is the first time since my last chemo that I did not need to get a platelet or blood transfusion. Hallelujah! The doctor said that if my blood count continues to go up next Tuesday, she will want me to schedule the next round of chemo the week after. No way, Jose! I told the doctor I do not want to have my next round of chemo until after the holidays. She reluctantly agreed. This means I may be going in again for the next round of chemo in early January. In the meantime, I am still neutropenic, but at least my ANC has gone up to 0.6. Please pray that my ANC will be above 1.0 by next Tuesday so I can attend Christmas services and party without fear of getting an infection.

I got a call from the BMT donor center. They have found potential matches for me in the national registry. They will contact 7 people at a time to see if they are interested and to get them tested. It takes about a month to find out whether there is a match in each batch. If none is a match, they will move on to the next 7 people. They may find a match right away or it could take years before they find a one. Many people have offered to be a potential donor. I truly appreciate the offer, but right now, I am not even sure if I want to have a BMT. The more I read about it, the more I wonder if it is worth the risk. In my case, there is a 15% chance of death from BMT due to graft-versus-host disease (GVHD). Most people who survive the transplant have to live with some kind of side effect for the rest of their lives. Is it worth the 10% decrease in potential relapse in my case? I don't know.

To BMT or not to BMT? That is the question. In my quest to find the answer, I have been doing some research on my nemesis, the FLT3 cancer cell. This is the cancer cell that was found during my first biopsy. There are at least 6 FLT3 inhibitor drugs that are being tested right now, but none has been proven to be effective in fighting it off. One of them was actually abandoned because the negative impact on the body was not worth the potential benefit. Will there be a drug that will be available to fight off FLT3 if and when I need it? I don't know.

My cousin also told me about a natural supplement called Umi No Shizuku Fucoidan that was developed in Japan. It seems to be effective in making cancer cells commit suicide. I have studied the literature from the company. They do have a compelling case based on testing the supplement on mice and the positive results they have received from people who have used it for different forms of cancer, including leukemia. My BMT doctor has agreed to look into it. Will this supplement negate the need for me to go through BMT? I don't know.

Please continue to pray for God's guidance regarding BMT. I prefer to not have to go through it, but if it is God's will to have me go through it, please pray that a perfect match will be found at the right time. On the other hand, if I do not have to go through a BMT, please pray that an alternate solution will be available if necessary, and that we will be led to a doctor who will advise me against having a BMT.

My mother-in-law is here to help us out for the next 3 months. It is nice to have her around. She has only been here a few days, but she has already been a big help around the house. It was also nice to see the doting grandmother bond with the kids. She came just in time to see them perform during their school's Christmas program. Both Katie and Ellie did a lot of singing, and Katie had a dance number on top of that. It was a well orchestrated, funny yet meaningful program. Maybe I am just more emotional these days, but I choked up a few times during the program. The theme was about what we can give Jesus for his birthday - He appreciates all our gifts, but He desires our hearts more than anything else.

That is all for today. Please continue to pray for my complete healing, that the right decision will be made regarding BMT, that my family will be protected from the flu and other viruses and continue to stay happy and positive during this journey. Also please pray that we will all enjoy the Christmas season, not get caught up with the busyness of the season and miss the real meaning of Christmas.

Thank you all for your continued prayers and may God bless you and your family.

12/6/2009 - Bone Marrow Transplant

"For you formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb.
I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are your works, and my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth;
Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;
And in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me,
When as yet there was not one of them." -- Psalm 139: 13-16

These verses take on new meaning as I go through this journey. Prior to getting sick, I had very little understanding of the human body. Biology was one of my worst subjects in high school. Having to memorize the classification of plants and animals just squeezed all the fun out of learning about them. The most fun I had was when a classmate pulled a prank on a fellow classmate when we were dissecting a frog. I don't remember what I learned about frogs anymore, but I sure remember the prank. ha! ha!

In recent years, the desire to grow old gracefully and stay healthy increased my interest in learning about the body. Nowadays, I am learning a lot more about it - what leukemia is all about, the different types of blood cells, how to take care of myself while going through chemotherapy, what bone marrow transplant is all about, etc. I find the human body as a living machine quite amazing. My engineering background makes me appreciate man-made structures and machines that showcase design and engineering feats, so I watch Modern Marvels on TV sometimes. But no matter how grand, beautiful or complex the structures or machines get, they pale in comparison to the complexity and wonder that is the human body.

As you know, the doctor has recommended that I have a bone marrow transplant. This is the same thing as a stem cell transplant. Years ago, stem cells have to be suctioned out of the donor's bone marrow, hence the term "bone marrow transplant". These days, the procedure is simpler and a lot less painful. The donor is given medication to kick stem cells to the bloodstream. Blood is taken from the donor (think reverse blood transfusion), stem cells are harvested by a machine, and the rest of the blood is returned to the donor. I love technology!

The doctors want me to have a BMT because of the FLT3 cell that showed up in my first biopsy. FLT3 cells are known to stage a comeback years after the patient has been in remission. If FLT3 didn't show up, chemo treatments would have been enough for me. But because it did, there is a 60% chance that there will be a relapse if I don't go through a BMT, and a 50% chance if I go through BMT.

All my siblings were tested to see if any of them is my cell match. There is a greater chance that one of them will be my match, and there is also much less risk of getting graft-to-host rejection disease. The disease is the greatest risk in having a bone marrow transplant. Each of my siblings sent in their blood or saliva samples. Doctors use 10 main categories and many subcategories to determine if any of their cells matched mine. None did.

When I was being "woven in my mothers' womb" (weaving my DNA?), I got a certain percentage of my cells from each of my parents. The doctor said each of my siblings has a 25% chance of having the same percentage/formula, but none of them did. Who determines our cell composition? "For you formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb." "My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth".

Since there is no match among my siblings, the search is on to find a match from the national registry. The national registry contains the list of people in America who have agreed to be a bone marrow/stem cell donor. According to my BMT doctor, an initial scan showed many potential matches. The organization managing the registry will contact the potential donors to see if they are still interested. If they are, they will be interviewed and tested to see if they are still suitable donors, and if they are a match with my cells. How can I be a match to someone who is not even related to me? The doctor calls it "genetic pooling" - some "random" pooling of cells over many generations. What are the chances? I don't know, but I know Who knows.

"I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made". I know that my life is in God's hands, and only He knows whether I need a BMT for my healing or for shaping me more into the person He wants me to be. God knew I was going to have Leukemia even before I was born. He also knows who is/are my cell match. He also knows if there will be a drug or treatment that will make BMT unnecessary. He knows how this journey will end. "Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; and in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them." What does He not know, and what can He not do? We can only follow God's leading in this journey.

I marvel at how God has been answering our prayers. I did not suffer from any side effects from the recent round of chemo. He has also protected our family from the flu virus even as people we know were catching it. And though I still feel tired more easily, I am strong enough to do most of the work my sister used to do while she was here. It helped that she left stuff in the refrigerator and freezer for me to heat up. My friend, Nora, also helped by preparing food that I an easily cook or heat up for the family. And my mother-in-law will be coming over to help us out starting the 16th of the month. We are all looking forward to seeing her. As usual, God provides everything we need in this journey.

Please continue to pray that I won't suffer from any side effects, for my complete healing, for my family to be protected from all forms of viruses and to keep our focus on God, for Rob and I to know clearly what God wants us to do regarding BMT, and for the doctors to have the wisdom regarding my treatment and care.

Thank you once again for your prayers and may God bless you and your family!

12/2/2009 - Numbers Going Down

It has been a few days since I was discharged from the hospital. Thanks to your prayers, I did not experience any major side effects. There were moments of nausea, but none so bad that I had thrown up or needed to take medication. I was prescribed medication to prevent sore eyes, anti-viral medication to prevent chicken pox, anti-fungal medication to prevent yeast or other fungal infection, and antibiotics to prevent bacterial infection. The fight is far from over. Over the next several days, my body will continue to get weaker until it hits the bottom (nadir is the medical term for it). It takes a couple of weeks to get to that point. That is how long it takes the body to get rid of the toxicity from chemotherapy. After it hits bottom, the body should be able to get stronger, including having better blood counts and getting itself out of neutropenia.

I get a blood test twice a week with potential blood and platelet transfusion as needed, and a consultation with the doctor once a week. Yesterday was my first blood test. As expected, my blood count went down. What I didn't expect was how low it could go. My white blood count was 0.6. The normal range is 4-11. The platelet also went down, so I got a platelet transfusion yesterday. This should help my blood to clot up should there be any bleeding. The hemoglobin was low, but not low enough to require a blood transfusion. The BMT doctor did not give me a shot to boost my blood count after the chemo. She wanted my body to recover on its own. Needless to say, I am very much neutropenic now, so I am being extra careful.

Please continue to pray that there will not be any side effects from this round of chemo. In particular, that I will not have to deal with nausea, mouth sores, digestive problems, problems with the kidney or liver, and infections of any kind (bacteria, virus, fungus). The flu season is getting into full swing now, with many people coughing and sneezing. I avoid them like the plague! Please pray that my family and I will not be infected with the regular flu and the deadly H1N1 flu virus.

