My family and I would like to wish you and your family a wonderful and memorable Christmas and all the best blessings for the new year!
It is a real blessing to have family, friends and Christian brothers and sisters we don't even know praying for us during our challenging adventure and sending us well wishes. From Thanksgiving to Christmas, you have often been in our prayers as we offer special thanks to God for all of you. You continue to be one of the main reasons why we are able to enjoy our lives despite the circumstances. You have contributed to my healing and my family's emotional and spiritual well-being all these months. This has been a long journey. One that is physically and emotionally challenging, but one that is as easy as it could have been because of what you have done. Once again, we thank you all from the bottom of our hearts and pray that God will richly bless you and your family.
My check-ups continue to be good. The doctor has reduced my check-ups from once a week to once every two weeks. I have less hives now, so he may start reducing my medication again next week.
Since my last blog entry, life has gotten from busy to busier, as I'm sure many of you have been experiencing. In my case, life has been busy catching up with household stuff due to my prolonged "vacation" in the hospital. I am not good with housekeeping and excellent in procrastinating when it comes to these things, so I will be playing catch up for a long time. I have also been busy with celebrations - my favorite kind of busyness! he! he! Just thought I'd share some with you:
- My 100th day post-transplant (11/11/2010) came and went without any challenges. So, we celebrated with my sister and friends who have been extra helpful during my recovery. We had a multi-purpose party: 100th day post-transplant, thanking friends, birthdays and going away party for my sister! Many good reasons to pig out! :-)
- Celebrating sisterhood. My sister, Verna, came to help us out the last few months. We will be forever grateful for her help, and thank God that she is in our lives. Knowing that she will not be here with us for a long time, I have been busy enjoying her company while she was here. Verna left for Manila on Thanksgiving day. We miss her and look forward to her next visit.
- Friendships. An old friend and former co-worker visited from Vancouver. That was enough excuse to round up former coworkers and friends in the area. It is always nice to catch up with old friends.
- Thanksgiving day...so many reasons to be thankful (including you!), and more yummy food! Need I say more? :-)
- Our 23rd wedding anniversary! Rob and I have not been married 23 years, but we had two weddings - a civil wedding in St. John (one of the U.S. Virgin Islands) and a church wedding in Manila. We celebrate both every year, so technically it is our 23rd anniversary. ha! ha! Did I say I love celebrations? :-)
- Family R&R. We just came back from a short vacation a couple of days ago. We went to Ventura county exploring Santa Barbara, Oxnard and vicinity. It rained most of the time we were there, so instead of lounging by the beach, hiking in Channel Islands and sightseeing, we ended up lounging in the townhouse (rental), did some sightseeing and explored museums and Christmas spectacles in the area. There were many pleasant surprises, lots of laughter and much relaxation - very nice vacation! As Douglas McArthur once said, "(We) shall return."
- Christmas...a time to reflect on the reason for the season...a time to be busy looking for the best gifts and sending greetings to those who matter most in our lives. It is the time of year when we celebrate Jesus, family and friends - relationships that enrich our lives on so many ways...God's gifts to us.
Once again, we wish you the best of the season and a happy new year. Thank you for your love, your friendship, your prayers and your well wishes. May God continue to bless you and your family!
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
11/2/2010 - Happy Birthday to Me!
Yesterday was my birthday. And boy, did I have a happy birthday! Nothing spectacular happened on my birthday, but it was one of the best birthdays I ever had. Part of it had to do with the gratitude of having survived to celebrate another year of life. Part of it had to do with being able to celebrate it with my family. And a lot of it had to do with all the love I received on my special day.
The day started with lots of hugs and kisses from my family. Katie and Ellie gave me their homemade cards - they are the best kind! I started receiving calls and texts from friends and relatives who remembered my birthday. That made for a great start for the day.
My sister went with me to the City of Hope for my regular Monday morning check-up. I got plenty of greetings from the nurses, scheduler, and also my doctor. Some of them sang the birthday song and even came up with a makeshift birthday cake and candle (a piece of brownie topped with a chocolate kiss). I see them all so often that we have come to know each other better. It is very nice to have such wonderful people take care of me all these months. Once again, I cannot say enough good things about the care I receive(d) both as an inpatient and outpatient at the City of Hope. Truly an excellent organization made up of outstanding professionals.
While waiting for my name to be called at the hospital, I used my new netbook (my hubby's gift) to check my email and log in to Facebook. To my pleasant surprise, there were already many greetings from relatives and friends from all over. The rest of the day was filled with more greetings and even a home made cheesecake from Bessie! Delicious! Now if that doesn't warm one's heart, I don't know what will. I was so touched by the outpouring of love from my family, friends and relatives.
Now, what's a birthday celebration without food? Thanks to your prayers, I was allowed to eat in restaurants on my birthday. I usually take a day off from cooking on my birthday and on Mother's Day, so that worked out well. We went to a couple of our favorite restaurants for lunch and dinner.
I feel so blessed to have a really nice family and relatives, and doubly blessed to have so many wonderful friends. The best gift I got today was the reminder of how much richer my life has been because of the friends I've made along the way. I can think of many fun, funny and fond memories with them. Of course, there were also many challenges we had to go through that made our friendships stronger, but it is the bond and the good memories that I cherish most. Oh, no! I am beginning to sound like an old person! I used to think nostalgia is for old people. Oh well, we'll all get there sooner or later. It's just great to be alive - young or old. :-)
The Lord continues to grant our request for an uneventful 100 days, and for my recovery. The check-up went well. The doctor was happy with the test results. It didn't bother him that I was fighting a mild cold, some hives and a mild upset stomach. He even allowed me to eat in restaurants. As usual, if the doctor is happy, so am I. I am scheduled to have another biopsy next week. They normally take another biopsy near the 100th day to see whether all the cancer cells are gone. Please pray that the biopsy will come out clean, and that I will get over the cold, hives and upset stomach.
Also please remember to thank God for His goodness. Each time I go to for my check-up, I am reminded of how blessed I am to have to go through so little considering my situation. A fellow patient I met at the hospital who also had AML is having a hard time recovering. Although her sister was her transplant donor, and she went home a week before I did, she still cannot eat well because of nausea and problems with her digestion. She had several blood and platelet transfusions. On top of that, she even had spinal taps (that's painful) and was required to have chemo every other week for the next six months! I really felt bad for her. She is my age and also has two children. It must be very tough on her. There are many other stories of what other patients are going through as I meet them at the waiting area. I cannot help letting out a "Thank you, Lord!" under my breath each time I hear about what other people had to go through, because "there, but for the grace of God, go I".
Thank you all very much, because I know that without your prayers, the road would have been rougher for me and my family. Please do not underestimate the impact your prayers have on our lives. We certainly don't. May God continue to bless you and your family!
The day started with lots of hugs and kisses from my family. Katie and Ellie gave me their homemade cards - they are the best kind! I started receiving calls and texts from friends and relatives who remembered my birthday. That made for a great start for the day.
My sister went with me to the City of Hope for my regular Monday morning check-up. I got plenty of greetings from the nurses, scheduler, and also my doctor. Some of them sang the birthday song and even came up with a makeshift birthday cake and candle (a piece of brownie topped with a chocolate kiss). I see them all so often that we have come to know each other better. It is very nice to have such wonderful people take care of me all these months. Once again, I cannot say enough good things about the care I receive(d) both as an inpatient and outpatient at the City of Hope. Truly an excellent organization made up of outstanding professionals.
While waiting for my name to be called at the hospital, I used my new netbook (my hubby's gift) to check my email and log in to Facebook. To my pleasant surprise, there were already many greetings from relatives and friends from all over. The rest of the day was filled with more greetings and even a home made cheesecake from Bessie! Delicious! Now if that doesn't warm one's heart, I don't know what will. I was so touched by the outpouring of love from my family, friends and relatives.
