Hello, everyone! It has been a while since I gave any updates. Until yesterday, everything was pretty much the same except that I enjoy my time with the family a lot more these days. I was surprised to find myself patiently helping my daughter with her homework, and actually liking it! This was new for me. I guess I must have missed them very, very much! Or maybe this sickness is slowly making me a better person. I think it is both.
Oh yes, I have also been remiss in checking and answering emails and facebook posts. Sorry for the long silence. Hope you understand. Please keep writing though, because I always enjoy hearing from friends and family - who doesn't?
I had another blood test yesterday, and the numbers were great! My white blood cell count, platelets and ANCs were within normal range. My hemoglobin was a little low but not low enough to require a blood transfusion. And what prize I get for having such good blood test results? A biopsy! :-( Of course, I made sure that I had morphine to numb the pain. The morphine knocked me out most of the day yesterday. I told my sister to slap me awake if I start singing at the doctor's office. I'd rather be slapped by my sister than by another patient when they hear me singing!
The doctor's office has scheduled a consultation with a bone marrow transplant doctor at the City of Hope next week, then another consultation with my oncologist the following day. The purpose is to discuss the potential next steps after my next chemo - whether to have more chemo treatments or to have a bone marrow transplant. In America, it is very important for the patient to be fully aware of the advantages and risks involved in a medical procedure. In the case of a bone marrow transplant, there are many advantages but also significant risks with the worst case scenario of potential death due to rejection of the "foreign" stem cell. At this stage, because I am in the intermediate level of risk, meaning not necessarily curable by chemo alone nor absolutely needing a bone marrow transplant, the doctor wanted me to be fully aware of the pros and cons and give us the option of choosing which way we want to go. I would prefer to just have chemo to keep things simple, but I do not know whether that will be the thing best for me. Only God knows what is best, so please pray that God will give both doctors - my oncologist and the bone marrow transplant doctor - the wisdom to give the right recommendation. Even if the choice is up to us, we will still want to follow the doctors' recommendation.
The next chemo treatment has not been scheduled yet, but it should happen in a week or so. The doctor's office is having difficulty finding a Home Health company that is covered by my insurance and also has a nurse who is licensed to administer chemo at home. If they can't find anyone, I will have my next round of chemo at the hospital. The next round consists of 3 alternate days of 24-hour sessions. This means I may have to be in the hospital again for 6 days to include the time spent during admission and discharge. It will be more convenient to have the chemo at home, but I am not sure if it is the best for the family. Once again, I pray that God will work out all the details for the next round of chemo.
Thanks to all your prayers, our family and my sister continue to be in good spirits. My body also seems to be responding well to the treatment. I am very grateful for all the prayers that have been offered on our behalf. We are a living proof that God answers prayers. He continues to be a gracious and loving Father to us all, and will never give us more than we can bear. God has His reasons for allowing us to go through this trial. Even now, our family is also being blessed through it. I have learned so much during this journey, and I hope to come out of this a much better person with a clearer understanding of what is truly important in life, and to live my life with a purpose that goes beyond this lifetime.
Thank you for your prayers and may God bless you all!
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Sunday, September 20, 2009
9/20/09 - Enjoying Family Time
Now that I am home, I am spending a lot of time with the family. As you can imagine, we missed each other a lot, so we tend to do many more things together at home. Yesterday, we celebrated Ellie's birthday again with a round of miniature golf and ice cream. This was to make up for missing the roller skating celebration. We're finally done celebrating Ellie's birthday. It was fun for all of us. Considering how simple the celebrations are, it actually made her feel extra-special because it ran for many weeks. Maybe we should do this more often - celebrate life more often in simple ways rather than waiting for big celebrations.
As you know, my sister is here from Manila to help us out, so I also spend time catching up with her and just enjoying her company. I try to get more rest during the day and go to bed earlier. In the meantime, I also try to make heads and tails out of all the insurance statements and match them against invoices from healthcare providers. This took much time during the first few days at home. I also try to help with things around the house to give my sister and my husband a hand so they don't get worn out. Don't worry, I try not to overdo it, and has been successful most days. I know I can no longer be Superwoman. Now I am content being Wonder Woman - wondering what I will do next and wondering how much I can handle.
I hope you understand why I will not be posting to my blog everyday anymore. There's not much news these days anyway. However, I will continue to keep you posted on developments on my end.
This week will be a bit busy for me. I will get a Neupogen shot on Monday and Tuesday, then a blood test and biopsy on Thursday or Friday.
Please continue to pray for the recovery of my bone marrow, and that it will continue to produce only good cells. Also please continue to pray for me and my family, that we will persevere and remain happy as we go through this journey.
Thank you for your continued prayers and may God bless you all!
As you know, my sister is here from Manila to help us out, so I also spend time catching up with her and just enjoying her company. I try to get more rest during the day and go to bed earlier. In the meantime, I also try to make heads and tails out of all the insurance statements and match them against invoices from healthcare providers. This took much time during the first few days at home. I also try to help with things around the house to give my sister and my husband a hand so they don't get worn out. Don't worry, I try not to overdo it, and has been successful most days. I know I can no longer be Superwoman. Now I am content being Wonder Woman - wondering what I will do next and wondering how much I can handle.
I hope you understand why I will not be posting to my blog everyday anymore. There's not much news these days anyway. However, I will continue to keep you posted on developments on my end.
This week will be a bit busy for me. I will get a Neupogen shot on Monday and Tuesday, then a blood test and biopsy on Thursday or Friday.
Please continue to pray for the recovery of my bone marrow, and that it will continue to produce only good cells. Also please continue to pray for me and my family, that we will persevere and remain happy as we go through this journey.
Thank you for your continued prayers and may God bless you all!
Friday, September 18, 2009
9/18/2009 - Blood Test Results
I had another blood test at my doctor's office today. The white blood cell count has gone down to 1.9 and ANC down to 0.9 (neutropenic again). To increase my ANC, I was given another shot of Neupogen to boost the blood count. Another shot will be given on Monday, and another one on Tuesday. Boy, am I glad I didn't go on a diet before getting sick. Right now, I'm loving the fat in my tummy. No tummy tuck for me!
I am scheduled to have another blood test and biopsy next Thursday or Friday. Based on the result, the next chemo may start in a few days or in a week. The next chemo will be administered at home by a nurse.
We are still waiting for the appointment with the bone marrow transplant doctor to discuss the pros and cons of the procedure and hear his/her recommendation. We received the result of the cell match done with my sister. There is a 60-67% cell match. She cannot be a donor, because the City of Hope only allows 100% match for a bone marrow tranplant. This means that my brother and 4 other sisters may have to be tested for cell match. Each of them has 25% chance of being a cell match.
Please pray that my body and bone marrow will get stronger in preparation for the next chemo. Please also pray for my bone marrow's recovery, and that it will only produce good cells. My self-imposed curfew is coming up, so I'll have to end here.
Thank you all for your prayers and God bless you all!