"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." (Proverbs 17:17). I consider myself blessed to have many true friends who have shown their love during this time. I am doubly blessed to have 6 siblings who are pulling for me and helping in their own way. My sister, Verna, is back in Manila. She was a big help to us the last 3 months. She had denied herself the comfort of her life in Manila to come here and help us out. She prepared food for us, took care of dropping off the kids and picking them up, accompanied me to my appointments, and cheered me up with her company. Although I didn't abuse her kindness by letting her cook all the time (I do most of the cooking when I feel well), she was always willing to help. Coming from someone who didn't have to do any chores or take care of anyone else at home - I am deeply touched by her generous spirit!

That is all for now. I will have more information about bone marrow transplant in my next blog. It is quite an interesting topic on its own. Please pray that God will make his will concerning bone marrow transplant very clear to us. Please continue to pray for my complete healing, that God will guide the doctors in providing the care that I need, and that my family and I will continue to be happy and positive throughout this journey.

Thank you for your continued prayers and may God bless you and your family!

11/27/2009 - Thanksgiving

I made it home for Thanksgiving! The last 2 doses of chemo knocked me out. I was awake just long enough to order my meals and eat them before they grew cold. Then, I got a blood transfusion because my hemoglobin will most likely be very low. I was energized after all that sleep. The serving of blood also helped, I'm sure. (just like a vampire? :-)

I was discharged late in afternoon, but felt strong enough to join my cousin, Henry, and his family for Thanksgiving. They had it at his son's new house. We wanted to see the place, and it was also a chance for them to bid my sister farewell. We had Turducken for dinner. What was that?! Never heard of it before, either. Turducken is a turkey stuffed with duck and chicken. Interesting concept! We also enjoyed the jambalaya rice that came with it.

We are so blessed to have a plan B in case I didn't feel well enough to go out. My dear friend, Bessie, brought us ham that she had glazed with her special glaze (...and love). So, we're celebrating Thanksgiving again tonight! From plan B to take two! It is my sister, Verna's last dinner with us, so we have much to celebrate and much to be thankful for. Can't be too thankful for all our blessings!

Thanksgiving is that time of the year when we realized how blessed we are. We also get to appreciate what is truly important in life - family, friends, good health, salvation, faith, etc. One thing we are very thankful for this year is all the relatives and friends who have reached out one way or the other to help us out during this difficult journey. You are all very much appreciated. Even one single prayer means a lot to us. It is the combination of all our prayers that has made this journey as problem-free as it had been. I consider myself very, very blessed to have it relatively easy - things could have been a lot worse! We are also very blessed to have you all alongside us in our journey. Thank you once again!

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving and may God continue to bless you and your family!

11/24/2009 - Round 3, Day 3

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

The extension of this round of chemo really worked out great for our family. I was concerned about the kids not being able to see me because of the CDC ruling, but it turned out better than I had expected. Katie and Ellie do not have school this week, so they were able to come visit me during the day, when it was still bright outside. We enjoyed feeding the fish again yesterday afternoon. I found out that the fish in the pond are koi fish. According to my sister, those fish can live over 100 years. There are over 50 adult fish and many more small ones. Yes, they will still be around long after all of us are gone. We also played with the floor chime in the rose garden. It reminded me of the oversized floor piano at FAO Schwartz in NY - remember Tom Hanks in Big? The chime is embedded on the ground, and we make different notes by stepping or jumping on them. We got creative and had a lot of fun - until Ellie slipped and scratched her elbow. We went to the nearest restroom at the Visitor Center to clean off the scratch.

Little did we know that we will be entering a historic building. The ceiling was beautifully painted almost 100 years ago. One of the walls had a mural that was last valued at $2.7M. It was painted by 2 young artists (Philip Goldstein/Guston and another artist) years ago. They have now become famous, thus the high price on the mural. There were many historic photographs of important people, like Eleanor Roosevelt, who went there. We got to chat with the manager of the place, who told us more interesting stories about the place and sent us away with some souvenirs and goodies - really nice lady. She also mentioned that Lamar Odom of the Lakers and his wife, Kloe Kardashian (reality show star) were there this afternoon to play basketball with the pediatric patients and signed autographs. I'm not a fan of either, but it was very nice of them to do it for the kids.

The chemo yesterday was uneventful. Thank you again for your prayers, and thank God! I slept a lot during and after the chemo. By the time I was alert enough to see my family, it was getting dark outside. So when Katie, Ellie and my sister came for a visit, we only spent time at the gift shop and ate at the bistro while I helped Katie with her school project. We also went to a nearby restaurant to buy dinner for the family. The kids like the spam musubi and Rob likes their loco moco at the Hawaiian barbecue joint. Shhh! Don't let my doctor or nurses know that I broke my parole. I may lose the privilege. :-) In case some of you got concerned, it was only a few blocks away, and the restaurant had only a few people there, so I did not take any big risks by going out. The biggest risk is writing about it - so no squealing please! Rob visited me last night, but was too tired to visit me tonight - no biggie.

The doctor gave the results of the cell match today - none of my 6 siblings is my cell match. Yep, not one. Oh, no! Maybe I WAS adopted! Or maybe it's true that they just found me in a trash can! Oh no, this may mean years of therapy! ha! ha! ha! All drama aside, it is not unusual not to have a cell match among siblings. I got a warning last week when the person I spoke with at my insurance company told me her husband had 10 siblings and none was a match. Now what? We don't know yet. I thought I could get away without a transplant if none of my siblings were a match, but God may have something else in mind. The doctor really wanted me to have the transplant because she's concerned about a relapse. Apparently, if I don't get a transplant, the relapse may happen in the next couple of years. The doctor looked at the national donor registry and she thinks we have a good chance of getting a 100% match from an unrelated donor. What do I do now? I will continue taking the last 2 rounds of chemo treatments unless we find a cell match. There's much to think about and more to pray about. Right now, we're just taking it a step at a time. Please pray that God will open the way, prepare our hearts, and make it obvious to us what our next steps should be.

Thank you all for your continued prayers and may God bless you and your family!

11/23/2009 - Round 3, Day 2

Thank you for your prayers. Our God is gracious and merciful. His lovingkindness never ceases. Great is His faithfulness!

I started receiving chemo on Sunday, sometime after midnight. The dose lasted 3 hours. The next dose was given 12 hours later. So far, the only side effect I got was minor rashes that went away this morning. My sister, Verna visited me yesterday. My friend, Bessie, also came and brought me some food. Other than being awake for the visits, I slept most of the day. The anti-nausea medication they gave me can make people drowsy.

By the time I woke up in the afternoon, it was already dark outside. I didn't think it would be fun for the kids to come and visit me at the lobby. They will not be allowed to come to the room because of the CDC regulation concerning the flu season. Besides, they were scheduled to visit me today anyway. We "visited" each other last night via webcam. I gave them the lazy tour of my room by moving the webcam around. Aaah, technology!

Today is my "rest" day from chemo. The next chemo starts at midnight. My doctor gave me permission to leave the hospital twice for an hour each time. I'm only allowed to stay within the campus. Come to think of it, how would they know? Hmmm... I better stick to the rules, though, or I may lose the privilege. Don't want to break my parole. he! he! I'm glad they don't let me go around in orange or striped uniform over here. :-)

My sister came to visit with the girls this morning. We went around the campus a little bit. First, we took the tram to the Japanese garden. The girls enjoyed feeding the fish and watching the turtles. They have lots of koi or carp fish here, and their mouths can open almost as wide as their faces. You'd think they don't feed the fish here. Imagine 50 big mouths all trying to catch fish food - quite a sight. The turtles didn't have a chance at the food. There were 2 turtles that couldn't care less. They were busy making a family. I'm glad the girls didn't ask what they were doing or I'd blush (not!). They will be coming back this afternoon to feed the fish again. Instead of paying 25 cents for a small handful of fish food for each of the girls, my sister will go to the 99 cent store to get a whole bag - now, that's being practical. The fish will just love the kids! We'll try not to overfeed them.

The next stop was the Sculpture garden to see some interesting sculptures. My favorite was the one that looked like rocks were floating in air - very interesting. Then, we went to the Rose Garden where they must have over 50 different breeds of roses - impressive. The place reminds me of the Huntington Gardens - just a miniature version of it. The statue of Pope John Paul was in the Rose Garden, near a bigger statue of the Virgin of Guadalupe. The pope's statue was dedicated about a month ago, with Andrea Bocelli singing during the dedication. I'm sure it was a beautiful ceremony.

What impressed me the most in the campus were the research centers. It seems like everyone wanted his/her own reseach center. Instead of having a 30-story research building, there must be 20 to 30 different one to two-story research centers each bearing a different donor's name. Mabe it is just a city regulation. It seems like people could not throw enough money to this place. I am reminded of a donor every other minute. In the building where I get my blood transfusion, each waiting room was named after a donor. In addition, the decorations were mostly donated. The walls also list names of donors. This morning, we saw that even the walkway had names plates on the curb. Maybe I can also be a donor someday. That will be nice. Now that I know what it is like to have cancer, I would like to be able to give back or pay it forward, just like the people who helped fund the research to find a cure for Leukemia. I owe my life to them.