Now, what's a birthday celebration without food? Thanks to your prayers, I was allowed to eat in restaurants on my birthday. I usually take a day off from cooking on my birthday and on Mother's Day, so that worked out well. We went to a couple of our favorite restaurants for lunch and dinner.
I feel so blessed to have a really nice family and relatives, and doubly blessed to have so many wonderful friends. The best gift I got today was the reminder of how much richer my life has been because of the friends I've made along the way. I can think of many fun, funny and fond memories with them. Of course, there were also many challenges we had to go through that made our friendships stronger, but it is the bond and the good memories that I cherish most. Oh, no! I am beginning to sound like an old person! I used to think nostalgia is for old people. Oh well, we'll all get there sooner or later. It's just great to be alive - young or old. :-)
The Lord continues to grant our request for an uneventful 100 days, and for my recovery. The check-up went well. The doctor was happy with the test results. It didn't bother him that I was fighting a mild cold, some hives and a mild upset stomach. He even allowed me to eat in restaurants. As usual, if the doctor is happy, so am I. I am scheduled to have another biopsy next week. They normally take another biopsy near the 100th day to see whether all the cancer cells are gone. Please pray that the biopsy will come out clean, and that I will get over the cold, hives and upset stomach.
Also please remember to thank God for His goodness. Each time I go to for my check-up, I am reminded of how blessed I am to have to go through so little considering my situation. A fellow patient I met at the hospital who also had AML is having a hard time recovering. Although her sister was her transplant donor, and she went home a week before I did, she still cannot eat well because of nausea and problems with her digestion. She had several blood and platelet transfusions. On top of that, she even had spinal taps (that's painful) and was required to have chemo every other week for the next six months! I really felt bad for her. She is my age and also has two children. It must be very tough on her. There are many other stories of what other patients are going through as I meet them at the waiting area. I cannot help letting out a "Thank you, Lord!" under my breath each time I hear about what other people had to go through, because "there, but for the grace of God, go I".
Thank you all very much, because I know that without your prayers, the road would have been rougher for me and my family. Please do not underestimate the impact your prayers have on our lives. We certainly don't. May God continue to bless you and your family!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
10/13/2010 - Speedy Recovery
I can't believe it has been a month since I last posted an entry! My apologies to anyone out there who got concerned about my well-being due to my long silence.
My check-ups have been good all this time. The only issue I had was that a certain virus called CMV for short (I don't remember the long version of the name) came out in a blood test. It is similar to the chicken pox virus - most people have it, but it leaves us alone unless our immune system is weakened. I had to take an IV medication for that, and it was gone in a week. I continue to take it just as a precaution. The IV med was quite interesting. It looks like the lemon juice sold in lemon-shaped containers in supermarkets, but with a tube coming out of one end to attach to my PICC line (port). The "lemon" becomes smaller as the medication goes into my system. Once it is finished, I just take it off myself. So easy. I love technology!
I will be going for my check-up again tomorrow morning. The doctor has been very happy with my progress, so I do not expect it to be any different tomorrow. The doctor continues to reduce my medications, and I continue to feel better. God continues to be gracious to me and my family. Thank you for your prayers and well wishes.
So what has been keeping me busy these days? Partying! :-) Not really. I spend two mornings a week at the hospital for check-ups. Then, it is mostly activities revolving around food - grocery shopping, cooking, eating and cleaning up. Since I cannot eat restaurant food, I had to prepare most meals by myself. Takeout food has taken a backseat to my culinary skills (or lack thereof). :-) It feels good to feed my family our favorite foods again. Then, there's the visits to the dentist and optometrist for myself and the kids, and some shopping (yes!).
I read something interesting recently. Apparently, spending 10 minutes a day to meditate, pray, or just clear the mind and do nothing can make a big difference in managing stress. There is some positive physical effect on the body, but I don't remember what it is anymore - blame it on my chemo brain. :-|
Another interesting thing I read recently. If you know anyone who has cancer, you can help them by trying to make them laugh or get them to be happy. Apparently, a recent study has shown that cancer patients who are positive and happy tend to recover faster than patients who are down, worried or depressed. The mental and emotional state of the person has a lot to do with the body's ability to recover.
Thank you all for your continued support through your prayers and well-wishes. May God continue to bless you and your family.
My check-ups have been good all this time. The only issue I had was that a certain virus called CMV for short (I don't remember the long version of the name) came out in a blood test. It is similar to the chicken pox virus - most people have it, but it leaves us alone unless our immune system is weakened. I had to take an IV medication for that, and it was gone in a week. I continue to take it just as a precaution. The IV med was quite interesting. It looks like the lemon juice sold in lemon-shaped containers in supermarkets, but with a tube coming out of one end to attach to my PICC line (port). The "lemon" becomes smaller as the medication goes into my system. Once it is finished, I just take it off myself. So easy. I love technology!
I will be going for my check-up again tomorrow morning. The doctor has been very happy with my progress, so I do not expect it to be any different tomorrow. The doctor continues to reduce my medications, and I continue to feel better. God continues to be gracious to me and my family. Thank you for your prayers and well wishes.
So what has been keeping me busy these days? Partying! :-) Not really. I spend two mornings a week at the hospital for check-ups. Then, it is mostly activities revolving around food - grocery shopping, cooking, eating and cleaning up. Since I cannot eat restaurant food, I had to prepare most meals by myself. Takeout food has taken a backseat to my culinary skills (or lack thereof). :-) It feels good to feed my family our favorite foods again. Then, there's the visits to the dentist and optometrist for myself and the kids, and some shopping (yes!).
I read something interesting recently. Apparently, spending 10 minutes a day to meditate, pray, or just clear the mind and do nothing can make a big difference in managing stress. There is some positive physical effect on the body, but I don't remember what it is anymore - blame it on my chemo brain. :-|
Another interesting thing I read recently. If you know anyone who has cancer, you can help them by trying to make them laugh or get them to be happy. Apparently, a recent study has shown that cancer patients who are positive and happy tend to recover faster than patients who are down, worried or depressed. The mental and emotional state of the person has a lot to do with the body's ability to recover.
Thank you all for your continued support through your prayers and well-wishes. May God continue to bless you and your family.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
9/15/2010 - Happiness
Happiness is getting good results during check-ups. My biopsy came out clean! My blood count had been normal for over a week now, but I am immune compromised. I am still on immune suppressants and steroids to take care of any GVHD / rejection. The doctor has started reducing my medications because he says I am doing very well. When the doctor is happy with my condition, I am happy. I see the doctor twice a week for check-ups.
I have recovered from my zombie state. Now, I can do some chores around the house, cook my family's favorite foods, and go out shopping (mostly just for food). I still can't stay out too much in the sun or be exposed to crowded places and I am still on low bacteria diet plus some other restrictions, but I am not complaining. This beats staying in the hospital any day. It is so nice to go back to a somewhat normal life again! Even washing dishes felt like a privilege after being unable to do these seemingly mundane chores. Just goes to show what a little change in perspective can do.
Happiness is being home with my family. After spending 2 months away from them, I have a renewed appreciation for my husband and my children. My loving husband did a wonderful job being Superdad while I was gone. He managed to keep everything as close to normal for our kids as possible - not an easy feat. Feels great knowing that the man I married is someone I have grown to love even more over the years. As for my girls, they can't get enough hugs and kisses from mommy. No worries there. I have infinite supply. Katie's second name is Grace, and Ellie's is Joy. They are truly God's grace and joy to Rob and I.
Happiness is having my sister here with us. My sister, Verna, is in town to be my "designated caregiver". A designated caregiver is someone who helps the patient with day-to-day activities and to rush the patient to the hospital during emergencies. In my case, because I am doing so well, her role is to rush me to the emergency room any time should the need arise. I am serious. The hospital wanted to know who will be available for the job before sending me home. I do not expect to have to go through that, but it is better be prepared for the worst. In the meantime, I am enjoying the company of my sister. For those who have sisters, you know what a treat this is! I call her my "angel", sent by God to watch over me last year, and again this year. How blessed am I?