I am scheduled to have another blood test and biopsy next Thursday or Friday. Based on the result, the next chemo may start in a few days or in a week. The next chemo will be administered at home by a nurse.
We are still waiting for the appointment with the bone marrow transplant doctor to discuss the pros and cons of the procedure and hear his/her recommendation. We received the result of the cell match done with my sister. There is a 60-67% cell match. She cannot be a donor, because the City of Hope only allows 100% match for a bone marrow tranplant. This means that my brother and 4 other sisters may have to be tested for cell match. Each of them has 25% chance of being a cell match.
Please pray that my body and bone marrow will get stronger in preparation for the next chemo. Please also pray for my bone marrow's recovery, and that it will only produce good cells. My self-imposed curfew is coming up, so I'll have to end here.
Thank you all for your prayers and God bless you all!
Thursday, September 17, 2009
9/17/09 - Early to Rise
I had a very nice day. My best friend came to visit with lots of goodies for us. She is a very busy person, but she still took the time to do errands and cook or bring food for us. I am so lucky to have such a good friend. I also enjoyed much family time today. It was fun to be able to goof around with the kids again.
I have an 8:45am appointment to have my blood drawn at my oncologist's office, followed by a consultation with the doctor. It is getting late so I have to get my beauty sleep now. With so little hair, I could use all the help I can get to stay beautiful. :-) Besides, it may make the blood test results better tomorrow.
Please continue to pray for me and my family. Thank you for your prayers and may God bless you all!
I have an 8:45am appointment to have my blood drawn at my oncologist's office, followed by a consultation with the doctor. It is getting late so I have to get my beauty sleep now. With so little hair, I could use all the help I can get to stay beautiful. :-) Besides, it may make the blood test results better tomorrow.
Please continue to pray for me and my family. Thank you for your prayers and may God bless you all!
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
9/16/2009 - Early to Bed
One of my sisters informed me just now that I should sleep early because by 11pm, detoxification of the organs starts happening, and by midnight, the bone marrow produces blood. I didn't want people to worry if there is no blog from me today, so I just want to let you know that I am okay, but didn't have time to write anything yet. It is more important for me to get ready for bed now. I will post more updates tomorrow, but at an earlier time.
Thank you all for your prayers and God bless you!
Thank you all for your prayers and God bless you!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
9/15/09 - Day of Rest
After the busy day yesterday, I got a little concerned when I realized that I might have overdone it. I spent most of the day sleeping and relaxing just to recover from the last few days' lack of sleep and activities. I shall keep this short for today and get some more rest.
Thank you for your prayers and God bless you all!
Thank you for your prayers and God bless you all!
Monday, September 14, 2009
9/14/09 - Getting Enough Rest
Five weeks is a long time to be away from home. It is really great to be home. The hard part is reminding myself that I am still sick and to stop myself from doing too much. I got a call this morning from Tita Seny who warned me about it, but at that time, I still didn't realize how big of a challenge it was going to be. By the end of the day, I knew that my biggest challenge in the coming weeks is to make sure I get enough rest. Time to ask for help. I asked my sister to be my police so I don't forget to rest.
I was able to bring my kids to school and pick them up. We also went to the supermarket to stock up on food, and got a new hat for myself from a store. The school is less than 5 minutes from our house and the stores are also just a short drive from our house. We're blessed to live in a quiet neighborhood that's conveniently located. In times like these, every convenience helps.
Just when I realized that I may be too tired to even prepare a simple dinner, we got a text message from Bessie saying that she'll be bringing us some pasta tonight. What a blessing! We all liked the pasta, too!
My hair is starting to grow back! I got tired of wearing a cap at home when the kids are around and finally convinced my daughters that it is not so bad to see their mommy without a cap. My hair is starting to look more like Rob's buzz cut. My sister, Verna, says that it reminds her of Chia Pets. Maybe if I water my scalp more often, my hair will grow faster? :-) And Bessie says that it makes her think of wheat grass. Anybody for a shot of fresh grown hair? :-)
That's it for today. Time to get some rest. Please continue to pray for me and my family. Thank you all for your prayers and may God bless you all!
I was able to bring my kids to school and pick them up. We also went to the supermarket to stock up on food, and got a new hat for myself from a store. The school is less than 5 minutes from our house and the stores are also just a short drive from our house. We're blessed to live in a quiet neighborhood that's conveniently located. In times like these, every convenience helps.
Just when I realized that I may be too tired to even prepare a simple dinner, we got a text message from Bessie saying that she'll be bringing us some pasta tonight. What a blessing! We all liked the pasta, too!
My hair is starting to grow back! I got tired of wearing a cap at home when the kids are around and finally convinced my daughters that it is not so bad to see their mommy without a cap. My hair is starting to look more like Rob's buzz cut. My sister, Verna, says that it reminds her of Chia Pets. Maybe if I water my scalp more often, my hair will grow faster? :-) And Bessie says that it makes her think of wheat grass. Anybody for a shot of fresh grown hair? :-)
That's it for today. Time to get some rest. Please continue to pray for me and my family. Thank you all for your prayers and may God bless you all!
Sunday, September 13, 2009
9/13/09 - Next Challenge
All my numbers went up yesterday. My ANC jumped from 900 to 3600, which means I am no longer neutropenic. White blood cells went up from 2.0 to 5.2, which puts it within normal range. Hemoglobin was also up. Just to be on the safe side, I was given another shot of Neupogen through my nicely insulated tummy. :-) This will hopefully keep me within a safe range while I am at home. It is actually better to have had the biopsy and the shots. There is now less risk of getting an infection or needing another blood transfusion. God really knows what is best.
I will have my blood tested next week, followed by another biopsy the following week. The next round of chemo will start a few days or a week later depending on the result of the biopsy. This time, it will be done at home. A nurse will come to our house to administer the drugs through IV. The chemo will last 3 days and the drugs will be stronger, but it is supposed to be less intense compared to the first chemo. My sister, Verna, and I are on a mission to make my body stronger in preparation for the next chemo. In addition to keeping my blood count up, my body needs much repair work: we need to improve my liver, kidneys, create good bacteria in my body and improve my overall health. Please pray that my blood count will not go down in the coming days, that my body will get stronger while getting ready for the next chemo, that my bone marrow will keep producing only good cells, and that there will not be any side effects or complications with the next chemo.
Yesterday, I was allowed to go home by mid-morning, but since Rob won't be able to pick me up until late afternoon, I took my time in getting ready to go leave. We encountered some delays at the hospital, so we didn't get home until the evening. It was so nice to finally come home!
Rob and the kids went roller skating with their friends as part of Ellie's birthday celebration. Next week, we'll all go for miniature golf. Ellie's having an extended birthday celebration. Given our situation, we had to scheduled little celebrations over a couple of weeks rather than a more elaborate one in a few days. It seems to be working out great.