Great news: my sister was able to extend her departure back to Manila until Saturday. That will give us a few more days to bond, and I will be able to see her off at the airport! She is such a huge blessing to us!

That is all for now. I will rest for a while, then the girls will be back to feed the fish. Please continue to pray that my remaining chemo treatments will be uneventful and free of side effects. Also please keep praying for my family and I as we go through this journey.

Thank you for your prayers and may God bless you and your family!

11/21/2009 - Round 3

I was finally admitted tonight at the City of Hope for my next round of chemo. As you know, I was supposed to be admitted on Thursday, but they didn't have a room available until today. I'm not complaining, though. "All things work out for good for those who love the Lord." The delay actually worked out well for us. We all got to enjoy more family time, Ellie got more time to prepare herself for my hospital stay, I got more time to get stronger, and we also got to spend more time with my sister who will be leaving next week. I will not be able to see her off at the airport, but that's not such a big deal.

I was also able to meet with the girls' teachers for their evaluation. Just like Ellie, Katie's evaluation came out great! She was expecting all A's and that was what she got. We are blessed to have kids who enjoy learning, and don't need much help or prodding from their parents to do their schoolwork. They were very happy to get their surprise reward - new stuffed animals! It is wonderful to see how easy it is to please children.

Answered prayers: I was admitted to the new hospital! Not the old and not-so-nice medical center that they still send patients to when they're fully booked at this new one. And although I was initially assigned to a room with the view of the freeway, they moved me to a room with a mountain view! The nurse here remembered that I liked the room with the mountain view when I came to check out the hospital, so she switched my room. Woohoo! It is too dark to see the mountains tonight, but I look forward to seeing the mountains tomorrow. Thank you, Lord!

My sister and kids dropped me off tonight. Robert was playing with his friends - the poor guy needs to unwind, too. We'll use the webcam to call each other tonight, then they will visit me tomorrow afternoon. Although they are not allowed to come to my room, I assume that I will be allowed to see them at the lobby. I have to get a permit from the doctor, but it should not be an issue unless my blood count is really low.

My chemo hasn't started yet. The nurse is still waiting for my blood test results. The doctor wanted to make sure my blood count is still good, and that my liver and kidneys are still okay before starting the chemo. I don't expect anything to have changed significantly since Thursday, so I should be getting my chemo in the couple of hours. This means unless I get a fever or some other side effects that require me to me stay in the hospital, I shall be home in time to celebrate Thanksgiving dinner. We had to cancel our Thanksgiving/birthday lunch party at Robert's cousin's place, and I may have to cancel the Thanksgiving dinner invitation at my cousins' place. I may not feel up to going anywhere but home after the chemo. It looks like we'll just have a nice, quiet Thanksgiving dinner at home. The celebration may be simple, but we will definitely celebrate! There is just so much to be thankful for!

Among the things I am most grateful for are the people who have been praying for me and my family. If it weren't for your prayers, things would have been much more difficult for us in many ways. Please continue to pray for us during this round of chemo, that the kids will not have a hard time with the new visiting rules, that I will not have no side effects, and that the doctors and caregivers will have the wisdom to give me the best care.

Thank you for your continued concern and prayers and may God bless you and your family!

11/19/2009 - Chemo Delayed Again

My blood test this morning came out well. The white blood count, ANC, hemoglobin and platelets all looked good, so it's time to knock them all down again! :-( The doctor wanted to start my next round of chemo today. Problem is, the hospital was fully booked. I was number 4 in the list, but only 2 rooms became available today. I'm on standby for a room tomorrow. It's the flu season. Many hospitals are fully booked these days, especially as the H1N1 virus spreads.

The delay actually worked out well for us. Katie and Ellie's evaluation for the semester was scheduled for this afternoon and tomorrow morning. I was able to discuss Ellie's performance with her teacher, and will be able to do the same for with Katie's teacher tomorrow morning. Ellie did really well at school. She is the youngest and smallest student in her class, but she is one of the brightest. I have a suspicion she is the teacher's pet. I don't blame her - Ellie IS charming. This is the opinion of a totally biased mother. :-) I was also able to get a few more things in my checklist done. One of the items was to cook Paella for the family. I knew my sister will also like the dish, and she did! The other things had to do with work or insurance requirements - just more paperwork! ugh!

I hope I get admitted tomorrow so I can be discharged next Wednesday - just in time to see my sister off that evening as she leaves for Manila. We're all going to miss her. She has been such a tremendous help to us, and we all enjoyed her company. We all look forward to having her join us again next year. My mother-in-law may also come over early next year to help us out. We're so blessed to have both my sister and my mother-in-law willing and able to come and give us a hand.

I found out today that there are 2 hospitals at City of Hope. The one I visited was the main hospital, and also the new one. Apparently, they have an older hospital that they still use if the main hospital is full. A nurse suggested that I request for a room in the main hospital because the older hospital is not so nice anymore. Please pray that I will get a room in the main hospital, preferably with the mountain view.

That's it for today. Please continue to pray that my next round of chemo will go well with no side effects. Please also continue to pray for our emotional and spiritual well-being as I go through my next round of chemo, and for protection from the flu virus and other viruses going around these days.

Thank you all for your concern and prayers. May God continue to bless you and your family!

11/15/2009 - Chemo Rescheduled

I am writing this blog entry from home. I was tentatively scheduled to be admitted for my next round of chemo last Friday, but it did not happen. One reason was that even though my platelets came up quite a bit, it was still low. My white blood cells and neutrophils were much higher. I'm not neutropenic anymore! My hemoglobin was higher, too, so no more blood transfusion. The other reason was to protect my liver. The medication I was taking affects the liver. The doctor wanted me to stop the medication and give my liver a rest before starting the next round of chemo. As you may already know, chemo drugs affect the liver, too. My next round of chemo is now scheduled for Thursday, the 19th. This is really like boxing. Once I am strong enough to get back in the ring, it's time for the next round.

I am happy about the delay, because I was not ready to be admitted last week. I did not get enough sleep a couple of nights last week, so I wanted to get myself stronger first before the next round of chemo. I think we were also not yet ready emotionally for it. Ellie got teary eyed when she heard that I may be going to the hospital in a couple of days. Even though I have been giving them a heads up about it for a while now, she didn't quite realize how soon it was going to be. It broke my heart to see her fighting back her tears. It was good to have a few more days of bonding and cuddling with the kids before going to he hospital. Rob and I were also happy to have more time together.

I got to meet a couple of people this week who made me so thankful of my situation. I often think that as bad as things are, they could be worse. It helps to be reminded how bad things could get, though. One of the people I met told me about her husband having to go through 4 rounds of chemo with lots of side effects before being in remission. He had to have bone marrow transplant right away after that. Since they could not find a match among his 10 siblings (yes, 10!) and they didn't have time to find a donor, he had to be his own donor. From what I know, being the donor to oneself is not recommended unless it is absolutely necessary. He lost his hair three times, once when he had his first chemo, then when his stem cells were being harvested (I think he had to have another high dose of chemo then), and when he had the bone marrow transplant. In the process, they had to go through 3 hospitals and 2 insurance companies. It was a difficult and long-drawn process for them. Thank God he is doing well now.

The other person I met went through a tough time with chemos for a whole year in another hospital. She moved to the City of Hope, where her body responding well to the chemo drug given to her. She has gone through 4 additional rounds of chemo and is now getting her bone marrow transplant. While at the other hospital, she was not given morphine during her biopsies even when she asked for it - poor thing! She had a port surgically implanted to her chest just like mine, but in her case, they had to do it twice because they made a mistake the first time, then her lungs collapsed because of the error. It also got infected, then it got clogged up because of the prolonged use, so they had to implant another port in her arm. As if this was not enough, she also had problems with her lumbar. I didn't even get to hear everything she went through, because she was called in to see her doctor. I really felt so bad for her. Hearing these stories reminded me of how blessed I was that I did not have to go through what they went through. God continues to be gracious and merciful to me.

My doctor at City of Hope is a relatively young doctor, and I initially had my doubts about her. I have been asking for feedback, and so far, I have only heard good things about her from the nurses, from one of her patients, and from my oncologist. I think I will stick with her. My case is pretty simple and straightforward, so I don't think I need the best doctor in the house. It may be an advantage to have a doctor who has more time to answer my questions than an expert who doesn't have time for me. One of my reservations in moving to the City of Hope was the thought of having to deal with different doctors as an inpatient. Apparently, I was misinformed. Although the doctors have been lobbying to have the same doctor(s) do the rounds for all patients each week, it has not yet been approved, so each doctor has to see his/her own patient when they are admitted. This is good news to me.

Please continue to pray that my next round of chemo will be uneventful. I have learned that side effects from chemo can occur a few weeks after the treatment, so please keep praying about it even after I have been discharged. Also please pray that my kids will not miss me too much when I get admitted, because they will not be able to visit me in my room. Lastly, please continue that my family and I will be protected from the flu viruses, and continue to stay happy and positive throughout this journey. Both Robert and Ellie have fully recovered from their colds. Thanks for the prayers.