Happiness is being able to enjoy food again! I am singing "Food, Glorious Food!" (from Ice Age) in my mind. My taste buds were muted when I came out of the hospital. I was also under a more stringent diet restriction then. I still can't eat restaurant food, but I can have home cooked meals. My taste buds have come back to life, so I have been indulging myself with my favorite home cooked food. Yum!
Happiness is having all of you praying for me and my family. We would not have been able to fare so well all these months were it not for your prayers. God continues to shine His grace upon our family, and we are very thankful to be back in each other's arms again.
Thank you for very much for your prayers and may God continue to bless you and your family!
I have recovered from my zombie state. Now, I can do some chores around the house, cook my family's favorite foods, and go out shopping (mostly just for food). I still can't stay out too much in the sun or be exposed to crowded places and I am still on low bacteria diet plus some other restrictions, but I am not complaining. This beats staying in the hospital any day. It is so nice to go back to a somewhat normal life again! Even washing dishes felt like a privilege after being unable to do these seemingly mundane chores. Just goes to show what a little change in perspective can do.
Happiness is being home with my family. After spending 2 months away from them, I have a renewed appreciation for my husband and my children. My loving husband did a wonderful job being Superdad while I was gone. He managed to keep everything as close to normal for our kids as possible - not an easy feat. Feels great knowing that the man I married is someone I have grown to love even more over the years. As for my girls, they can't get enough hugs and kisses from mommy. No worries there. I have infinite supply. Katie's second name is Grace, and Ellie's is Joy. They are truly God's grace and joy to Rob and I.
Happiness is having my sister here with us. My sister, Verna, is in town to be my "designated caregiver". A designated caregiver is someone who helps the patient with day-to-day activities and to rush the patient to the hospital during emergencies. In my case, because I am doing so well, her role is to rush me to the emergency room any time should the need arise. I am serious. The hospital wanted to know who will be available for the job before sending me home. I do not expect to have to go through that, but it is better be prepared for the worst. In the meantime, I am enjoying the company of my sister. For those who have sisters, you know what a treat this is! I call her my "angel", sent by God to watch over me last year, and again this year. How blessed am I?
Happiness is being able to enjoy food again! I am singing "Food, Glorious Food!" (from Ice Age) in my mind. My taste buds were muted when I came out of the hospital. I was also under a more stringent diet restriction then. I still can't eat restaurant food, but I can have home cooked meals. My taste buds have come back to life, so I have been indulging myself with my favorite home cooked food. Yum!
Happiness is having all of you praying for me and my family. We would not have been able to fare so well all these months were it not for your prayers. God continues to shine His grace upon our family, and we are very thankful to be back in each other's arms again.
Thank you for very much for your prayers and may God continue to bless you and your family!
Friday, September 3, 2010
9/3/2010 - Home Sweet Home
I came home last Thursday, as expected, but have been silent since then because I have been enjoying time with the family and also time with my nephew, Kelvin. He came all the way from Toronto to help us out. It was such a blessing to have Kelvin around. I was feeling fatigued when I came home, and Kelvin just spoiled me rotten. Now that he has gone home, it is back to reality for me. he! he!
After coming home, I spent most days in bed because I started having hives a few days later. The hives would flare up at night and keep me from having a good night's rest. Good thing I was in my own bed, and not in a hospital bed. That would just make me miserable! The doctor said that the hives is a form of GVHD (graft versus host disease), and that it is actually good that I had some, because it shows that the transplant was effective. Guess I should be thankful for it. Now that I have been given steroids, I was able to sleep well last night. No more walking around like a zombie during the day!
I have to go for check-ups twice a week. So far, my blood count has been good, and the doctor seems happy with my progress. I had a bone marrow biopsy yesterday. We'll know the results in a couple of weeks. Now, if the hives will die down even as the doctor reduces my medication, that would just be perfect. I still have until November 11 to be out of the critical stage. The first 100 days after transplant are critical because anything can go wrong. So, I am being extra careful. There are many restrictions - no restaurant food, no salads, no fruits with soft skin like berries, no leftovers over 14 hours, no exposure to dust or animals, no crowded places, etc. The good thing is that I can eat real food now, as long as it's home cooked. Thanks to Kelvin, Nora, Cristina and Bessie, our family remains well-fed even if I haven't started cooking yet. Hopefully, I get to sleep well at night from here on, so I can start acting like a human being again, not just some zombie walking around our house and falling asleep at all hours of the day. I feel more energized today, and I hope this is the turning point to get me back to having a regular schedule. It is pretty boring to be sleeping most of the day.
By the way, I picked up a few skills while at the hospital with lots of time to kill. In addition to learning to play the harp, I also learned how to knit! I never thought I would be so bored that I would take up knitting. Well, never say never. I was able to knit a scarf for Ellie, and I have a couple more to make for Katie and Kelvin. I am definitely getting more and more domesticated. Whodathunk?! :-)
That's all for now. Thank you all for your prayers and may God continue to bless you and your family.
After coming home, I spent most days in bed because I started having hives a few days later. The hives would flare up at night and keep me from having a good night's rest. Good thing I was in my own bed, and not in a hospital bed. That would just make me miserable! The doctor said that the hives is a form of GVHD (graft versus host disease), and that it is actually good that I had some, because it shows that the transplant was effective. Guess I should be thankful for it. Now that I have been given steroids, I was able to sleep well last night. No more walking around like a zombie during the day!
I have to go for check-ups twice a week. So far, my blood count has been good, and the doctor seems happy with my progress. I had a bone marrow biopsy yesterday. We'll know the results in a couple of weeks. Now, if the hives will die down even as the doctor reduces my medication, that would just be perfect. I still have until November 11 to be out of the critical stage. The first 100 days after transplant are critical because anything can go wrong. So, I am being extra careful. There are many restrictions - no restaurant food, no salads, no fruits with soft skin like berries, no leftovers over 14 hours, no exposure to dust or animals, no crowded places, etc. The good thing is that I can eat real food now, as long as it's home cooked. Thanks to Kelvin, Nora, Cristina and Bessie, our family remains well-fed even if I haven't started cooking yet. Hopefully, I get to sleep well at night from here on, so I can start acting like a human being again, not just some zombie walking around our house and falling asleep at all hours of the day. I feel more energized today, and I hope this is the turning point to get me back to having a regular schedule. It is pretty boring to be sleeping most of the day.
By the way, I picked up a few skills while at the hospital with lots of time to kill. In addition to learning to play the harp, I also learned how to knit! I never thought I would be so bored that I would take up knitting. Well, never say never. I was able to knit a scarf for Ellie, and I have a couple more to make for Katie and Kelvin. I am definitely getting more and more domesticated. Whodathunk?! :-)
That's all for now. Thank you all for your prayers and may God continue to bless you and your family.
Monday, August 23, 2010
8/23/2010 - Going Home Soon
Just when I think things can't get any better, God surprises me with more good news! First, the doctor said I may be able to go home this weekend. I was already ecstatic with the news. Then, last Friday, the doctor changed it to this Friday. Now, he just came in and said things are looking good and I may be able to go home this Thursday! My heart is overflowing with gratitude.
God has been healing me everyday, working the miracle of rebirth in my body. To me, the human body is still the most amazing "machine" ever built. I do not understand all the things that go on in there, but I know the Designer knows exactly what needs to happen.
I marvel at how He often defies human wisdom to show His power and sovereignty. As I mentioned before, most transplant patients spend 4-6 weeks in the hospital after transplant. In my case, I was warned that I may stay longer because I had an unrelated donor. If I were to go home on Thursday, that would only have been 3 weeks and 2 days! Amazing!
"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21
Thank you all for your prayers that made this experience quite amazing. May God continue to bless you and your family.
God has been healing me everyday, working the miracle of rebirth in my body. To me, the human body is still the most amazing "machine" ever built. I do not understand all the things that go on in there, but I know the Designer knows exactly what needs to happen.