This is my first full day at home. Even if I didn't get enough sleep last night, I felt strong enough to go to church with the family. We have much to be thankful for! A nurse from Home Health came to do some things and also showed me how to take care of the catheter. Yes, I will stay a "cyborg" until all my chemo treatments are done. We spent the rest of the day enjoying each other's company at home. Katie and Ellie were so animated and happy! There was much hugging and kissing all around. I guess we all realized that what we used to take for granted is actually a precious gift from God.
Please continue to pray for me and my family. As always, we thank you for your prayers and all the ways you have been helping us through this journey. May God bless you all!
I will have my blood tested next week, followed by another biopsy the following week. The next round of chemo will start a few days or a week later depending on the result of the biopsy. This time, it will be done at home. A nurse will come to our house to administer the drugs through IV. The chemo will last 3 days and the drugs will be stronger, but it is supposed to be less intense compared to the first chemo. My sister, Verna, and I are on a mission to make my body stronger in preparation for the next chemo. In addition to keeping my blood count up, my body needs much repair work: we need to improve my liver, kidneys, create good bacteria in my body and improve my overall health. Please pray that my blood count will not go down in the coming days, that my body will get stronger while getting ready for the next chemo, that my bone marrow will keep producing only good cells, and that there will not be any side effects or complications with the next chemo.
Yesterday, I was allowed to go home by mid-morning, but since Rob won't be able to pick me up until late afternoon, I took my time in getting ready to go leave. We encountered some delays at the hospital, so we didn't get home until the evening. It was so nice to finally come home!
Rob and the kids went roller skating with their friends as part of Ellie's birthday celebration. Next week, we'll all go for miniature golf. Ellie's having an extended birthday celebration. Given our situation, we had to scheduled little celebrations over a couple of weeks rather than a more elaborate one in a few days. It seems to be working out great.
This is my first full day at home. Even if I didn't get enough sleep last night, I felt strong enough to go to church with the family. We have much to be thankful for! A nurse from Home Health came to do some things and also showed me how to take care of the catheter. Yes, I will stay a "cyborg" until all my chemo treatments are done. We spent the rest of the day enjoying each other's company at home. Katie and Ellie were so animated and happy! There was much hugging and kissing all around. I guess we all realized that what we used to take for granted is actually a precious gift from God.
Please continue to pray for me and my family. As always, we thank you for your prayers and all the ways you have been helping us through this journey. May God bless you all!
Saturday, September 12, 2009
9/12/09 - Home Sweet Home
I'm home! Finally! Yehey! Thank you, Lord!
We're all very happy! Katie and Ellie are watching me type and don't want to go to bed. It's late so I better keep this short. Besides, I'm tired. I was too excited about coming home to have a good night's sleep last night. I'm sleepy now. I will give more updates tomorrow. Good night!
Thank you all for your prayers, and God bless you all!
We're all very happy! Katie and Ellie are watching me type and don't want to go to bed. It's late so I better keep this short. Besides, I'm tired. I was too excited about coming home to have a good night's sleep last night. I'm sleepy now. I will give more updates tomorrow. Good night!
Thank you all for your prayers, and God bless you all!
Friday, September 11, 2009
9/11/09 - Going home this weekend
The numbers went up today, but the ANC was 0.9 - still not good enough. The biopsy results were good, so I got my Neupogen shot. This was supposed to speed up my cell production and make all the numbers go up quickly. I will have another one tomorrow, so I will be discharged either tomorrow or Sunday, at the latest. Woohoo!
This is one instance when I am really glad I have fat in my body. The Neupogen shot had to be given through the skin. The fluid is thick so the nurse offered to give the shot either on the arm or the tummy. One of the nurses I befriended here happened to visit me when I was about to be given the shot. She advised me to take it on the tummy, because it is less painful. She also suggested picking the fattier portion of the tummy. Apparently, the fluid goes in more easily if it passes through fattier portions of the body. Looking for fat in my tummy is certainly not a problem for me! In moments like these, I realize that there are some advantages in having fat. I will try not to use it as another excuse not to exercise, but it may be tough. :-)
My family was very happy to know that I will be going home this weekend. My kids asked if it is for certain this time, and I am glad to let them know that we're sure it will be this weekend. Hopefully tomorrow afternoon, but Sunday at the latest. We're all very excited about it.
I better get ready for bed now. Tomorrow will be a busy day if I will be discharged: getting my second Neupogen shot, final packing, getting pages of instructions on what to do and what to watch out for when I'm at home, and papers to sign.
Thank you all for your continued prayers and support, and may God bless you all!
This is one instance when I am really glad I have fat in my body. The Neupogen shot had to be given through the skin. The fluid is thick so the nurse offered to give the shot either on the arm or the tummy. One of the nurses I befriended here happened to visit me when I was about to be given the shot. She advised me to take it on the tummy, because it is less painful. She also suggested picking the fattier portion of the tummy. Apparently, the fluid goes in more easily if it passes through fattier portions of the body. Looking for fat in my tummy is certainly not a problem for me! In moments like these, I realize that there are some advantages in having fat. I will try not to use it as another excuse not to exercise, but it may be tough. :-)
My family was very happy to know that I will be going home this weekend. My kids asked if it is for certain this time, and I am glad to let them know that we're sure it will be this weekend. Hopefully tomorrow afternoon, but Sunday at the latest. We're all very excited about it.
I better get ready for bed now. Tomorrow will be a busy day if I will be discharged: getting my second Neupogen shot, final packing, getting pages of instructions on what to do and what to watch out for when I'm at home, and papers to sign.
Thank you all for your continued prayers and support, and may God bless you all!
Thursday, September 10, 2009
9/10/09 - Not Home Yet
I prayed really hard last night that I may be able to go home today. My blood was drawn at 5am. The doctor came at 7am and said that although my ANC went up to 700, it is not high enough to send me home (1000 is the magic number). I had a biopsy this morning. I was given morphine to numb the pain, so it was not so painful. Now, I only feel the discomfort of the bruise. It takes a couple of days for it to go away.
I would have liked to go home today, but God has something better for me. I do not know exactly why He did not let me go home today, but I can think of a few reasons why it may be better for me to have a biopsy than to go home. The nice thing about having a loving God is the assurance that He only has my best interest at heart. He will not give me anything that is not going to be good for me, even if I keep asking for it. Would a parent give a child a knife to play with even if he begged for it with tears?
The morphine knocked me out the whole morning, so I had a very short day today. My family was disappointed that I won't be coming home, but they understand that it is best for me to stay. They came for a short visit this evening. Ellie got more gifts from her godmother. She also got the Zhu Zhu pet she's been eagerly waiting for. She is one happy girl.
The girls had their first day of school. Katie was happy to see her old friends and Ellie also saw some of her old friends, but was most happy see her teacher. She really likes her kindergarten teacher who's now their first grade teacher. Robert dropped them off in the morning and my sister picked them up after school. Once again, I am so glad to have my sister here to help us out during this time. She is a tremendous help and a huge blessing to our family.
We will know the result of the biopsy tomorrow afternoon. If the result shows that there are no bad cells, I will be given a shot to speed up the cell production and I can go home this weekend. Otherwise, I will be given another round of chemo. Our hope is that the biopsy will show only good cells so that I can go home soon.