Once again, thank you for your concern and prayers, and may God bless you all!

11/7/09 - Getting Ready for Round Three

Good news: my bone marrow is slowly recovering. I have been getting platelet and/or blood transfusion every week since my last chemo. My hemoglobin was at 8.4 on Tuesday, so I got more blood. The blood test on Friday finally came out well enough not to have any blood transfusion. My ANC went up to 0.92. That means I am finally almost not neutropenic! I am still being extra careful because of the flu season. I think I will carry on as if I am neutropenic until the flu season is over - can't be too careful.

My oncologist thinks I can have the next round of chemo next week. The bone marrow transplant doctor agrees, so I am tentatively scheduled to be admitted to the City of Hope next Friday. We have decided to give the City of Hope a try for the next round of chemo. The experience of having to wait for blood or having to be admitted for blood transfusion at the Huntington Memorial Hospital had tainted my view of the outstanding institution. I still painfully remember the National Incompetence Day saga. Perhaps that was a blessing in disguise to move me to the City pf Hope. With the flu season upon us, it may be better to be admitted in a hospital that has better access to blood and that only deals with cancer. This is going to be a brand new experience! I hope I get a room with the mountain view! All rooms have either the view of the mountains or the freeway. I prefer mountains, of course. I'll just treat this as another adventure. Instead of traveling to new, exotic places for an adventure, I now have the privilege of traveling to new institutions for a different kind of "adventure". I get to experience "special" accommodations and food, and meet new people. Maybe I can contribute to Rick Steve's and Fodor's books... :-)

The CDC (Center for Disease Control and Prevention) recently required all hospitals to regulate their visitors, because they expect this flu season to be harsh. Children under 16 years of age cannot visit patients in the hospital. I am allowed to see my kids at the lobby, but they cannot enter the section for patients. Although this will be tough for the kids, it is better for the patients, including me. For now, we're planning to use a webcam to supplement visits at the lobby.

My next round of chemo will be the same as the previous one. Same dose of the same drug given in three alternating days, for a total hospital stay of 6 days. The doctor warned me that the effect of chemo drugs are cumulative, so although I have very little side effect from the previous two chemos, I should be not be surprised if I experience more side effects this time around. Yikes! In preparation for potential mouth sores again, I have asked my dentist to make mouth guards for me. These will prevent the side of my tongue from rubbing against my teeth. I had my mouth sores on the side of my tongue last time. Whenever my tongue rubbed against my teeth, it aggravated the sore, and made me jump in pain. Imagine going from being asleep to sitting up straight in one second. Ouch!

Please pray that I will adjust well to the new hospital, and that I will get a room with the mountain view. Also pray that our family will be able to address the CDC ruling well so we won't miss each other too much. Rob still has a slight cold, and Ellie has stuffy nose and fighting off a virus. Please pray for their healing and that Katie and I will not catch whatever they have. Another special request is that I will not have any side effects from the chemo this time around. Lastly, please continue to pray for my complete healing, for s stem cell match from my siblings if I will have to go through BMT, and that our family will remain happy and positive through this journey.

Thank you all for your continued prayers, and may God bless you all!

11/2/2009 - Celebrations

What a wonderful birthday! I had a really great time celebrating my birthday. I love celebrating birthdays - not in the big, fancy party kind of way, but just doing special things with people who are closest to me. So what if I am "getting older" each year? There's absolutely nothing wrong in celebrating my 40th birthday for as long as I want, right? ha! ha! Maybe I'm just not vain enough, but I don't really care if I don't look as young as I used to, or that I'm not as nimble as I used to be, the important thing is that I am enjoying life and I feel young in my heart. Of course, I try to keep my good looks (ha! ha!) and stay healthy within reason, but there's no point fighting what comes naturally to everyone. As one wise veteran actress once said, "Aging is inevitable, but getting old is optional." I continue to age but I will never grow old. My kids may disagree at some point, but it doesn't matter. There is so much to learn and enjoy in life, I don't want to spend precious time fretting about growing old. This year is extra-special. Having come so close to seeing the end of life, I do have much to celebrate - Life and Love!

I had a real treat on Saturday. My dear friend Dette flew in to celebrate my birthday with me! That was very sweet and thoughtful of her - what a wonderful gift! We both love Chinese food, so we stuffed ourselves with Chinese dimsum for lunch while catching up with each other. Blah... blah... blah... gulp... gulp... blah.. blah... choke... :-o What fun - not the choking part. After going through many little baskets of food, we managed to roll ourselves out of the restaurant and headed home. When we got home, there was a bouquet of flowers waiting for me from my loving hubby. Katie and Ellie also had a flower each for me. Oops! Someone forgot that I am still neutropenic. That means no fresh flowers inside the house. Rob moved the flowers to the patio outside the bedroom, so I can still enjoy the flowers when I open the blinds. That was a good compromise.

We went to the Huntington Gardens with the kids to walk off the calories in the Chinese garden. The place closes at 4:30, so we didn't have much time to enjoy the place. The kids wanted to stay longer, but we had to leave before the guards escort us out of the place. I promised the kids we'll be back.

Sunday morning - my birthday! Rob gave me a very nice birthday card and an IOU gift - for me to pick out when I'm no longer neutropenic, so it should be quite nice. Katie gave me a birthday card that she made herself days ago. It was very pretty. Ellie got jealous and said she also wanted to make me a card later in the day, and she did. We had freshly baked chocolate croissants for breakfast (yum!), then headed to church. We went to one of our favorite Japanese restaurants for lunch and went back to the Huntington Gardens enjoy the place. This time, we went to the Library to see the Gutenberg Bible and other book displays - they have a collection of over 400,000 rare books in the library - my dream library! They also had a section devoted to science, so the kids enjoyed looking through the telescope to see the moon (fake, of course), peered into microscopes to see tiny insects, played with lights, listened to great people talk about their discoveries, etc. Wish I had this much fun learning when I was a kid. Whenever we go to the library, I am reminded of how little I know, and how amazing our world is. I am also very grateful to all the great scientists, philosophers, historians and writers who helped us understand our world better. Once again, I am in awe of how great our God is!

After the library, the kids wanted to head to the Conservatory where they have a simulated rainforest environment and many things for the kids to "play" with while learning about plants. Then, it was off to the Children's Garden to play with magnetic sand, fountains and other fun stuff for kids. We finally left the place during closing time, feeling grateful that we live close to such a nice place.

When we got home, I had more surprises! My sister Verna got me a beautiful chocolate birthday cake, and Bessie gave me a very nice birthday cake with fruits! Yay! Two beautiful birthday cakes for me! They were both from one of my favorite bakeries for birthday cakes (JJ Bakery) - their cakes are not too sweet like most bakeries so we like them better. Well, as beautiful and delicious as the birthday cakes look, they will have to wait, because we have to head out to my favorite seafood restaurant for dinner.

We had black cod cooked at the table in a special broth, live crabs fried in lots of garlic and other spices, sauteed scallops, watercress and fish balls in hot pot, and the necessary Chiu Chow noodles for longevity. Yum! Yum! Yum! This was why I really, really wanted to have my mouth sore healed before my birthday - this is my idea of a celebration - great food and lots of love around the table! We ended the meal at home with the delicious birthday cakes - anybody can guess what I wished for when I blew the candles - duh!

We capped the day with a Bowling match (Wii, of course). And once again, the kids won! "But it's my birthday!", I told the kids, but they just laughed. They showed no mercy! :-( I think someday we'll realize that there's something in the Wii software that gives unfair advantage to players who are under a certain height. Until then, I will just have to play on my knees! ha! ha!

What a very, very nice birthday! All the phone calls, cards, email, text and facebook greetings also made the day even more special. I feel so loved. I am so blessed to have relatives and friends who care so much. Many have seen my "warts and all", but they still love me just the same. Relatives who truly care and true friends are priceless gifts from above. These are the best gifts of all. I am so blessed!

Thank you so much once again for your prayers, and your love and concern. May God bless you and your family!

10/29/2009 - Answered Prayers

Good news! My mouth sore is getting better! Today is the first day I was able to have some solid food - not a lot, but at least I was able to get off my liquid diet. I am sure it will be well by my birthday! I am already thanking God for answering our prayers.

A few nights ago, I prayed really, really hard for my mouth sore to heal, and asked if God would grant me my birthday wish. I have no right to demand anything from the Almighty, but that He would grant my request through His grace and mercy. I was able to sleep better that night. When I woke up at 5am to use the bathroom, I looked at the mirror just to check how my mouth sore was doing. I was shocked at how much it improved in a few hours! I knew that it was God's healing hands that made it happen. Once again, I was overwhelmed by the goodness of God. Thank you all for your prayers! I know that God was moved by our prayers. At that time, I knew my mouth sore will get better in time for my birthday. I got so excited at the prospect of having good food for my birthday that I couldn't go back to sleep. I had visions of good food parading before my eyes - not really, but I enjoyed thinking of all the delicious food I can have again. Yum!