I marvel at how He often defies human wisdom to show His power and sovereignty. As I mentioned before, most transplant patients spend 4-6 weeks in the hospital after transplant. In my case, I was warned that I may stay longer because I had an unrelated donor. If I were to go home on Thursday, that would only have been 3 weeks and 2 days! Amazing!
"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21
Thank you all for your prayers that made this experience quite amazing. May God continue to bless you and your family.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
8/17/2010 - Getting Better
Things have been looking great the last few days. My blood count has started to go up since 4 days ago. The normal range for white blood count is 4.0 to 11.0. After radiation and chemo, mine went down to 0.1 and stayed there for some time, as expected. Then, it went from 0.1 to 1.0 in the last 4 days! This is great!
And because my white count has reached 1.0, I am now allowed to leave my room. I am now a "cage-free" or "free range" chicken. ha! ha! I like getting out of the cage, I mean, room and walk around the hospital floor as part of my daily exercise. I always thought that free range chicken and cage free chicken must be happier than regular chicken. I just didn't feel happy paying extra money for happy chicken in the supermarket. Besides, they can't be so happy anymore, they're dead. :-|
The doctor said that if I keep up my progress, I have a chance of going home next weekend. That would be awesome! I don't want to keep my hopes up too high, but then I also want to have enough faith to believe that it will happen if that is what God wants. I know that I have often lacked enough faith for God to work His wonders in the past, so I am asking God to give me enough faith now so He can work His wonders during my healing.
I am in good spirits these days. I still have diarrhea, but it is getting better. I still suffer from hemorroids, but that is slowly getting better, too. I still can't have regular food, but the doctor has put me on a restricted diet. Yay! I get more than just water and sunlight now. I have evolved from a plant to a human! :-D
God is so great! I have been previously warned by the transplant coordinator that after transplant, patients typically stay 4-6 weeks in the hospital. But because my donor is unrelated, I may have a harder time during recovery, so I should expect to stay 6 weeks or more in the hospital. If I get to go home next weekend, I would have just stayed here only 4 weeks after transplant! I would really like that to happen, because then we will have another evidence of the greatness of God. More reason to sing His praises. We are so blessed to know this great, big, awesome, living and all-loving God!
I know that my experience these past weeks were only possible because of all the prayers that have been offered on my behalf before the throne of God. I know many of you have been relentless in interceding for me and my family, and even crying out to the Lord for us. I will forever be grateful to all of you. For without your prayers, my experience could have been unbearably painful for me and my family.
Thank you all again for your prayers and may God continue to bless you and your family!
And because my white count has reached 1.0, I am now allowed to leave my room. I am now a "cage-free" or "free range" chicken. ha! ha! I like getting out of the cage, I mean, room and walk around the hospital floor as part of my daily exercise. I always thought that free range chicken and cage free chicken must be happier than regular chicken. I just didn't feel happy paying extra money for happy chicken in the supermarket. Besides, they can't be so happy anymore, they're dead. :-|
The doctor said that if I keep up my progress, I have a chance of going home next weekend. That would be awesome! I don't want to keep my hopes up too high, but then I also want to have enough faith to believe that it will happen if that is what God wants. I know that I have often lacked enough faith for God to work His wonders in the past, so I am asking God to give me enough faith now so He can work His wonders during my healing.
I am in good spirits these days. I still have diarrhea, but it is getting better. I still suffer from hemorroids, but that is slowly getting better, too. I still can't have regular food, but the doctor has put me on a restricted diet. Yay! I get more than just water and sunlight now. I have evolved from a plant to a human! :-D
God is so great! I have been previously warned by the transplant coordinator that after transplant, patients typically stay 4-6 weeks in the hospital. But because my donor is unrelated, I may have a harder time during recovery, so I should expect to stay 6 weeks or more in the hospital. If I get to go home next weekend, I would have just stayed here only 4 weeks after transplant! I would really like that to happen, because then we will have another evidence of the greatness of God. More reason to sing His praises. We are so blessed to know this great, big, awesome, living and all-loving God!
I know that my experience these past weeks were only possible because of all the prayers that have been offered on my behalf before the throne of God. I know many of you have been relentless in interceding for me and my family, and even crying out to the Lord for us. I will forever be grateful to all of you. For without your prayers, my experience could have been unbearably painful for me and my family.
Thank you all again for your prayers and may God continue to bless you and your family!
Friday, August 13, 2010
8/13/2010 - Daily Miracles
I still feel out of sorts these days because of the diarrhea, hemorrhoids, bouts of nausea and gas. I told my nurse this morning how terrible I feel when all of the side effects strike at the same time. It felt like there's something wrong with my body, but I couldn't figure out what it is and what to do about it.
Then, she told me I am so lucky to feel the way I do. Huh? Apparently, most patients in my situation would have mouth sores, throwing up a lot, really bad diarrhea, and no energy to do anything. They are constantly in bed and feel terrible. Listening to her made me choke up. I realized then how blessed I am. Although the doctor kept telling me I am doing well, I was never quite sure whether he really meant it or whether he was just encouraging me. Now I know. Ahh! There, but for the grace of God go I. God is working miracles in my body everyday, and I did not fully realize it until now! I believe God is protecting and healing me everyday because He loves us and is granting our prayer requests. What a privilege to come to our God with our requests and know that our God is real, loving and almighty!
Sometimes, when I am feeling blah, I just start counting my blessings and realize that I have so much to be thankful for. I also realize that these temporary inconveniences will soon pass away. I think the sufferings we have in our lifetime never exceeds the joy of knowing the Lord and living under His care.
We are so blessed to be the children of the living God. To live under His care is to know that whatever happens to us, He is in control and He always has a higher purpose for our suffering. All I can say is Thy will be done!
Thank you so much for persevering with us through your prayers. May God continue to bless you and your family!
Then, she told me I am so lucky to feel the way I do. Huh? Apparently, most patients in my situation would have mouth sores, throwing up a lot, really bad diarrhea, and no energy to do anything. They are constantly in bed and feel terrible. Listening to her made me choke up. I realized then how blessed I am. Although the doctor kept telling me I am doing well, I was never quite sure whether he really meant it or whether he was just encouraging me. Now I know. Ahh! There, but for the grace of God go I. God is working miracles in my body everyday, and I did not fully realize it until now! I believe God is protecting and healing me everyday because He loves us and is granting our prayer requests. What a privilege to come to our God with our requests and know that our God is real, loving and almighty!
Sometimes, when I am feeling blah, I just start counting my blessings and realize that I have so much to be thankful for. I also realize that these temporary inconveniences will soon pass away. I think the sufferings we have in our lifetime never exceeds the joy of knowing the Lord and living under His care.
We are so blessed to be the children of the living God. To live under His care is to know that whatever happens to us, He is in control and He always has a higher purpose for our suffering. All I can say is Thy will be done!
Thank you so much for persevering with us through your prayers. May God continue to bless you and your family!
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
8/11/2010 - Feeling Better
I finally snapped out of my blahs, with a lot of help from your prayers, phone calls from old friends, visits from new ones, and some good news from the doctor.
It started a this weekend when I got a call from Weng, my college friend who now lives in Australia. It was such a nice surprise! Later that day, I also got a call from my college best friend, Jac, from Manila. She just found out about what I was going through from a chance meeting with my sister. It was so good to hear from her, and to be encouraged by her. Then, my college friend, Gina, called in the evening. Also a nice surprise. The only person who didn't call from our college group was Cynch, but then we've been writing each other quite a bit. I love my friends and I always thought that friendships are some of life's best gifts. That was a very special day for me.
I got more calls, texts and emails from family and friends that further improved my mood. Today, I got a visit from the music therapist. She is one of the few people in life that I've just met but felt like we've known each other a lifetime ago. We always had fun talking about anything and everything. I also had a nice visit from the social worker, a fellow foodie, so you can guess what we talked about.