That's all for today. Please pray that the results of the biopsy will be good, so that I can go home soon. Thank you all for your prayers and may God bless you all!
I would have liked to go home today, but God has something better for me. I do not know exactly why He did not let me go home today, but I can think of a few reasons why it may be better for me to have a biopsy than to go home. The nice thing about having a loving God is the assurance that He only has my best interest at heart. He will not give me anything that is not going to be good for me, even if I keep asking for it. Would a parent give a child a knife to play with even if he begged for it with tears?
The morphine knocked me out the whole morning, so I had a very short day today. My family was disappointed that I won't be coming home, but they understand that it is best for me to stay. They came for a short visit this evening. Ellie got more gifts from her godmother. She also got the Zhu Zhu pet she's been eagerly waiting for. She is one happy girl.
The girls had their first day of school. Katie was happy to see her old friends and Ellie also saw some of her old friends, but was most happy see her teacher. She really likes her kindergarten teacher who's now their first grade teacher. Robert dropped them off in the morning and my sister picked them up after school. Once again, I am so glad to have my sister here to help us out during this time. She is a tremendous help and a huge blessing to our family.
We will know the result of the biopsy tomorrow afternoon. If the result shows that there are no bad cells, I will be given a shot to speed up the cell production and I can go home this weekend. Otherwise, I will be given another round of chemo. Our hope is that the biopsy will show only good cells so that I can go home soon.
That's all for today. Please pray that the results of the biopsy will be good, so that I can go home soon. Thank you all for your prayers and may God bless you all!
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
9/9/09 - Still Here
Yes, I'm still here. I did not sleep well at all last night. Maybe I was too excited about going home. When I was rudely awakened by a housekeeping staff this morning, I was so tired my first thoughts were: Hey, I could be going home today. That means I have to pack. I think I'd rather sleep some more. Maybe that's why I'm still here. :-)
The numbers came down just a bit today, but my ANC went down to 600. My oncologist said that it is not uncommon to have fluctuations. Here's the next plan of action: at 7am tomorrow, if my ANC go back up to 1.0, I will be discharged. Otherwise, I will be having a biopsy. So, I will sleep early tonight, pray really hard, and hope that I will be going home tomorrow. I am already partially packed just to speed things up a bit - can't wait to get out of here! No offense to the wonderful people who work here and the nice facilities, but there's no place like home.
We had a repeat celebration for Ellie tonight in my room. This time, Katie and my sister were able to join us. Ellie was happy to have another chance to blow out the candles and make a wish. We had the birthday cake while watching Kung Fu Panda. It was another simple, but fun celebration. I am often surprised at how easy it is to please children. They are so precious.
That's it for today. Going to get ready for bed now. Please pray really hard that my numbers will go up again so that I will be able to go home tomorrow. Thank you all for your prayers and support, and may God bless you all!
The numbers came down just a bit today, but my ANC went down to 600. My oncologist said that it is not uncommon to have fluctuations. Here's the next plan of action: at 7am tomorrow, if my ANC go back up to 1.0, I will be discharged. Otherwise, I will be having a biopsy. So, I will sleep early tonight, pray really hard, and hope that I will be going home tomorrow. I am already partially packed just to speed things up a bit - can't wait to get out of here! No offense to the wonderful people who work here and the nice facilities, but there's no place like home.
We had a repeat celebration for Ellie tonight in my room. This time, Katie and my sister were able to join us. Ellie was happy to have another chance to blow out the candles and make a wish. We had the birthday cake while watching Kung Fu Panda. It was another simple, but fun celebration. I am often surprised at how easy it is to please children. They are so precious.
That's it for today. Going to get ready for bed now. Please pray really hard that my numbers will go up again so that I will be able to go home tomorrow. Thank you all for your prayers and support, and may God bless you all!
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
9/8/09 - Going Home?
What a day! As expected, my oncologist called me early this morning to let me know that unless my numbers go up significantly today, I'll have another biopsy by 1pm to know if I can be given a shot to speed up the white cell production. I asked the doctor if the antibiotics could have suppressed the cell production, hoping that stopping the antibiotics yesterday would allow the cells to grow faster. Her answer was that anything is possible, but it is unlikely.
By mid-morning, all the stuff needed for biopsy were already in my room - a scary sight to me. Then, I got another call from the doctor to let me know that my numbers did go up significantly today, so there's no longer a need for a biopsy. That's great news! How high did the numbers go? My white blood count went up to 2.0, ANC was close to 1.0 and hemoglobin went up to 10.2 - all the right numbers to give me a ticket home! Normally, I would have been discharged today, but because my numbers had gone down before, the doctor wanted to keep me here for another day to make sure it doesn't happen again this time. So, if my numbers stay the same or go up tomorrow, I will be home by tomorrow night. Woohoo! My numbers never went up by so much since I came in. We still don't how that happened yesterday, but all I know is that with God, anything is possible!
My eldest daughter, Katie, had a bad case of constipation and stomach ache in the afternoon. Thank God my sister is here to take care of my kids, and that our pediatrician who is also a close friend of ours was at home to take my calls. Although Katie was excited to give Ellie her gift this evening, she didn't feel well enough to join the celebration in the hospital. My sister stayed at home with her while Rob and Ellie came to the hospital to celebrate Ellie's birthday. We'll just have to have another celebration at home with everybody. We were all relieved to know that Katie was feeling much better by 9pm.
Even if Ellie was sad to see her sister suffer, she still had a nice day overall. My sister, Verna, took the kids out for lunch and fancy yogurt, and also let Ellie pick her own birthday cake. Bessie was nice enough to get balloons, chocolate cake and a gift for the birthday girl. Rob and Ellie brought the dinner (Ellie's choice), cake, balloons and gift to my room, and the three of us celebrated there. I put up a banner for Ellie in my room using hospital materials to make the place look a little more festive. We missed having Katie and Verna with us in the hospital, but it still turned out to be a happy celebration - the birthday girl was very happy.
That's it for today. Please pray that the numbers will stay where they are or go up tomorrow so I can finally go home. We are all very excited. As always, thank you for your prayer and support, and may God bless you all.
By mid-morning, all the stuff needed for biopsy were already in my room - a scary sight to me. Then, I got another call from the doctor to let me know that my numbers did go up significantly today, so there's no longer a need for a biopsy. That's great news! How high did the numbers go? My white blood count went up to 2.0, ANC was close to 1.0 and hemoglobin went up to 10.2 - all the right numbers to give me a ticket home! Normally, I would have been discharged today, but because my numbers had gone down before, the doctor wanted to keep me here for another day to make sure it doesn't happen again this time. So, if my numbers stay the same or go up tomorrow, I will be home by tomorrow night. Woohoo! My numbers never went up by so much since I came in. We still don't how that happened yesterday, but all I know is that with God, anything is possible!