I have been going to my oncologist for my weekly check-up. When my blood count was low, they had to schedule a blood transfusion for me. It takes a few days to get the transfusion after the check-up. That's not a good thing for someone in my condition. Yesterday, I have started seeing the bone marrow transplant (BMT) doctor for follow-up consultation. When the BMT doctor saw that my blood count was low, she ordered a platelet and blood transfusion, and they were able to get it done the afternoon. I was pleasantly surprised to see how quickly they were able to facilitate everything at the City of Hope. The doctor also ordered my blood count to be checked twice a week with potential transfusion if the numbers are low. Right now, the goal is to get my blood count to go up high enough so that I can have my next round of chemo. I am presently considering having my chemo at the City of Hope because of how quickly they were able to get the blood transfusion done. I have checked out their hospital room and talked to some of the nurses there. Although they have smaller rooms than what I am used to, the one I saw was clean and provides enough room for me. They do not have wi-fi, but they do have dsl connection. The only downside is that I have to take whichever doctor happens to be assigned to do the rounds the week I am confined there. It may be my BMT doctor or someone else. That's just the way they do things there. Anyway, I still have time to decide.

Quick update on BMT: the insurance company has approved the cell matching to be done for all my siblings. The City of Hope has just sent out the kits, so we should know if there is a match in about 20 days.

Thank you all for your prayers and words of encouragement. Please continue to pray for my mouth sore, for my complete healing, and for my family and I to stay happy and positive throughout this journey. Also please pray that Rob and I can make the right decision on where to have my next round of chemo, and whether I should have a bone marrow transplant.

Thank you once again and may God bless you and your family!

10/25/2009 - Mucositis

"Therefore we do not lose heart, though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18. This was the verse that jumped out at me yesterday morning, reminding me once again that the pain will end soon and where to focus my attention.

Mucositis is a common side effect of chemotherapy. It affects the mucosal cells lining the mouth, throat, stomach, and intestines. Chemotherapy destroys the cells quickly and they are not replaced right away. There may be sores in the mouth and throat causing pain and difficulty eating for a week or two until the tissues recover. This is what I am dealing with right now.

Thank you very much for your prayers. I really felt the power of your prayers. When I last posted to the blog, I had a big mouth sore on the side of my mouth, sore gums and sore throat that made it difficult to swallow. The left side of my tongue was swollen due to the mouth sores, causing the line down the middle of my tongue to curve. Interesting, huh? Now, the line is almost straight, and an hourly application of lidocaine has kept the pain under control. I still wake up many times at night to reapply lidocaine so I won't feel the stinging or throbbing pain, but I do get more sleep now. My throat and gums also feel better now. They still bother me from time to time, but not as often as before.

I am more creative with my food intake these days. Some of my latest creations: banana orange wheat grass smoothie, cream of arroz caldo con asparagus soup, pureed duck in chinese herb (si but) soup. I miss having real food, and spend a lot of time preparing food, but it is better and more nutritious than having the boxed or canned soup variety. Besides, this is just temporary. I hope that the sore will be gone by next Sunday - my birthday! It will be tough to really celebrate my birthday without having good food!

One more skill I picked up from mucositis is talking without moving my mouth and tongue much. This minimizes the risk of accidentally rubbing the sore on my tongue against a sharp part of my teeth. The stabbing pain I get when this happens is something I will never miss. Hey! Maybe I can try to be a ventriloquist when this is all over! :-)

The best news is that I do feel much better now in terms of dealing with the pain. It helps to refocus my attention on God and not on the pain. I don't feel so bad about it anymore, and I have regained my sense of humor. I just try to make the most of the situation. I spend most of my day preparing food, brushing and gargling with salt and baking soda solution every time I eat, and applying medication - what fun! :-/

My recent blood test is a little better than the last one, but it is still pretty low. I just had another blood and platelet transfusion on Friday. This time, I was able to have it in the outpatient facility. The mouth, throat and gum sores should heal by themselves in a week or two. However, I would need my white cells to go up for this to happen.

Please continue to pray for my complete healing, for my blood count to go back up to normal, for my sores to heal soon (before my birthday, please!). Also please continue to pray that my family and I will continue to be happy and positive throughout the journey, and that we will not catch any flu, especially the H1N1 (swine) flu. Lastly, Robert is fighting cold, so please also pray that the girls and I will not catch it.

As always, my family and I appreciate all your prayers and support. May God continue to bless you and your family!

10/21/2009 - When Things Go Wrong

By God's grace, the second round of chemotherapy at the hospital went well with virtually no side effect except for mild cases of nausea. I went home as scheduled - yehey! When I got home, I was pleasantly surprised when relatives and friends brought delicious and nutritious food to us the next few days. Thank you, Tita Belen, Henry, Nora, Bessie and Cristina! I also received a package of Chinese herbs from my mom that Gina so graciously brought with her from Manila. Thanks, Gina! What a nice homecoming - I could feel the love!

The following day, I got my Neulasta shot at the doctor's office to help my blood count go up. Everything seemed normal, but when I had my blood tested a few days later, all the numbers were low, especially my platelets. It was 4! The normal range starts at 150. My platelets were doing the limbo - how low can you go?

The doctor wanted me to have a platelet transfusion as soon as possible. Although I did not really need a blood transfusion yet, the doctor though it will be a good idea just to have both at the same time. The transfusion should have been an outpatient procedure, but the soonest available slot was not until several days later. The fastest way to get a transfusion in this case was to be admitted to the hospital. Still, the soonest availability was 2 days later. In the meantime, a mouth sore started to develop on the side of my tongue - where it hits my teeth whenever I talk, chew, gargle, etc. Not a good thing!

October 17. Almost everything that could go wrong went wrong that day. I might have missed the notice that October 17 was the National Incompetence Day. As soon as I woke up that day, I had to deal with mistakes made by people who were responsible for my hospital stay and for informing me about it. When I got to the hospital, it didn't help that I got to see the other side of the Huntington Memorial Hospital. I stayed at the old wing of the hospital and got a room with a bed and chairs that were old and scratched, paint peeling off the wall, shower leaking, and of course, without a view. The room was not properly cleaned when I got there, and the bed was so uncomfortable they had to replace it middle of the night. When I complained about the bed, the maintenance person realized that it should have been taken out for repair! The nurse and aide were also in step with the Incompetence Day theme. With almost everything going wrong, I had to do a lot of talking with a growing canker sore on the side of my tongue (ouch!). October 17 was the day I was tested for patience. I wish that I could say that I passed the test with flying colors, but I failed miserably - test after test after test. As my husband put it nicely, patience has always been my Achilles heel. When will I learn to be patient?! Not soon enough! :-)

When things go wrong like they did on October 17, that was when I fully realized how blessed I was that things went so well the last couple of times I had my chemo at the hospital! I guess, sometimes it helps to go through bad times to fully appreciate what one had.

The canker sore has gotten worse since I left the hospital. As of yesterday, I could no longer eat solid food nor talk normally. My gums are tender and sore at night. They kept me awake the last 2 nights. I have a low grade fever and my throat is starting to hurt. I called my doctor this evening to see what can be done. According to the oncologist covering for my doctor tonight, this is about the time when I am susceptible to infections, so start taking antibiotics. Thanks for letting me know! And I thought I was doing so well after the second round of chemo. Lesson learned: chemo side effects can take weeks to unfold, so I should be more careful next time. I have another check-up with the doctor tomorrow. My blood count is likely going to be low again, so they tentatively booked a slot for me on Friday for outpatient blood transfusion.

Please pray that my blood count will go up so I won't be neutropenic anymore. Also pray that my mouth sore, gums and sore throat will heal quickly. They have been keeping me awake at night, that's why I am blogging at this time. I should have asked for your prayers sooner. It would be nice to have a good night's sleep, enjoy food and a regular conversation again! Please also pray that I will not catch any infection, especially flu. The flu season has started in America. So far, the doctor didn't want me to have flu shots because of my low blood count. Please pray that my family and I will not catch the flu, especially H1N1 (swine flu) that has started claiming lives here. I try to be careful and stay away from crowded places, but all it takes is one person to spread it to me or my family and on to me.

Please continue to pray for my complete healing, for my family and I to stay positive and happy throughout this journey, and for Robert and I to have peace with the decision on whether to have a bone marrow transplant. I think it will be better for me to have a bone marrow transplant, but Robert is not convinced that it is the better solution. Also please pray that if I were to have a bone marrow transplant, that they will be able to find a cell match for me as soon as possible.

Thank you once again for your prayers and for persevering with us through this journey. It means a lot to me and my family. I know this journey would have been a lot more difficult for us without your support. May God bless you and your family!

10/10/2009 - Last day at the Hospital

I have gone through 2 days of chemo, and will start the next one in a few hours. I thank God for making it easy on my body, and I thank you all for your prayers. So far, I only had mild cases of nausea, but they quickly went away, so no vomiting. I also got some rashes that looked like the beginnings of chicken pox on day 1, but those were also gone by the following morning. I am being given medication to fight off chicken pox just in case the virus wants to come out and party - no party for them this time!