The doctor gave me some good news. He said that my triglicerides seem to be going down so I do not need a plasma exchange. Yay! He also said that my cells may start recovering this weekend, and that if things continue going well, I may even be able to go home by the end of the month! Wow! That's 2 weeks sooner that I had expected. I hope there will only be minimal rejection and my blood count will go up quickly.
"Food! Glorious Food!" is a line from a Ice Age that keeps playing in my mind. I miss eating real food. The other day, when I was watching TV, I noticed that I was paying more attention to the food commercials than the show itself. (drool!) Even commercials for food I would not even think of eating (unhealthy fast food) looked so delicious. I tell myself, just a few more days... For now, my diet still consists of nutrients from a bag, and pure, clear water. Yum! :-\
Thank you so much for your prayers and may God bless you and your family!
It started a this weekend when I got a call from Weng, my college friend who now lives in Australia. It was such a nice surprise! Later that day, I also got a call from my college best friend, Jac, from Manila. She just found out about what I was going through from a chance meeting with my sister. It was so good to hear from her, and to be encouraged by her. Then, my college friend, Gina, called in the evening. Also a nice surprise. The only person who didn't call from our college group was Cynch, but then we've been writing each other quite a bit. I love my friends and I always thought that friendships are some of life's best gifts. That was a very special day for me.
I got more calls, texts and emails from family and friends that further improved my mood. Today, I got a visit from the music therapist. She is one of the few people in life that I've just met but felt like we've known each other a lifetime ago. We always had fun talking about anything and everything. I also had a nice visit from the social worker, a fellow foodie, so you can guess what we talked about.
The doctor gave me some good news. He said that my triglicerides seem to be going down so I do not need a plasma exchange. Yay! He also said that my cells may start recovering this weekend, and that if things continue going well, I may even be able to go home by the end of the month! Wow! That's 2 weeks sooner that I had expected. I hope there will only be minimal rejection and my blood count will go up quickly.
"Food! Glorious Food!" is a line from a Ice Age that keeps playing in my mind. I miss eating real food. The other day, when I was watching TV, I noticed that I was paying more attention to the food commercials than the show itself. (drool!) Even commercials for food I would not even think of eating (unhealthy fast food) looked so delicious. I tell myself, just a few more days... For now, my diet still consists of nutrients from a bag, and pure, clear water. Yum! :-\
Thank you so much for your prayers and may God bless you and your family!
Monday, August 9, 2010
8/9/2010 - Feeling Blah
The last few days were a bit more challenging. I am slowly experiencing the side effects of radiation, chemo, and other medications. Radiation and chemotherapy causes nausea, diarrhea, loss of hair, dry skin, sore arms and legs from time to time. Because I have hemmorhoids from childbirth, it just takes my experience of diarrhea tortuous!
One medication made my glucose go way up, so they had to give me another pill to bring it down. Another med also sent my triglicerides way up. They could not bring it down fast enough with pills, so they now want me to have a plasma exchange. That means using this big machine to take out my plasma with the triglicerides and replace it with good plasma containing albumin. Unfortunately, I have such thin veins that they could not get the needle into my vein. The doctor says they'll give me another pill, but if it doesn't work, they will have to put a catheter to my side for the plasma exchange. Whoopee, more needles! Not!
What can I do? I just want to get all these over and done with. I have asked the nurse if there is any medication that I can take so I can just go to sleep until everything is over. Just wishful thinking. How about time travel? That will be a good use of the technology. Or maybe parking my body in the hospital while they do the repairs, and my spirit can go on a nice vacation. :-)
Well, as bad as things were, I had some wonderful surprises this weekend. I was able to spend some time on the phone with some of my dearest and oldest friends. It was such a surprise, because they were calling from Australia and Manila - not something I would expect everyday due to the high cost of long distance calls. Just the sound of their voices was enough to cheer me up. I guess God knew that I needed some cheering up, and nudged them to give me a call.
Another piece of good news is that City of Hope was ranked #1 in transplant success rate in the US. They measure the success rate by the survival rate. Apparently, even if most of their patients have medium to high risk, the result is still more successful than in other institutions with less risky transplants. I am so glad I am in the capable hands of the doctors and other caregivers here. Can I sign up to be their poster child for the longest survival rate? :-)
Today, I finally force myself out of bed just to get my body moving. I try to do a little exercise, but I'm so lazy! Nothing seems interesting to me anymore - not reading, exercising, computer games, or even playing on the harp. Just feeling blah! According to the nurse, everybody eventually feels blah.
I think I know what is wrong. I think I am physically and spiritually sick. I know in my mind that I should be praying more and reading the bible more, but somehow I manage to distract myself from doing so. Please pray that I will be given the spiritual strength to resist the temptations,
According to the doctor, the symptoms will last for another week. Then, as my body starts getting stronger, that is when we will see if there is any rejection. I sincerely hope that there will not be any major rejection.
Please continue to pray for our family, that we will remain positive and happy throughout this challenge, and that we will be given extra strength, courage and faith. Please also pray that I will be better able to tolerate the side effects, and that the doctors and nurses will have the wisdom to do the right thing, and that I will be on my way to a speedy recovery.
Thank you so much for your prayers, and may God continue to bless you and your family.
One medication made my glucose go way up, so they had to give me another pill to bring it down. Another med also sent my triglicerides way up. They could not bring it down fast enough with pills, so they now want me to have a plasma exchange. That means using this big machine to take out my plasma with the triglicerides and replace it with good plasma containing albumin. Unfortunately, I have such thin veins that they could not get the needle into my vein. The doctor says they'll give me another pill, but if it doesn't work, they will have to put a catheter to my side for the plasma exchange. Whoopee, more needles! Not!
What can I do? I just want to get all these over and done with. I have asked the nurse if there is any medication that I can take so I can just go to sleep until everything is over. Just wishful thinking. How about time travel? That will be a good use of the technology. Or maybe parking my body in the hospital while they do the repairs, and my spirit can go on a nice vacation. :-)
Well, as bad as things were, I had some wonderful surprises this weekend. I was able to spend some time on the phone with some of my dearest and oldest friends. It was such a surprise, because they were calling from Australia and Manila - not something I would expect everyday due to the high cost of long distance calls. Just the sound of their voices was enough to cheer me up. I guess God knew that I needed some cheering up, and nudged them to give me a call.
Another piece of good news is that City of Hope was ranked #1 in transplant success rate in the US. They measure the success rate by the survival rate. Apparently, even if most of their patients have medium to high risk, the result is still more successful than in other institutions with less risky transplants. I am so glad I am in the capable hands of the doctors and other caregivers here. Can I sign up to be their poster child for the longest survival rate? :-)
Today, I finally force myself out of bed just to get my body moving. I try to do a little exercise, but I'm so lazy! Nothing seems interesting to me anymore - not reading, exercising, computer games, or even playing on the harp. Just feeling blah! According to the nurse, everybody eventually feels blah.
I think I know what is wrong. I think I am physically and spiritually sick. I know in my mind that I should be praying more and reading the bible more, but somehow I manage to distract myself from doing so. Please pray that I will be given the spiritual strength to resist the temptations,
According to the doctor, the symptoms will last for another week. Then, as my body starts getting stronger, that is when we will see if there is any rejection. I sincerely hope that there will not be any major rejection.
Please continue to pray for our family, that we will remain positive and happy throughout this challenge, and that we will be given extra strength, courage and faith. Please also pray that I will be better able to tolerate the side effects, and that the doctors and nurses will have the wisdom to do the right thing, and that I will be on my way to a speedy recovery.
Thank you so much for your prayers, and may God continue to bless you and your family.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
8/5/2010 - 2 Days After Transplant
I thought I would feel very different after the transplant, but I don't. It was actually quite uneventful. The nurse came in with what looked like a bag of blood. I thought I was going to get another blood transfusion. Turns out it was the bag of stem cells (225 ml). I was given some medication, then they just connected the stem cells to the IV, just like a regular blood transfusion. About 3 hours later, it was over.