My eldest daughter, Katie, had a bad case of constipation and stomach ache in the afternoon. Thank God my sister is here to take care of my kids, and that our pediatrician who is also a close friend of ours was at home to take my calls. Although Katie was excited to give Ellie her gift this evening, she didn't feel well enough to join the celebration in the hospital. My sister stayed at home with her while Rob and Ellie came to the hospital to celebrate Ellie's birthday. We'll just have to have another celebration at home with everybody. We were all relieved to know that Katie was feeling much better by 9pm.
Even if Ellie was sad to see her sister suffer, she still had a nice day overall. My sister, Verna, took the kids out for lunch and fancy yogurt, and also let Ellie pick her own birthday cake. Bessie was nice enough to get balloons, chocolate cake and a gift for the birthday girl. Rob and Ellie brought the dinner (Ellie's choice), cake, balloons and gift to my room, and the three of us celebrated there. I put up a banner for Ellie in my room using hospital materials to make the place look a little more festive. We missed having Katie and Verna with us in the hospital, but it still turned out to be a happy celebration - the birthday girl was very happy.
That's it for today. Please pray that the numbers will stay where they are or go up tomorrow so I can finally go home. We are all very excited. As always, thank you for your prayer and support, and may God bless you all.
Monday, September 7, 2009
9/7/09 - Going up!
After the disappointing results yesterday, I was glad to hear that the numbers went up again today. White blood cells went up slightly to 1.3, ANCs went up to 500 (halfway there), and hemoglobin shot up to 9.8 thanks to the blood transfusion.
The doctors finally agreed to stop the antibiotics. My body has been having increasing allergic reactions to the antibiotics, and since it is not really necessary for me to be taking antibiotics through IV, it might be doing my body more harm than good. There is also a possibility that the antibiotics may have suppressed the development of white blood cells. I hope that the blood count goes up faster now that I am off antibiotics.
Nothing much happened today. I slept so poorly last night because of the rashes from the antibiotics that I spent most of the day catching up on my sleep. The family came for a visit, and we were able to plan on how to celebrate Ellie's birthday tomorrow. She's very excited about her birthday. Ellie picked out her gift, and couldn't wait to have it delivered. Unfortunately, I didn't realize how popular Zhu Zhu Pets are, so we couldn't get it in time for her birthday. According to Toys R'Us, they were flying off the shelf. The person I spoke to said they'll get their next shipment Friday morning, and to make sure I'm there in the morning because they may sell out by the afternoon. I went back to Amazon.com to get it shipped by Wednesday, but they're also sold out. We ended up ordering through an Amazon.com third party vendor. Hopefully, we'll get it delivered by Friday.
Katie lost one of her teeth tonight, and quickly reminded me that the tooth fairy still owed her money. The tooth fairy didn't have change the last time she lost her tooth, and issued an IOU. Oops! Okay, time to look for a proxy - how about Mr. Tooth Fairy? Sorry, Rob.
That's it for today. Please continue to pray that the blood cells and ANCs will go up, and that the hemoglobin won't go down too much. At this point, my oncologist may want to do another biopsy to see if I can get a shot to increase the white blood cell production. Please pray that the right decision will be made. Ideally, my blood count should go up by itself without having to have a shot, so maybe it will go up significantly enough tomorrow to rule out the need for a biopsy. We'll see.
Thank you all for your prayers and support, and may God bless you all!
The doctors finally agreed to stop the antibiotics. My body has been having increasing allergic reactions to the antibiotics, and since it is not really necessary for me to be taking antibiotics through IV, it might be doing my body more harm than good. There is also a possibility that the antibiotics may have suppressed the development of white blood cells. I hope that the blood count goes up faster now that I am off antibiotics.
Nothing much happened today. I slept so poorly last night because of the rashes from the antibiotics that I spent most of the day catching up on my sleep. The family came for a visit, and we were able to plan on how to celebrate Ellie's birthday tomorrow. She's very excited about her birthday. Ellie picked out her gift, and couldn't wait to have it delivered. Unfortunately, I didn't realize how popular Zhu Zhu Pets are, so we couldn't get it in time for her birthday. According to Toys R'Us, they were flying off the shelf. The person I spoke to said they'll get their next shipment Friday morning, and to make sure I'm there in the morning because they may sell out by the afternoon. I went back to Amazon.com to get it shipped by Wednesday, but they're also sold out. We ended up ordering through an Amazon.com third party vendor. Hopefully, we'll get it delivered by Friday.
Katie lost one of her teeth tonight, and quickly reminded me that the tooth fairy still owed her money. The tooth fairy didn't have change the last time she lost her tooth, and issued an IOU. Oops! Okay, time to look for a proxy - how about Mr. Tooth Fairy? Sorry, Rob.
That's it for today. Please continue to pray that the blood cells and ANCs will go up, and that the hemoglobin won't go down too much. At this point, my oncologist may want to do another biopsy to see if I can get a shot to increase the white blood cell production. Please pray that the right decision will be made. Ideally, my blood count should go up by itself without having to have a shot, so maybe it will go up significantly enough tomorrow to rule out the need for a biopsy. We'll see.
Thank you all for your prayers and support, and may God bless you all!
Sunday, September 6, 2009
9/6/09 - Back to Square One
All my numbers went down today. As it turns out, I was given wrong information yesterday. My white blood cell count went down to 1.3 yesterday instead of going up to 1.7. All the numbers had started going down yesterday, and went lower today, so I'm back to square one. Actually, maybe a little worse off. My neutrophils were down to 300 and white blood count down to 1.2. Hemoglobin went down to 6.9, so I was given 2 more units of blood. It looks like we will be celebrating Ellie's birthday here. I told the kids about it, and they were okay with it. I'm glad I'm in a bigger room now - it will be easier to make it feel festive.
It is really a blessing to have a bigger room. For tonight, I was able to ask for an extra TV with a DVD player. We had dinner together here and had a "movie night". That's what we call watching a movie together as a family, usually after dinner, but sometimes while having dinner ("picnic") in the living room. It was fun. I'm sure we'll have fun celebrating Ellie's birthday here, too.
I was a bit disappointed with the numbers this morning, but had to remind myself that God has His own timing. I listened to one of the CDs Vic sent me entitled "When God Delays", a sermon by David Jeremiah. It was just what I needed. The sermon was about Psalm 13, David's Psalm when he was at his wit's end from being chased down by Saul for so many years. He was anointed as king at a young age, but had to wait 15 years (yikes!) before he actually became king. Most of those years were spent living as a fugitive because Saul was hunting him down to kill him. Sometimes, even men of great faith get worn out from the long duration of their trials. His Psalm started with a frustrating cry: "How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?", but ends with "I will sing to the Lord because He has dealt bountifully with me". The key, the speaker said, was to change the focus from the magnitude of one's problem to the goodness of God. David was able to overcome his frustration when he remembered the goodness of God. My sickness is nothing compared to what David had to go through, but it was a good reminder that even if God has revealed His wonderful plan to us, sometimes His timing is different from what we expect. Focusing on His goodness and blessings in the past as well as the present will keep us from getting too impatient or overwhelmed by our trials. Thanks, Vic! That really helped.