As expected, my blood count went down with every dose of chemo. My white blood cells is down to 1.3 (too low), hemoglobin down to 8.3 (blood transfusion again), and ANC down to 0.9 (neutropenic again). These did not come as a surprise. I will get another pint of blood sometime this afternoon. We just have to wait for the blood to be irradiated and whatever else the blood bank does to make donated blood acceptable to Leukemia patients. I will also get my next dose of chemo at 2pm, then the last one at 2am. Then I'm done! Hurray!

I will have to go to my doctor's office on Monday to get a shot to increase my blood count. It is not Neupogen this time, but another drug that is supposed to last for 2 weeks. By then, my bone marrow should be able to kick in and produce the blood cells my body needs.

Yesterday, a volunteer came to our floor to play the harp for the patients. It was so nice of her to carry that human-sized harp around just to lift our spirits up with music. She reminded me of the harpist in Jack and the Beanstalk. She was pretty with long blond hair, except that she was not strapped to her harp. :-) The music was beautiful. The harpist informed me that I can request for volunteers to come and play music when I am in the hospital. Hmmm...I wonder if Yo Yo Ma volunteers when he is in town...

Another blessing I received the last couple of days was Crisitina's pinakbet. I am not a big fan of the dish, but my best friend prepares it so well I am now a fan of her version of it. She was nice enough to bring me some when she was working the last couple of days. Yum!

Of course, the biggest treat everyday was seeing my family at the end of the day. Even just an hour with them is enough to put a big smile on my face. Tonight will be movie night again! We will have dinner together in my room while watching a dvd. We're looking forward to that. But more than that, we are all looking forward to my going home on Sunday. After being away for 5 weeks last time, our family is closer than ever. We spend a lot more time with each other and do fun stuff together like having Wii matches, letting my kids read to me (my little one is a proud reader now), helping with their homework, and just hanging around each other. We do not to take these moments for granted anymore, so we appreciate them more. I hope other families don't have to go through what we went through to appreciate what they have.

Thank you all once again for your prayers and may God bless you and your family.

10/07/2009 - Round Two

My second round of chemotherapy started yesterday afternoon. So far, so good. I had no side effects other than feeling mild nausea this afternoon. Thank God! There are some other new things I am thankful for:

- This round of chemo is simpler than I thought. I misunderstood what the doctor said. I thought I will have two 12-hour sessions each day. The treatment actually consists of only two 3-hour session each day given 12 hours apart. The full treatment will be 3 days given during alternate days. So, if all goes well, I should be going home on Sunday.

- I got a room with a view again! I was even given a choice between a bigger room with the view of mostly trees or a smaller room but with the mountain view. I guess it pays to be nice to other people, because most patients don't get a choice for their room, but the people here knew I like bigger rooms and rooms with the mountain view, so they gave me a choice. I chose the smaller room with the mountain view. There's something about mountains that lifts my spirits (unless there's wildfire going on!). When I see the mountains, it reminds me of the verse "I look to the mountains, and where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord.." (or something like that somewhere in the Bible).

- Same room, familiar faces. It was comforting to come back to one of the rooms I stayed in last time, and to see the familiar faces. I have become friends with my doctors, and many of the nurses and caregivers here, so it was very nice to see them again. I really like this place and the people here. After all, this was "home" to me for over a month.

- Things could be a lot worse. Yesterday, a friend told me that her nephew also has the same type of Leukemia as I have, but it took him 10 months to be in remission and be able to get a bone marrow transplant. I am now in remission and can already have a bone marrow transplant once a match is found. That's a huge blessing!

These are just the few new things I am thankful for. I continue to be thankful for having so many people who care enough to pray for me and my family, and send me words of support and encouragement. For my sister who put her comfortable life in Manila on hold just to come here and help us out. For the many true friends and relatives who are more than willing to help in any way they can, even offering to be bone marrow transplant donors. For the things that are most important in life - having known and experienced God's love, family, true friends, joy, peace, and hope. It is true what the Little Prince said, "What is essential is invisible to the eye."

Please continue to pray for me and my family on this new leg of our journey: that I will not have any side effects in this round of chemo; that the kids won't have a hard time with my absence; that we will find a cell match for the bone marrow transplant; that we will make the right decision regarding whether to have bone marrow transplant and that we will have peace with the decision.

Thank you once again for your prayers and for persevering with us through our journey. May God bless you and your family!

10/2/2009 - Biopsy Results and Doctors' Recommendation

First the good news: The result of my latest biopsy came out clean! Also, my blood count is coming up nicely on its own. I am no long neutropenic! Thank you, Lord. And thanks to all who have been praying for me. God continues to listen to our prayers and grant our requests.

Robert and I met with the bone marrow transplant (BMT) doctor at the City of Hope on Wednesday, and I had another consultation with my oncologist yesterday. The BMT doctor also had difficulty coming up with a recommendation. Based on a previous biopsy result, I am considered at intermediate risk. Having a BMT will increase the likelihood of NOT having a relapse from 40% t0 50%. The question is whether the 10% improvement is worth subjecting me to the harsher treatment with significant risks of side effects that comes with BMT. The doctor presented the case during their doctors' forum later that day. The doctors' consensus was to proceed with the BMT. This is consistent with my oncologists' recommendation. The final decision will still be up to us, though. Robert and I are having reservations about going through BMT, because we are concerned about the rigorous process and added risk. Until we make a final decision, I will proceed with my chemo treatment(s) and we have also started the process for a potential BMT. The insurance company has to first approve the BMT and testing my siblings for a cell match. We have prayed that the doctors be given the wisdom to come up with the best recommendation that is consistent with God's will. We may just be having a hard time accepting the recommendation. Please pray that we will make the right decision and be at peace with it.

For those who are not aware of what the City of Hope is, it is one of the most advanced facilities in the US for cancer research and treatment. Unlike other hospitals, they only deal with patients with cancer in their facility. They are at the forefront of cancer research, and it is one of the few facilities in LA that can do bone marrow transplant - not all hospitals have the ability to do BMT. They also have some of the best doctors in this field. My oncologist practices in the hospital, but she is not licensed to do BMT that is why I had to speak with another doctor for the procedure. A bonus is that we live very close to the facility. Is it coincidental that our house is somewhere between the Huntington Memorial Hospital (my favorite hospital) and the City of Hope? Maybe God has been preparing us for this all along. Small side note: I was told that Andrea Bocelli was at the City of Hope two weeks ago to sing during the dedication of a statue (of Pope ?) that was donated to the facility. It was a very private event, so not many people knew about it. Hmm...maybe I can be an uninvited guest next time he's there... :-)

Back to the BMT - wish we're discussing BLT here. The BMT procedure is very rigorous. It starts with an intensified chemo plus some radiation treatments to wipe out ALL the blood cells and clean out my bone marrow. The purpose is to create a fresh environment for the "foreign" stem cells. This reduces the risk of having a "graft to host rejection" which is the greatest risk in BMT. If my body rejects the new stem cell, it could lead to many complications, and even death. After the chemo and radiation treatments, they will introduce the new stem cell into my body via IV. I will have to be closely monitored in the hospital for a whole month. After being discharged, I still have to see my doctor twice a week for blood tests, etc. It is crucial to monitor the progress in the first 100 days of the transplant to make sure that the body is accepting the new stem cells. The monitoring eases up a bit after that, but I will still have to take plenty of medications. I get tired just thinking of the whole process. This is a significantly more complicated process when compared to the chemo alternative: 4 more cycles of chemo administered about a month apart and I'm done. Maybe now you understand our concern about going through BMT versus just taking the chemo route. Please pray that if BMT is indeed the course we have to take, that we will have peace with the decision and that we will be physically, emotionally and spiritually equipped and ready to go through it.

My next round of chemo starts next Tuesday. It will have to be done in the hospital because they couldn't find a home nurse that's covered by my insurance and also licensed to administer chemo at home. Although it may seem more convenient to have the chemo at home, I think it is actually better for me to have it in the hospital. I feel safer knowing that I can bother a nurse any time of day if I need any help, and that they can deal with any problems better than we can at home. Another advantage for me is that I will not be tempted to do things around the house when I should be resting most of the time. The next round will consist of 3 alternate days of 24-hour chemo, so I will be in the hospital for 6 days if we include time spent for admission and discharge. I will be given a stronger dose of one of the drugs I was given during the first round. In addition to the usual potential side effects, there is also a risk of having problems with keeping my balance and coordination, and also possible irritation to the eyes. Please pray that I will be able to tolerate the second round of chemo well, and that I will not experience any side effects. Also please pray that Robert and the kids will handle my absence well and that they will be able to visit me everyday at the hospital.

On a lighter note, my sister and I visited the Huntington Gardens this afternoon and had an enjoyable afternoon tea at their Tea Room. The plan was to eat and walk off the calories, but we enjoyed the food and conversation so much that we ran out of time - it was time to pick up the kids at school. Oh well, we'll just have to return another time. My kids felt bad that they didn't go with us, because it is one of our favorite places for family fun. We missed going for picnics during their summer concert series this year because of our trip to the Philippines and then my illness. There is always much to see and do, we always have fun visiting even without the concerts. I promised the girls we will go there again when I feel better after the next round of chemo - that's a good motivation for me to get well soon after the second chemo.