I feel tired and nauseous these days. Mostly because my blood count is down to nothing, and I am still experiencing the side effects of radiation and chemo. I also have a mild case of diarrhea. The doctor had put me on a no-food diet. I am given nutrients via IV. I am allowed to drink water and other clear liquids, but that is all. The doctor said there is no point in eating anything solid, because it will just irritate my GI tract. It takes 2 weeks for the cells in my mouth and GI tract to start coming back up. My blood count will also stay low during this time. That means no real food until then. I stopped watching the Food Channel so I feel won't so jealous, or worse, start drooling. :-)
I am looking forward to the time when my blood count will start going up again. Because that means I will be going home soon! I miss my family so much. Spending an hour with them a day is not enough. Even when they are here, they are required to wear a mask and gloves. Makes it difficult to kiss those yummy cheeks. Oh well, at least I get to spend time with them.
In case you're wondering, my family is doing fine. The kids are in summer camp. They enjoy the activities there. On days when they would rather not go on a field trip, they get to have fun with Ninang Cristina and her family or stay at home with daddy. Rob's boss is very understanding. He allows Rob to work from home whenever he needs to. Rob also gets by with help from friends who would bring food to the house and help with groceries.
Thank you for your prayers. I know that the Lord is watching over me, and giving me special protection from all the potential harsh side effects and rejection. I trust that He is listening to all our prayers, and He is granting our requests everyday. Miracles are happening everyday. Unfortunately, they are mostly invisible.
"The Lord is near to all who call upon Him, to all who call upon Him in truth. He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him, He will also hear their cry and save them." Psalm 145:18-19
Thank you all once again for your prayers and may God continue to bless you and your family!
I feel tired and nauseous these days. Mostly because my blood count is down to nothing, and I am still experiencing the side effects of radiation and chemo. I also have a mild case of diarrhea. The doctor had put me on a no-food diet. I am given nutrients via IV. I am allowed to drink water and other clear liquids, but that is all. The doctor said there is no point in eating anything solid, because it will just irritate my GI tract. It takes 2 weeks for the cells in my mouth and GI tract to start coming back up. My blood count will also stay low during this time. That means no real food until then. I stopped watching the Food Channel so I feel won't so jealous, or worse, start drooling. :-)
I am looking forward to the time when my blood count will start going up again. Because that means I will be going home soon! I miss my family so much. Spending an hour with them a day is not enough. Even when they are here, they are required to wear a mask and gloves. Makes it difficult to kiss those yummy cheeks. Oh well, at least I get to spend time with them.
In case you're wondering, my family is doing fine. The kids are in summer camp. They enjoy the activities there. On days when they would rather not go on a field trip, they get to have fun with Ninang Cristina and her family or stay at home with daddy. Rob's boss is very understanding. He allows Rob to work from home whenever he needs to. Rob also gets by with help from friends who would bring food to the house and help with groceries.
Thank you for your prayers. I know that the Lord is watching over me, and giving me special protection from all the potential harsh side effects and rejection. I trust that He is listening to all our prayers, and He is granting our requests everyday. Miracles are happening everyday. Unfortunately, they are mostly invisible.
"The Lord is near to all who call upon Him, to all who call upon Him in truth. He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him, He will also hear their cry and save them." Psalm 145:18-19
Thank you all once again for your prayers and may God continue to bless you and your family!
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
8/3/2010 - Getting Transplant Today
The stem cells arrived a day early, so they had to give me the transplant today. Yikes! Not that it made much difference, but I am just concerned about the effects of transplant. I should have more faith that all will go well, but I cannot shake all the warnings I have received from the nurse coordinator. They are always careful to explain to the patient about all the risks involved. I guess in this society where people and institutions can be sued for anything and everything, they are just doing their due diligence to prevent unnecessary lawsuits.
I remember a verse in the Psalms where David was praying for deliverance, and he was encouraged when he remembered how God had always delivered him in the past. I should learn to do the same. Just recently, God had protected me from the harsh effects of radiation and chemotherapy. I am sure he is also able to protect me from the negative effects of the transplant. Please pray that I will be given extra faith and strength for what I will be going through.
The transplant will be given in a couple of hours. So, I better get going. I want to make sure I get some exercise while I can, then I have a few phone calls to make, and I also want to spend more time with the Lord, my comfort, my rock and my salvation.
Thank you for your prayers and may God continue to bless you and your family!
I remember a verse in the Psalms where David was praying for deliverance, and he was encouraged when he remembered how God had always delivered him in the past. I should learn to do the same. Just recently, God had protected me from the harsh effects of radiation and chemotherapy. I am sure he is also able to protect me from the negative effects of the transplant. Please pray that I will be given extra faith and strength for what I will be going through.
The transplant will be given in a couple of hours. So, I better get going. I want to make sure I get some exercise while I can, then I have a few phone calls to make, and I also want to spend more time with the Lord, my comfort, my rock and my salvation.
Thank you for your prayers and may God continue to bless you and your family!
Monday, August 2, 2010
8/2/2010 - Almost There
I had high-dose chemo the last two days. Boy, they wiped me out! I was sleeping most of both days. I still feel nauseous because of the chemo, so my appetite is gone. The doctor will have food given to me via IV starting tonight. This is quite common, because most people cannot keep the food down after going through all the stuff I've been through.
I still feel tired now, but I had to force myself out of bed. Apparently, it is not good to be in bed all the time. I just wanted to stay in bed and play on my cell phone. But, I had to force myself out of bed to do some mild exercises so I can get more oxygen to flow through my body. I generally feel better after doing some exercise.
I am now a walking pharmacy. I have more medication going through my body than food. There are a couple of antibiotics, anti-fungal, heparin, IV fluids, immune suppressants, medication to protect my kidney and to protect my mouth and GI tract. And once in a while, I also get platelets and blood as needed.
I'm back to my G.I. Jane look. It took nine months to grow my hair to an acceptable length and now it's back to nothing. At least, this time, Rob didn't have to shave it off. The hospital had a professional come do it for me. I am continually amazed at the breadth of care they provide at this hospital. It doesn't matter to me at this time that I have no hair. It's not like I'm not going anywhere soon. I will most likely be here until mid-September. After that, I will just be holed up at home except for short trips to the grocery or pharmacy. By the time I can freely go anywhere without a mask, my hair might have grown back.
In spite of what I am going through, I am still thankful that things are as good as they are. The doctor is always pleased that I am doing as well as I am. They also gave me a medal for completing the 11 rounds of radiation. Nice touch.
Please pray that my body will be ready to receive the new stem cells on Wednesday with minimal rejection. Please also pray that the doctors and nurses will have the wisdom to give me the best care. Once again, please pray that my family and I will continue to be positive and happy throughout this challenge.
Thank you very much for your prayers and may God continue to bless you and your family.
I still feel tired now, but I had to force myself out of bed. Apparently, it is not good to be in bed all the time. I just wanted to stay in bed and play on my cell phone. But, I had to force myself out of bed to do some mild exercises so I can get more oxygen to flow through my body. I generally feel better after doing some exercise.
I am now a walking pharmacy. I have more medication going through my body than food. There are a couple of antibiotics, anti-fungal, heparin, IV fluids, immune suppressants, medication to protect my kidney and to protect my mouth and GI tract. And once in a while, I also get platelets and blood as needed.
I'm back to my G.I. Jane look. It took nine months to grow my hair to an acceptable length and now it's back to nothing. At least, this time, Rob didn't have to shave it off. The hospital had a professional come do it for me. I am continually amazed at the breadth of care they provide at this hospital. It doesn't matter to me at this time that I have no hair. It's not like I'm not going anywhere soon. I will most likely be here until mid-September. After that, I will just be holed up at home except for short trips to the grocery or pharmacy. By the time I can freely go anywhere without a mask, my hair might have grown back.
In spite of what I am going through, I am still thankful that things are as good as they are. The doctor is always pleased that I am doing as well as I am. They also gave me a medal for completing the 11 rounds of radiation. Nice touch.