I am blessed to have so many people helping me along this journey. In your special way, whether through your prayers, books, jokes, phone calls, visits, email, text messages, food, helping with errands, or other gifts - you have all contributed in helping make this journey bearable for me and my family. Even if we know that this is going to be a long and difficult journey for our family, it is comforting to know that there are so many people who are walking along with us, ready to help us in any way. Thank you so much once again for your prayers and all the other ways you support and encourage us. May God bless you all.
It is really a blessing to have a bigger room. For tonight, I was able to ask for an extra TV with a DVD player. We had dinner together here and had a "movie night". That's what we call watching a movie together as a family, usually after dinner, but sometimes while having dinner ("picnic") in the living room. It was fun. I'm sure we'll have fun celebrating Ellie's birthday here, too.
I was a bit disappointed with the numbers this morning, but had to remind myself that God has His own timing. I listened to one of the CDs Vic sent me entitled "When God Delays", a sermon by David Jeremiah. It was just what I needed. The sermon was about Psalm 13, David's Psalm when he was at his wit's end from being chased down by Saul for so many years. He was anointed as king at a young age, but had to wait 15 years (yikes!) before he actually became king. Most of those years were spent living as a fugitive because Saul was hunting him down to kill him. Sometimes, even men of great faith get worn out from the long duration of their trials. His Psalm started with a frustrating cry: "How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?", but ends with "I will sing to the Lord because He has dealt bountifully with me". The key, the speaker said, was to change the focus from the magnitude of one's problem to the goodness of God. David was able to overcome his frustration when he remembered the goodness of God. My sickness is nothing compared to what David had to go through, but it was a good reminder that even if God has revealed His wonderful plan to us, sometimes His timing is different from what we expect. Focusing on His goodness and blessings in the past as well as the present will keep us from getting too impatient or overwhelmed by our trials. Thanks, Vic! That really helped.
I am blessed to have so many people helping me along this journey. In your special way, whether through your prayers, books, jokes, phone calls, visits, email, text messages, food, helping with errands, or other gifts - you have all contributed in helping make this journey bearable for me and my family. Even if we know that this is going to be a long and difficult journey for our family, it is comforting to know that there are so many people who are walking along with us, ready to help us in any way. Thank you so much once again for your prayers and all the other ways you support and encourage us. May God bless you all.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
9/5/09 - Up and down
My ANCs went back down to 400, although my white cell count went up to 1.7. Hemoglobin also went down a bit to 7.7. So, I'm kind of back to where I was yesterday. The oncologist covering for my oncologist during the long weekend now wants to see my hemoglobin go up to 9 before letting me go home. Another hurdle?! Oh well, he is a more experienced oncologist, so maybe he just wants to be on the safe side. Oh well, I will go home one of these days, just don't know which day yet - in God's time.
I got a nice surprise visit from my friend Sandy and her family today. This is one friendship that grew out of adversity. We didn't know each other well until 2 adversities brought us together. One years ago concerning our mutual friend, and now my situation. With adversity also comes blessings in many different forms. We just need to be aware of them. I've had many blessings of friendships that came out of my sickness. Another blessing today is the yummy food and gifts for the kids and me - it's like Christmas! Thanks, Sandy! Malou and Rakkii, thanks for your gift, too! Food paradise, here I come.
I also got a nice, long visit from my family. We enjoyed some food together, and snuggled up to watched some TV together - felt almost like home. Doing some of the "rituals" or little nothings we do at home help us enjoy the short time we have together each day. I am glad the girls are adjusting so well to the situation. It makes it a lot easier for Rob and I.
That's it for the day. Please continue to pray that my blood count, especially ANCs would go up faster (1000 is the magic number), and that the hemoglobin will also go up to 9. Please also continue to pray that my family and I will continue to adjust well to the situation. Thank you very much for your prayers and may God bless you all!
I got a nice surprise visit from my friend Sandy and her family today. This is one friendship that grew out of adversity. We didn't know each other well until 2 adversities brought us together. One years ago concerning our mutual friend, and now my situation. With adversity also comes blessings in many different forms. We just need to be aware of them. I've had many blessings of friendships that came out of my sickness. Another blessing today is the yummy food and gifts for the kids and me - it's like Christmas! Thanks, Sandy! Malou and Rakkii, thanks for your gift, too! Food paradise, here I come.
I also got a nice, long visit from my family. We enjoyed some food together, and snuggled up to watched some TV together - felt almost like home. Doing some of the "rituals" or little nothings we do at home help us enjoy the short time we have together each day. I am glad the girls are adjusting so well to the situation. It makes it a lot easier for Rob and I.
That's it for the day. Please continue to pray that my blood count, especially ANCs would go up faster (1000 is the magic number), and that the hemoglobin will also go up to 9. Please also continue to pray that my family and I will continue to adjust well to the situation. Thank you very much for your prayers and may God bless you all!
9/4/09 - Higher
My ANC's went up from 456 to 600 today! My white blood count also went up to 1.5 and hemoglobin also went up. That's very encouraging! There's a chance I may be discharged before Ellie's birthday on the 8th. It's going to be a long weekend here in the US, so we're not sure whether I will still see my doctors here when they get back from the long weekend. I am blessed to have good doctors take care of me here in the hospital. We've all kinda said maybe good-bye to each other just in case I leave before they come back on Tuesday. I am still hopeful that I will be home by the 8th, but still have a Plan B in case I'll still be here. I keep reminding myself that God's ways are not my ways, and His thoughts are not my thoughts. And I'll take His thoughts, ways and timing any day over mine.
I got so used to going around without covering my beautiful head during that day that I forgot to put on my cap before my family came to visit. My little girls were shocked when they walked in and saw my head al fresco. They quickly hid behind the curtains as I quickly grabbed the cap to cover my head. We all had a good laugh over that. My sister brought me a delicious meal, and for dessert, we had fruits from Edible Arrangements. I've always wanted to try one of those - fruits arranged into a bouquet - very creative. One of my friends must have read my mind. She came to visit and brought me a beautiful fruit arrangement. Thanks, Shirley!
I really appreciate how my husband has been quietly taking all the extra responsibilities that come with being on double-duty now that I'm out of commission. But once in a while, he even has to do triple duty when his wife makes special requests or has special needs. To end my poor husband's long day, he had to lug 2 more flower arrangements home from the hospital. Many people do not realize that I'm not allowed to have fresh flowers in my room, so I'd receive flowers that I can only look at, but they're left at the nurse's station until my husband can bring them home. Guys don't care for flowers, and having to keep bringing them home is not something he enjoys, but he quietly obliges. What a guy! I certainly lucked out in picking the right man.