That's it for today. Thank you all for your continued prayers and for persevering with us through our journey. May God bless you all!

Thank you once again for all your prayers and may God bless you all!

9/26/2009 - Latest Blood Test and Biopsy

Hello, everyone! It has been a while since I gave any updates. Until yesterday, everything was pretty much the same except that I enjoy my time with the family a lot more these days. I was surprised to find myself patiently helping my daughter with her homework, and actually liking it! This was new for me. I guess I must have missed them very, very much! Or maybe this sickness is slowly making me a better person. I think it is both.

Oh yes, I have also been remiss in checking and answering emails and facebook posts. Sorry for the long silence. Hope you understand. Please keep writing though, because I always enjoy hearing from friends and family - who doesn't?

I had another blood test yesterday, and the numbers were great! My white blood cell count, platelets and ANCs were within normal range. My hemoglobin was a little low but not low enough to require a blood transfusion. And what prize I get for having such good blood test results? A biopsy! :-( Of course, I made sure that I had morphine to numb the pain. The morphine knocked me out most of the day yesterday. I told my sister to slap me awake if I start singing at the doctor's office. I'd rather be slapped by my sister than by another patient when they hear me singing!

The doctor's office has scheduled a consultation with a bone marrow transplant doctor at the City of Hope next week, then another consultation with my oncologist the following day. The purpose is to discuss the potential next steps after my next chemo - whether to have more chemo treatments or to have a bone marrow transplant. In America, it is very important for the patient to be fully aware of the advantages and risks involved in a medical procedure. In the case of a bone marrow transplant, there are many advantages but also significant risks with the worst case scenario of potential death due to rejection of the "foreign" stem cell. At this stage, because I am in the intermediate level of risk, meaning not necessarily curable by chemo alone nor absolutely needing a bone marrow transplant, the doctor wanted me to be fully aware of the pros and cons and give us the option of choosing which way we want to go. I would prefer to just have chemo to keep things simple, but I do not know whether that will be the thing best for me. Only God knows what is best, so please pray that God will give both doctors - my oncologist and the bone marrow transplant doctor - the wisdom to give the right recommendation. Even if the choice is up to us, we will still want to follow the doctors' recommendation.

The next chemo treatment has not been scheduled yet, but it should happen in a week or so. The doctor's office is having difficulty finding a Home Health company that is covered by my insurance and also has a nurse who is licensed to administer chemo at home. If they can't find anyone, I will have my next round of chemo at the hospital. The next round consists of 3 alternate days of 24-hour sessions. This means I may have to be in the hospital again for 6 days to include the time spent during admission and discharge. It will be more convenient to have the chemo at home, but I am not sure if it is the best for the family. Once again, I pray that God will work out all the details for the next round of chemo.

Thanks to all your prayers, our family and my sister continue to be in good spirits. My body also seems to be responding well to the treatment. I am very grateful for all the prayers that have been offered on our behalf. We are a living proof that God answers prayers. He continues to be a gracious and loving Father to us all, and will never give us more than we can bear. God has His reasons for allowing us to go through this trial. Even now, our family is also being blessed through it. I have learned so much during this journey, and I hope to come out of this a much better person with a clearer understanding of what is truly important in life, and to live my life with a purpose that goes beyond this lifetime.

Thank you for your prayers and may God bless you all!

9/20/09 - Enjoying Family Time

Now that I am home, I am spending a lot of time with the family. As you can imagine, we missed each other a lot, so we tend to do many more things together at home. Yesterday, we celebrated Ellie's birthday again with a round of miniature golf and ice cream. This was to make up for missing the roller skating celebration. We're finally done celebrating Ellie's birthday. It was fun for all of us. Considering how simple the celebrations are, it actually made her feel extra-special because it ran for many weeks. Maybe we should do this more often - celebrate life more often in simple ways rather than waiting for big celebrations.

As you know, my sister is here from Manila to help us out, so I also spend time catching up with her and just enjoying her company. I try to get more rest during the day and go to bed earlier. In the meantime, I also try to make heads and tails out of all the insurance statements and match them against invoices from healthcare providers. This took much time during the first few days at home. I also try to help with things around the house to give my sister and my husband a hand so they don't get worn out. Don't worry, I try not to overdo it, and has been successful most days. I know I can no longer be Superwoman. Now I am content being Wonder Woman - wondering what I will do next and wondering how much I can handle.

I hope you understand why I will not be posting to my blog everyday anymore. There's not much news these days anyway. However, I will continue to keep you posted on developments on my end.

This week will be a bit busy for me. I will get a Neupogen shot on Monday and Tuesday, then a blood test and biopsy on Thursday or Friday.

Please continue to pray for the recovery of my bone marrow, and that it will continue to produce only good cells. Also please continue to pray for me and my family, that we will persevere and remain happy as we go through this journey.

Thank you for your continued prayers and may God bless you all!

9/18/2009 - Blood Test Results

I had another blood test at my doctor's office today. The white blood cell count has gone down to 1.9 and ANC down to 0.9 (neutropenic again). To increase my ANC, I was given another shot of Neupogen to boost the blood count. Another shot will be given on Monday, and another one on Tuesday. Boy, am I glad I didn't go on a diet before getting sick. Right now, I'm loving the fat in my tummy. No tummy tuck for me!

I am scheduled to have another blood test and biopsy next Thursday or Friday. Based on the result, the next chemo may start in a few days or in a week. The next chemo will be administered at home by a nurse.

We are still waiting for the appointment with the bone marrow transplant doctor to discuss the pros and cons of the procedure and hear his/her recommendation. We received the result of the cell match done with my sister. There is a 60-67% cell match. She cannot be a donor, because the City of Hope only allows 100% match for a bone marrow tranplant. This means that my brother and 4 other sisters may have to be tested for cell match. Each of them has 25% chance of being a cell match.

Please pray that my body and bone marrow will get stronger in preparation for the next chemo. Please also pray for my bone marrow's recovery, and that it will only produce good cells. My self-imposed curfew is coming up, so I'll have to end here.

Thank you all for your prayers and God bless you all!

9/17/09 - Early to Rise

I had a very nice day. My best friend came to visit with lots of goodies for us. She is a very busy person, but she still took the time to do errands and cook or bring food for us. I am so lucky to have such a good friend. I also enjoyed much family time today. It was fun to be able to goof around with the kids again.

I have an 8:45am appointment to have my blood drawn at my oncologist's office, followed by a consultation with the doctor. It is getting late so I have to get my beauty sleep now. With so little hair, I could use all the help I can get to stay beautiful. :-) Besides, it may make the blood test results better tomorrow.

Please continue to pray for me and my family. Thank you for your prayers and may God bless you all!

9/16/2009 - Early to Bed

One of my sisters informed me just now that I should sleep early because by 11pm, detoxification of the organs starts happening, and by midnight, the bone marrow produces blood. I didn't want people to worry if there is no blog from me today, so I just want to let you know that I am okay, but didn't have time to write anything yet. It is more important for me to get ready for bed now. I will post more updates tomorrow, but at an earlier time.

Thank you all for your prayers and God bless you!

9/15/09 - Day of Rest

After the busy day yesterday, I got a little concerned when I realized that I might have overdone it. I spent most of the day sleeping and relaxing just to recover from the last few days' lack of sleep and activities. I shall keep this short for today and get some more rest.

Thank you for your prayers and God bless you all!

9/14/09 - Getting Enough Rest

Five weeks is a long time to be away from home. It is really great to be home. The hard part is reminding myself that I am still sick and to stop myself from doing too much. I got a call this morning from Tita Seny who warned me about it, but at that time, I still didn't realize how big of a challenge it was going to be. By the end of the day, I knew that my biggest challenge in the coming weeks is to make sure I get enough rest. Time to ask for help. I asked my sister to be my police so I don't forget to rest.

I was able to bring my kids to school and pick them up. We also went to the supermarket to stock up on food, and got a new hat for myself from a store. The school is less than 5 minutes from our house and the stores are also just a short drive from our house. We're blessed to live in a quiet neighborhood that's conveniently located. In times like these, every convenience helps.

Just when I realized that I may be too tired to even prepare a simple dinner, we got a text message from Bessie saying that she'll be bringing us some pasta tonight. What a blessing! We all liked the pasta, too!

My hair is starting to grow back! I got tired of wearing a cap at home when the kids are around and finally convinced my daughters that it is not so bad to see their mommy without a cap. My hair is starting to look more like Rob's buzz cut. My sister, Verna, says that it reminds her of Chia Pets. Maybe if I water my scalp more often, my hair will grow faster? :-) And Bessie says that it makes her think of wheat grass. Anybody for a shot of fresh grown hair? :-)

That's it for today. Time to get some rest. Please continue to pray for me and my family. Thank you all for your prayers and may God bless you all!

9/13/09 - Next Challenge

All my numbers went up yesterday. My ANC jumped from 900 to 3600, which means I am no longer neutropenic. White blood cells went up from 2.0 to 5.2, which puts it within normal range. Hemoglobin was also up. Just to be on the safe side, I was given another shot of Neupogen through my nicely insulated tummy. :-) This will hopefully keep me within a safe range while I am at home. It is actually better to have had the biopsy and the shots. There is now less risk of getting an infection or needing another blood transfusion. God really knows what is best.