Please pray that my body will be ready to receive the new stem cells on Wednesday with minimal rejection. Please also pray that the doctors and nurses will have the wisdom to give me the best care. Once again, please pray that my family and I will continue to be positive and happy throughout this challenge.
Thank you very much for your prayers and may God continue to bless you and your family.
Friday, July 30, 2010
7/30/2010 - Radiation, Day 4
I am supposed to be done with radiation treatments today. However, because the radiation machine was out of commission on Tuesday morning and this afternoon, some of my treatments were rescheduled. I have one more radiation treatment left. So far, I have tolerated the treatments well. I am very grateful that I did not have any serious side effects. My skin is darker now - free tanning! Wish it looks as good as a real tan, though. :-( I feel tired, but far from being fatigued. My appetite is not as good as it used to be, but I started with a big appetite anyway. ha! ha! My neighbors were kind enough to bring me some food a few times, and I totally enjoyed them. Overall, it has been such a blessing. Thank you for your prayers. God is answering our prayers everyday. God is so good!
I will have a radiation treatment tomorrow morning, followed by the first dose of chemo. The second dose will be given on Sunday. I am concerned about the side effects from chemo. Apparently, it may be harsh on the bladder. There may also be some jaw pain, hiccups and a loss of the sense of taste. Then, there's the usual risk of sore mouth and nausea.
On Monday and Tuesday, they will give me medication to suppress whatever is left of my my immune system. The doctor is thinking of giving me food via IV starting Monday, depending on my ability to eat regular food and to keep it down.
The big day is on Wednesday, when they give me the donor's stem cells. Then, it is anybody's guess as to how much rejection I will experience. This is the scariest part of the transplant for me. I try not to think of all the things that may go wrong. I just keep telling myself to take things one day at a time, and to pray for God's mercy throughout the process.
Please continue to pray for me and my family. Please pray that there will be minimal side effects from the remaining radiation and from chemo. Please also pray for extra strength, faith and grace for my family. Lastly, please pray that my body will be ready to receive the new stem cells, and that there will be minimal rejection.
Thank you so much for you prayers. May God continue to bless you and your family.
I will have a radiation treatment tomorrow morning, followed by the first dose of chemo. The second dose will be given on Sunday. I am concerned about the side effects from chemo. Apparently, it may be harsh on the bladder. There may also be some jaw pain, hiccups and a loss of the sense of taste. Then, there's the usual risk of sore mouth and nausea.
On Monday and Tuesday, they will give me medication to suppress whatever is left of my my immune system. The doctor is thinking of giving me food via IV starting Monday, depending on my ability to eat regular food and to keep it down.
The big day is on Wednesday, when they give me the donor's stem cells. Then, it is anybody's guess as to how much rejection I will experience. This is the scariest part of the transplant for me. I try not to think of all the things that may go wrong. I just keep telling myself to take things one day at a time, and to pray for God's mercy throughout the process.
Please continue to pray for me and my family. Please pray that there will be minimal side effects from the remaining radiation and from chemo. Please also pray for extra strength, faith and grace for my family. Lastly, please pray that my body will be ready to receive the new stem cells, and that there will be minimal rejection.
Thank you so much for you prayers. May God continue to bless you and your family.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
7/28/1020 - Radiation, Day 2
The radiation machine was down this morning, so instead of getting three rounds of radiation today, I only got two. I will have a make up session on day 4.
Thankfully, the radiation went smoothly again today. I was a little tired after the first round, but felt better after taking a short nap. So far, so good. I am hopeful that the next two days will be as uneventful as today.
There were some minor side effects from the radiation. Some parts of my skin felt sore and they look like they got sunburned. The nurse gave me a gel to help it heal. I also get rashes everyday because of one of the medications. Thankfully, they don't itch. The doctor says I really need the medication, so they will keep giving it to me unless it makes me feel very uncomfortable. These minor side effects are okay with me. I am very thankful for how things are going.
A funny thing happened during my second radiation treatment today. While listening to Les Mis, I got really emotional when Eponine (Lea Salonga) sang "On My Own". I didn't know that the technicians were observing me from a small window to make sure I was okay. They got worried when they noticed that I was starting to cry. The speaker in the room went on and they quickly asked if everything was okay. I was a little embarrassed to tell them that everything was fine and that I just got emotional with the music. :-\
That is all for today. The best part of my day is about to begin. I can hear my girls' voices outside my room. Family time!
Thank you so very much for your prayers, and may God continue to bless you and your family!
Thankfully, the radiation went smoothly again today. I was a little tired after the first round, but felt better after taking a short nap. So far, so good. I am hopeful that the next two days will be as uneventful as today.
There were some minor side effects from the radiation. Some parts of my skin felt sore and they look like they got sunburned. The nurse gave me a gel to help it heal. I also get rashes everyday because of one of the medications. Thankfully, they don't itch. The doctor says I really need the medication, so they will keep giving it to me unless it makes me feel very uncomfortable. These minor side effects are okay with me. I am very thankful for how things are going.
A funny thing happened during my second radiation treatment today. While listening to Les Mis, I got really emotional when Eponine (Lea Salonga) sang "On My Own". I didn't know that the technicians were observing me from a small window to make sure I was okay. They got worried when they noticed that I was starting to cry. The speaker in the room went on and they quickly asked if everything was okay. I was a little embarrassed to tell them that everything was fine and that I just got emotional with the music. :-\
That is all for today. The best part of my day is about to begin. I can hear my girls' voices outside my room. Family time!
Thank you so very much for your prayers, and may God continue to bless you and your family!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
7/27/2010 - Radiation, Day 1
This is such an encouragement. My doctor just came in to see how I fared after my first day of radiation and saw me smiling. He said it is a good sign, and that the rest of the radiation therapy could be as good as today. May God let it be so.
I've never had radiation therapy until today. It is a full body radiation, so I had to stand in front of a radiation equipment for about 11 minutes at a time. The purpose is to wipe out the cells in my bone marrow. The technicians had to strap me to a harness to prevent me from falling should I lose my balance or fall asleep (snore!). I had three rounds of radiation spaced 4 hours apart. It could have been quite boring, but I brought my Les Miserables CD for entertainment. During radiation, I just closed my eyes and allowed myself to be transported to a theater watching Les Mis. I was blessed to have seen it twice in London. The last time was with Rob during our second honeymoon (aw!).
As much as I enjoyed the musical, I would zoom in and out of the show, because I was also praying for God to let the radiation do its job. I also prayed that He would shield the different parts of my body from the negative effects of radiation - brains, eyes, thyroid, mouth, throat, GI tract, spleen, liver, kidneys, ovaries and lungs.
I am positive that all your prayers were instrumental in making the radiation as uneventful as it was. I felt a bit nauseous, but it quickly went away. I also feel tired, but it was a busy day. I had to be wheeled to another building for radiation each time, and I had a few people from the hospital who stopped in for a visit. I am hopeful that the rest of the radiation and chemo will be uneventful. It will be a testament to the goodness of God and the power of prayer.
Thank you so much for your prayers and may God continue to bless you and your family!
I've never had radiation therapy until today. It is a full body radiation, so I had to stand in front of a radiation equipment for about 11 minutes at a time. The purpose is to wipe out the cells in my bone marrow. The technicians had to strap me to a harness to prevent me from falling should I lose my balance or fall asleep (snore!). I had three rounds of radiation spaced 4 hours apart. It could have been quite boring, but I brought my Les Miserables CD for entertainment. During radiation, I just closed my eyes and allowed myself to be transported to a theater watching Les Mis. I was blessed to have seen it twice in London. The last time was with Rob during our second honeymoon (aw!).
As much as I enjoyed the musical, I would zoom in and out of the show, because I was also praying for God to let the radiation do its job. I also prayed that He would shield the different parts of my body from the negative effects of radiation - brains, eyes, thyroid, mouth, throat, GI tract, spleen, liver, kidneys, ovaries and lungs.