While waiting for my sluggish ANCs to go up, I've been reading quite a bit. Also learning more about cancer and the practical aspects of it. Raymond and Pinky gave me this book on "Living with Cancer" and it had many practical advise such as questions to ask doctors, and keeping a folder of all the treatments, medical bills and letters from the insurance company - apparently medical billing mistakes have been known to happen. Hmmm... like I need more paperwork in my life, but better safe than sorry. The author is a doctor. It's interesting to know that even from a doctor's perspective, there are still so many things we don't know about cancer that at best, it is an imprecise art. We have some ideas now as to what may contribute to it, but we still don't understand why certain correlations exist that don't seem to make much sense. The human body is such an amazing creation that I don't think humans will ever really "crack the code". Maybe in another gazillion years, but humans may be extinct by then - all it takes is one asteroid, unless we end up killing each other into extinction first, which is not unlikely - just watch the news.
Well, on to a more cheerful topic. A friend brought to my attention that "desserts" is "stressed" spelled backwards! Now we have another an excuse to indulge when stressed - it's the "natural" cure for stress.
That's it for today. Thank you once again for your prayers and may God bless you all!
I got so used to going around without covering my beautiful head during that day that I forgot to put on my cap before my family came to visit. My little girls were shocked when they walked in and saw my head al fresco. They quickly hid behind the curtains as I quickly grabbed the cap to cover my head. We all had a good laugh over that. My sister brought me a delicious meal, and for dessert, we had fruits from Edible Arrangements. I've always wanted to try one of those - fruits arranged into a bouquet - very creative. One of my friends must have read my mind. She came to visit and brought me a beautiful fruit arrangement. Thanks, Shirley!
I really appreciate how my husband has been quietly taking all the extra responsibilities that come with being on double-duty now that I'm out of commission. But once in a while, he even has to do triple duty when his wife makes special requests or has special needs. To end my poor husband's long day, he had to lug 2 more flower arrangements home from the hospital. Many people do not realize that I'm not allowed to have fresh flowers in my room, so I'd receive flowers that I can only look at, but they're left at the nurse's station until my husband can bring them home. Guys don't care for flowers, and having to keep bringing them home is not something he enjoys, but he quietly obliges. What a guy! I certainly lucked out in picking the right man.
While waiting for my sluggish ANCs to go up, I've been reading quite a bit. Also learning more about cancer and the practical aspects of it. Raymond and Pinky gave me this book on "Living with Cancer" and it had many practical advise such as questions to ask doctors, and keeping a folder of all the treatments, medical bills and letters from the insurance company - apparently medical billing mistakes have been known to happen. Hmmm... like I need more paperwork in my life, but better safe than sorry. The author is a doctor. It's interesting to know that even from a doctor's perspective, there are still so many things we don't know about cancer that at best, it is an imprecise art. We have some ideas now as to what may contribute to it, but we still don't understand why certain correlations exist that don't seem to make much sense. The human body is such an amazing creation that I don't think humans will ever really "crack the code". Maybe in another gazillion years, but humans may be extinct by then - all it takes is one asteroid, unless we end up killing each other into extinction first, which is not unlikely - just watch the news.
Well, on to a more cheerful topic. A friend brought to my attention that "desserts" is "stressed" spelled backwards! Now we have another an excuse to indulge when stressed - it's the "natural" cure for stress.
That's it for today. Thank you once again for your prayers and may God bless you all!
Thursday, September 3, 2009
9/3/09 - Still waiting
Nothing much has changed today. My ANC went up to 456, which is not significant because I am still at severe risk of infections. The white blood count actually went down a bit to 1.2, and my hemoglobin also went down a bit to 7.7. The doctor decided not to have a biopsy done just to see if I can be given a shot to get me home sooner. I agreed with the doctor, because as much as I would like to be home for Ellie's birthday, it's not that big of a deal. We do not have anything planned for the day, so instead of celebrating at home, we could just celebrate her birthday in the hospital if we need to. Besides, she will be spending most of her time at school that day, and her real "celebration" is not until the following weekend when she'll go roller skating.
I am still hopeful that my blood count and ANC will go up faster so I can go home by the 8th. God has his own timing, so I just have to be patient. Please keep praying for us. Thank you for all your prayers and may God bless you all!
I am still hopeful that my blood count and ANC will go up faster so I can go home by the 8th. God has his own timing, so I just have to be patient. Please keep praying for us. Thank you for all your prayers and may God bless you all!
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
9/2/09 - Neutropenia
It has been another beautiful day. The hospital was extra-busy today with many patients coming and going. I am just glad I can stay out of the way (I'm low maintenance now), so they can take care of the other patients who need their help more. I have come to appreciate the nurses, aides and even housekeeping during my stay here. I did not realize how busy they all get, and how they get pulled in all directions sometimes. Nursing is truly a noble profession and I admire people who enter the field with the desire to serve others. They are very special indeed.
I am recovering slowly. My white blood cells inched up to 1.3 today and my hemoglobin is holding steady. So what are we waiting for and when do I get to go home? It really depends on my ANC. Although it is important to keep track of my hemoglobin to know if I need more blood transfusion, and white blood cells to see if my bone marrow is producing new cells, the most significant number the doctor is looking at to determine whether I can go home is my absolute neutrophil count (ANC). This measures the amount of a certain type of white cells called neutrophils that fight against infection. Until yesterday, my neutrophils were so low they didn't even bother to measure it. I am considered neutropenic, and therefore, cannot have fresh flowers in my room or have fresh fruits or vegetables in my diet for fear of bacterial infection. I also get antibiotics dripped into my vein everyday. Yesterday, the ANC went up to 400 which still puts me at severe risk of infection. It stayed at 400 today. The magic number is 1000. Between 1000 and 1500, there is just a mild risk of infection.
The doctor is getting anxious about my blood count inching up so slowly, because they would also like me to be home for my daughter's birthday on the 8th. I may have to have another biopsy to see if they can give me a shot to speed up the white cell production. I am hoping that the blood count will just spike up by itself without having to have another biopsy just to see if I can be given a shot. Please pray that my bone marrow will be able to produce more white blood cell, especially neutrophils, so that I will be able to go home soon.
After shaving my head last night, I just put my cap back on, so by this morning, it was so full of hair that I just could not shake off. I called my sister to bring bandanas and caps when they visit me tonight, and just kept my head al fresco throughout the day. I couldn't help running my hand over the ultra-short hair just to feel the hair rubbing against my hands - it feels funny. It's also funny to see how even the very short hair still keep falling off. To protect my daughters from seeing me bald, I had to scramble for something to cover my head when they come to visit. Hmmm... what can I use? Tadaa! The pillowcase is just the right size to turn into a makeshift bandana! I was able to put it on just in time for their visit. The girls were appreciative of my effort, and I found a new resource for covering my head - not bad!
I just read some of the blog comments from yesterday. I am glad that my thoughts and writings had helped some people draw nearer to God. I am humbled that God would use me in this situation to reach people He wanted to draw closer to Him. One of my friends said, maybe this is one of the reasons why I got sick. Maybe so. Whatever God's reasons, I am positive that the good that will come out of my sickness will far outweigh whatever suffering I will have to go through during this time. God is too good to put me through this trial without having a perfectly good outcome in mind. And He loves me too much to let me go through what I will not be able to bear. And most importantly, I know He is taking care of me every step of the way - that's pretty liberating. I have no illusion of having any control over my situation, so I surrender all to the loving hands of my Father who loves me enough to give His only begotten son for me, and to Jesus who loves me enough to die on the cross for me - what greater love is there? To God be all the honor and glory and praise forever and ever. Amen.