I will have my blood tested next week, followed by another biopsy the following week. The next round of chemo will start a few days or a week later depending on the result of the biopsy. This time, it will be done at home. A nurse will come to our house to administer the drugs through IV. The chemo will last 3 days and the drugs will be stronger, but it is supposed to be less intense compared to the first chemo. My sister, Verna, and I are on a mission to make my body stronger in preparation for the next chemo. In addition to keeping my blood count up, my body needs much repair work: we need to improve my liver, kidneys, create good bacteria in my body and improve my overall health. Please pray that my blood count will not go down in the coming days, that my body will get stronger while getting ready for the next chemo, that my bone marrow will keep producing only good cells, and that there will not be any side effects or complications with the next chemo.

Yesterday, I was allowed to go home by mid-morning, but since Rob won't be able to pick me up until late afternoon, I took my time in getting ready to go leave. We encountered some delays at the hospital, so we didn't get home until the evening. It was so nice to finally come home!

Rob and the kids went roller skating with their friends as part of Ellie's birthday celebration. Next week, we'll all go for miniature golf. Ellie's having an extended birthday celebration. Given our situation, we had to scheduled little celebrations over a couple of weeks rather than a more elaborate one in a few days. It seems to be working out great.

This is my first full day at home. Even if I didn't get enough sleep last night, I felt strong enough to go to church with the family. We have much to be thankful for! A nurse from Home Health came to do some things and also showed me how to take care of the catheter. Yes, I will stay a "cyborg" until all my chemo treatments are done. We spent the rest of the day enjoying each other's company at home. Katie and Ellie were so animated and happy! There was much hugging and kissing all around. I guess we all realized that what we used to take for granted is actually a precious gift from God.

Please continue to pray for me and my family. As always, we thank you for your prayers and all the ways you have been helping us through this journey. May God bless you all!

9/12/09 - Home Sweet Home

I'm home! Finally! Yehey! Thank you, Lord!

We're all very happy! Katie and Ellie are watching me type and don't want to go to bed. It's late so I better keep this short. Besides, I'm tired. I was too excited about coming home to have a good night's sleep last night. I'm sleepy now. I will give more updates tomorrow. Good night!

Thank you all for your prayers, and God bless you all!

9/11/09 - Going home this weekend

The numbers went up today, but the ANC was 0.9 - still not good enough. The biopsy results were good, so I got my Neupogen shot. This was supposed to speed up my cell production and make all the numbers go up quickly. I will have another one tomorrow, so I will be discharged either tomorrow or Sunday, at the latest. Woohoo!

This is one instance when I am really glad I have fat in my body. The Neupogen shot had to be given through the skin. The fluid is thick so the nurse offered to give the shot either on the arm or the tummy. One of the nurses I befriended here happened to visit me when I was about to be given the shot. She advised me to take it on the tummy, because it is less painful. She also suggested picking the fattier portion of the tummy. Apparently, the fluid goes in more easily if it passes through fattier portions of the body. Looking for fat in my tummy is certainly not a problem for me! In moments like these, I realize that there are some advantages in having fat. I will try not to use it as another excuse not to exercise, but it may be tough. :-)

My family was very happy to know that I will be going home this weekend. My kids asked if it is for certain this time, and I am glad to let them know that we're sure it will be this weekend. Hopefully tomorrow afternoon, but Sunday at the latest. We're all very excited about it.

I better get ready for bed now. Tomorrow will be a busy day if I will be discharged: getting my second Neupogen shot, final packing, getting pages of instructions on what to do and what to watch out for when I'm at home, and papers to sign.

Thank you all for your continued prayers and support, and may God bless you all!

9/10/09 - Not Home Yet

I prayed really hard last night that I may be able to go home today. My blood was drawn at 5am. The doctor came at 7am and said that although my ANC went up to 700, it is not high enough to send me home (1000 is the magic number). I had a biopsy this morning. I was given morphine to numb the pain, so it was not so painful. Now, I only feel the discomfort of the bruise. It takes a couple of days for it to go away.

I would have liked to go home today, but God has something better for me. I do not know exactly why He did not let me go home today, but I can think of a few reasons why it may be better for me to have a biopsy than to go home. The nice thing about having a loving God is the assurance that He only has my best interest at heart. He will not give me anything that is not going to be good for me, even if I keep asking for it. Would a parent give a child a knife to play with even if he begged for it with tears?

The morphine knocked me out the whole morning, so I had a very short day today. My family was disappointed that I won't be coming home, but they understand that it is best for me to stay. They came for a short visit this evening. Ellie got more gifts from her godmother. She also got the Zhu Zhu pet she's been eagerly waiting for. She is one happy girl.

The girls had their first day of school. Katie was happy to see her old friends and Ellie also saw some of her old friends, but was most happy see her teacher. She really likes her kindergarten teacher who's now their first grade teacher. Robert dropped them off in the morning and my sister picked them up after school. Once again, I am so glad to have my sister here to help us out during this time. She is a tremendous help and a huge blessing to our family.

We will know the result of the biopsy tomorrow afternoon. If the result shows that there are no bad cells, I will be given a shot to speed up the cell production and I can go home this weekend. Otherwise, I will be given another round of chemo. Our hope is that the biopsy will show only good cells so that I can go home soon.

That's all for today. Please pray that the results of the biopsy will be good, so that I can go home soon. Thank you all for your prayers and may God bless you all!

9/9/09 - Still Here

Yes, I'm still here. I did not sleep well at all last night. Maybe I was too excited about going home. When I was rudely awakened by a housekeeping staff this morning, I was so tired my first thoughts were: Hey, I could be going home today. That means I have to pack. I think I'd rather sleep some more. Maybe that's why I'm still here. :-)

The numbers came down just a bit today, but my ANC went down to 600. My oncologist said that it is not uncommon to have fluctuations. Here's the next plan of action: at 7am tomorrow, if my ANC go back up to 1.0, I will be discharged. Otherwise, I will be having a biopsy. So, I will sleep early tonight, pray really hard, and hope that I will be going home tomorrow. I am already partially packed just to speed things up a bit - can't wait to get out of here! No offense to the wonderful people who work here and the nice facilities, but there's no place like home.

We had a repeat celebration for Ellie tonight in my room. This time, Katie and my sister were able to join us. Ellie was happy to have another chance to blow out the candles and make a wish. We had the birthday cake while watching Kung Fu Panda. It was another simple, but fun celebration. I am often surprised at how easy it is to please children. They are so precious.

That's it for today. Going to get ready for bed now. Please pray really hard that my numbers will go up again so that I will be able to go home tomorrow. Thank you all for your prayers and support, and may God bless you all!

9/8/09 - Going Home?

What a day! As expected, my oncologist called me early this morning to let me know that unless my numbers go up significantly today, I'll have another biopsy by 1pm to know if I can be given a shot to speed up the white cell production. I asked the doctor if the antibiotics could have suppressed the cell production, hoping that stopping the antibiotics yesterday would allow the cells to grow faster. Her answer was that anything is possible, but it is unlikely.

By mid-morning, all the stuff needed for biopsy were already in my room - a scary sight to me. Then, I got another call from the doctor to let me know that my numbers did go up significantly today, so there's no longer a need for a biopsy. That's great news! How high did the numbers go? My white blood count went up to 2.0, ANC was close to 1.0 and hemoglobin went up to 10.2 - all the right numbers to give me a ticket home! Normally, I would have been discharged today, but because my numbers had gone down before, the doctor wanted to keep me here for another day to make sure it doesn't happen again this time. So, if my numbers stay the same or go up tomorrow, I will be home by tomorrow night. Woohoo! My numbers never went up by so much since I came in. We still don't how that happened yesterday, but all I know is that with God, anything is possible!

My eldest daughter, Katie, had a bad case of constipation and stomach ache in the afternoon. Thank God my sister is here to take care of my kids, and that our pediatrician who is also a close friend of ours was at home to take my calls. Although Katie was excited to give Ellie her gift this evening, she didn't feel well enough to join the celebration in the hospital. My sister stayed at home with her while Rob and Ellie came to the hospital to celebrate Ellie's birthday. We'll just have to have another celebration at home with everybody. We were all relieved to know that Katie was feeling much better by 9pm.

Even if Ellie was sad to see her sister suffer, she still had a nice day overall. My sister, Verna, took the kids out for lunch and fancy yogurt, and also let Ellie pick her own birthday cake. Bessie was nice enough to get balloons, chocolate cake and a gift for the birthday girl. Rob and Ellie brought the dinner (Ellie's choice), cake, balloons and gift to my room, and the three of us celebrated there. I put up a banner for Ellie in my room using hospital materials to make the place look a little more festive. We missed having Katie and Verna with us in the hospital, but it still turned out to be a happy celebration - the birthday girl was very happy.

That's it for today. Please pray that the numbers will stay where they are or go up tomorrow so I can finally go home. We are all very excited. As always, thank you for your prayer and support, and may God bless you all.