Thank you all for praying for me and my family, and may God bless you all!
I am recovering slowly. My white blood cells inched up to 1.3 today and my hemoglobin is holding steady. So what are we waiting for and when do I get to go home? It really depends on my ANC. Although it is important to keep track of my hemoglobin to know if I need more blood transfusion, and white blood cells to see if my bone marrow is producing new cells, the most significant number the doctor is looking at to determine whether I can go home is my absolute neutrophil count (ANC). This measures the amount of a certain type of white cells called neutrophils that fight against infection. Until yesterday, my neutrophils were so low they didn't even bother to measure it. I am considered neutropenic, and therefore, cannot have fresh flowers in my room or have fresh fruits or vegetables in my diet for fear of bacterial infection. I also get antibiotics dripped into my vein everyday. Yesterday, the ANC went up to 400 which still puts me at severe risk of infection. It stayed at 400 today. The magic number is 1000. Between 1000 and 1500, there is just a mild risk of infection.
The doctor is getting anxious about my blood count inching up so slowly, because they would also like me to be home for my daughter's birthday on the 8th. I may have to have another biopsy to see if they can give me a shot to speed up the white cell production. I am hoping that the blood count will just spike up by itself without having to have another biopsy just to see if I can be given a shot. Please pray that my bone marrow will be able to produce more white blood cell, especially neutrophils, so that I will be able to go home soon.
After shaving my head last night, I just put my cap back on, so by this morning, it was so full of hair that I just could not shake off. I called my sister to bring bandanas and caps when they visit me tonight, and just kept my head al fresco throughout the day. I couldn't help running my hand over the ultra-short hair just to feel the hair rubbing against my hands - it feels funny. It's also funny to see how even the very short hair still keep falling off. To protect my daughters from seeing me bald, I had to scramble for something to cover my head when they come to visit. Hmmm... what can I use? Tadaa! The pillowcase is just the right size to turn into a makeshift bandana! I was able to put it on just in time for their visit. The girls were appreciative of my effort, and I found a new resource for covering my head - not bad!
I just read some of the blog comments from yesterday. I am glad that my thoughts and writings had helped some people draw nearer to God. I am humbled that God would use me in this situation to reach people He wanted to draw closer to Him. One of my friends said, maybe this is one of the reasons why I got sick. Maybe so. Whatever God's reasons, I am positive that the good that will come out of my sickness will far outweigh whatever suffering I will have to go through during this time. God is too good to put me through this trial without having a perfectly good outcome in mind. And He loves me too much to let me go through what I will not be able to bear. And most importantly, I know He is taking care of me every step of the way - that's pretty liberating. I have no illusion of having any control over my situation, so I surrender all to the loving hands of my Father who loves me enough to give His only begotten son for me, and to Jesus who loves me enough to die on the cross for me - what greater love is there? To God be all the honor and glory and praise forever and ever. Amen.
Thank you all for praying for me and my family, and may God bless you all!
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
9/1/09 - Morning by morning, new mercies I see
That's part of a song that comes to mind when I think of the blessings coming my way everyday. The rest of the song goes something like this: "Great is thy faithfulness, oh God, my Father. There is no shadow of turning with Thee. Thou changest not, thy compassion they fail not. Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me."
My blood count is slowly, but surely going up, inched up to 1.2 today and my hemoglobin went up to 8.0. The doctors are still of the opinion that I will be able to go home later this week. So far, so good.
The great news for today was regarding our medical insurance. I called up our benefits department to find out when our open enrollment is scheduled and told the person about my concerns regarding the $1M cap. I was told that my PPO medical insurance has NO LIMIT. I couldn't believe it! To be 100% sure, I called up the insurance company to verify. As it turns out, there is NO LIMIT as long as we stay in network, and the $1M lifetime limit only applies if we go outside the network. That's a huge blessing! I called Rob and my sister right away to share the good news. We were all so relieved! As many of us know by now, $1M can be quickly used up for Leukemia treatments. Thank God!
As usual, my family came to brighten up my day. My sister prepared a special soup for me and Bessie prepared some yummy noodles. Delicious! Thanks, Bessie and Verna!
After dinner, it was time to shave my head. I felt bad for Rob. He really misses my long hair, and now he had to shave off whatever was left of my short hair. The experience wasn't so bad for me. It was weird looking at the mirror and all I could see was my face, but I feel better just shaving the hair off than seeing clumps of hair falling on my bed and on the floor. Sooner or later, they're coming off, so why wait? I'm happy to know that my head is a nice shape, not pointy or flat. My kids refuse to see my shaved head. I have girlie girls, so seeing their mom bald may be too traumatic for their girlish sensibilities. Well, I've just joined the ranks of Demi Moore, Natalie Portman, and Britney Spears in looks - from the back, that is. :-)
That's it for today. Please keep praying for my bone marrow to produce good cells so I can be home before Ellie's birthday on the 8th. Thank you all for your continued prayer and support. May God bless you all.
My blood count is slowly, but surely going up, inched up to 1.2 today and my hemoglobin went up to 8.0. The doctors are still of the opinion that I will be able to go home later this week. So far, so good.
The great news for today was regarding our medical insurance. I called up our benefits department to find out when our open enrollment is scheduled and told the person about my concerns regarding the $1M cap. I was told that my PPO medical insurance has NO LIMIT. I couldn't believe it! To be 100% sure, I called up the insurance company to verify. As it turns out, there is NO LIMIT as long as we stay in network, and the $1M lifetime limit only applies if we go outside the network. That's a huge blessing! I called Rob and my sister right away to share the good news. We were all so relieved! As many of us know by now, $1M can be quickly used up for Leukemia treatments. Thank God!
As usual, my family came to brighten up my day. My sister prepared a special soup for me and Bessie prepared some yummy noodles. Delicious! Thanks, Bessie and Verna!
After dinner, it was time to shave my head. I felt bad for Rob. He really misses my long hair, and now he had to shave off whatever was left of my short hair. The experience wasn't so bad for me. It was weird looking at the mirror and all I could see was my face, but I feel better just shaving the hair off than seeing clumps of hair falling on my bed and on the floor. Sooner or later, they're coming off, so why wait? I'm happy to know that my head is a nice shape, not pointy or flat. My kids refuse to see my shaved head. I have girlie girls, so seeing their mom bald may be too traumatic for their girlish sensibilities. Well, I've just joined the ranks of Demi Moore, Natalie Portman, and Britney Spears in looks - from the back, that is. :-)
That's it for today. Please keep praying for my bone marrow to produce good cells so I can be home before Ellie's birthday on the 8th. Thank you all for your continued prayer and support. May God bless you all.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)