I am positive that all your prayers were instrumental in making the radiation as uneventful as it was. I felt a bit nauseous, but it quickly went away. I also feel tired, but it was a busy day. I had to be wheeled to another building for radiation each time, and I had a few people from the hospital who stopped in for a visit. I am hopeful that the rest of the radiation and chemo will be uneventful. It will be a testament to the goodness of God and the power of prayer.
Thank you so much for your prayers and may God continue to bless you and your family!
Sunday, July 25, 2010
7/24/2010 – Transplant Work-up Begins
We received the donor clearance yesterday. This means that the donor has passed all the physical exams. We can now expect to use his stem cells for my transplant. Thank God. May God bless the donor for his selfless act!
The transplant schedule begins with a "work-up" that lasts 11 days. I am being given medication for 3 days to thicken my mouth and GI lining. This will reduce the chances of getting mouth sores and GI tract disorder due to radiation and chemotherapy. The grueling part of the work-up begins on Tuesday, 7/27, with 11 rounds of low-dose radiation spread over 4 days, followed by 2 days of high-dose chemotherapy. I was warned that I may be fatigued that week. This will be followed by more medication to suppress my immune system. There is a laundry list of potential side effects and risks with all the treatments and medication. Gulp! It was scared when I first heard about them.
August 4 is the day when I will be given stem cells from the donor via IV. It only takes a few hours, but it will change my life forever. I was told to expect to stay in the hospital for about 6 weeks from 8/4. The hospital will once again be "home" to me for a while.
Once the transplant is done, it is all about damage control. The medical team will be managing side effects and any Graft versus Host Disease (GVHD) that may occur from the transplant. Anything and everything can go wrong depending on the severity of the GVHD. It can even be fatal. As usual, my blood count will go down to nothing and I will be susceptible to infection. Multiple blood and platelet transfusion can be expected. The coming weeks may be the toughest weeks in my life. I can use all the prayers I can get. Please pray that the treatments and medication will not have side effects, and that there will be minimal rejection (GVHD).
The critical period for the transplant is 100 days. Most problems occur within 100 days of the transplant, so please keep praying for me until at least mid-November. Longer is better, of course. :-)
The official term for what I will be going through is "hematopoetic transplant" (a.k.a stem cell transplant). Hematopoetic transplant refers to the process of kicking the donor's stem cells to his blood through medication, doing a reverse blood transfusion to collect the blood, harvesting the stem cells, and returning the blood to the donor via blood transfusion. It is all very amazing and high-tech. The stem cells are then flown to the US and given to me via IV. It is all very amazing and high-tech. Thank God for technological advances in medicine. But most of all, thank God for people who have signed up to be donors. What a blessing they are!
I am feeling much better since the last couple of days. I try not to think of all the things that could go wrong, and just focus on what's going right each day. I can only take things one day at a time, and hope and pray for the best. I made some progress on the harp. Katie learned to play a few pieces, too. Ellie brings me her projects from summer camp everyday, so now my room looks like her art gallery with a few contributions from Katie! No complaints here. My room looks cheerful with all their artwork. Once again, I am so thankful that we live close to the hospital so I can see my family almost everyday.
I lost my room with the mountain view, because they had to move me to the transplant floor. At first, I felt sad not to have a the full mountain view from my new room. But when I realized that I have a partial mountain view anyway, plus I can see trees in Arcadia and a view of the buildings in downtown LA, I was happy. It feels like I am somewhat connected to my family when I look at the trees in our area, and to Rob when I see the building he works in in downtown LA. Perhaps I can send them my love through the air or via mental telepathy. :-)
That is all for now. You don't know how grateful I am for all your prayers. Just knowing that there are people out there interceding for me and my family is such an encouragement. I believe in the power of prayer and the goodness of God.
Thank you again for your prayers and may God continue to bless you and your family!
The transplant schedule begins with a "work-up" that lasts 11 days. I am being given medication for 3 days to thicken my mouth and GI lining. This will reduce the chances of getting mouth sores and GI tract disorder due to radiation and chemotherapy. The grueling part of the work-up begins on Tuesday, 7/27, with 11 rounds of low-dose radiation spread over 4 days, followed by 2 days of high-dose chemotherapy. I was warned that I may be fatigued that week. This will be followed by more medication to suppress my immune system. There is a laundry list of potential side effects and risks with all the treatments and medication. Gulp! It was scared when I first heard about them.
August 4 is the day when I will be given stem cells from the donor via IV. It only takes a few hours, but it will change my life forever. I was told to expect to stay in the hospital for about 6 weeks from 8/4. The hospital will once again be "home" to me for a while.
Once the transplant is done, it is all about damage control. The medical team will be managing side effects and any Graft versus Host Disease (GVHD) that may occur from the transplant. Anything and everything can go wrong depending on the severity of the GVHD. It can even be fatal. As usual, my blood count will go down to nothing and I will be susceptible to infection. Multiple blood and platelet transfusion can be expected. The coming weeks may be the toughest weeks in my life. I can use all the prayers I can get. Please pray that the treatments and medication will not have side effects, and that there will be minimal rejection (GVHD).
The critical period for the transplant is 100 days. Most problems occur within 100 days of the transplant, so please keep praying for me until at least mid-November. Longer is better, of course. :-)
The official term for what I will be going through is "hematopoetic transplant" (a.k.a stem cell transplant). Hematopoetic transplant refers to the process of kicking the donor's stem cells to his blood through medication, doing a reverse blood transfusion to collect the blood, harvesting the stem cells, and returning the blood to the donor via blood transfusion. It is all very amazing and high-tech. The stem cells are then flown to the US and given to me via IV. It is all very amazing and high-tech. Thank God for technological advances in medicine. But most of all, thank God for people who have signed up to be donors. What a blessing they are!
I am feeling much better since the last couple of days. I try not to think of all the things that could go wrong, and just focus on what's going right each day. I can only take things one day at a time, and hope and pray for the best. I made some progress on the harp. Katie learned to play a few pieces, too. Ellie brings me her projects from summer camp everyday, so now my room looks like her art gallery with a few contributions from Katie! No complaints here. My room looks cheerful with all their artwork. Once again, I am so thankful that we live close to the hospital so I can see my family almost everyday.
I lost my room with the mountain view, because they had to move me to the transplant floor. At first, I felt sad not to have a the full mountain view from my new room. But when I realized that I have a partial mountain view anyway, plus I can see trees in Arcadia and a view of the buildings in downtown LA, I was happy. It feels like I am somewhat connected to my family when I look at the trees in our area, and to Rob when I see the building he works in in downtown LA. Perhaps I can send them my love through the air or via mental telepathy. :-)
That is all for now. You don't know how grateful I am for all your prayers. Just knowing that there are people out there interceding for me and my family is such an encouragement. I believe in the power of prayer and the goodness of God.
Thank you again for your prayers and may God continue to bless you and your family!
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
7/21/2010 – Relief
As most people in the US are getting relief from heat waves across the nation, I have my own share of relief. Not from the seething weather outside, though. The weather in my room is a constant 71 degrees. The relief I got was from the biopsy result. The liver biopsy came out clean! Whew! I am so happy to hear that from the doctor just now. I was not sure how I would react if the result came out bad. Thank God it was good.
I have been feeling lazy and blah the last few days. I was feeling fine earlier on, even learned to play a few pieces on the harp. I think it all started after my radiology consultation. They told me about all the potential risks and side effects of radiation. Then, the nurse coordinator for my transplant also told me about what to expect with the transplant – not many good things. Then, the doctor wanted to have a biopsy of my liver. It was all too overwhelming.
Now that I think about it, I might have also been mourning the end of my somewhat carefree life. In a few short days, I will be physically prepared to have the transplant. This includes giving me various medications to manage side effects and prevent Graft Versus Host Diseas (GVHD), 4 days of radiation and 3 days of intense chemotherapy. Mouth sores and GI tract problems are to be expected, I was warned by the nurse coordinator. Yikes! Then, comes the transplant.
The transplant is tentatively scheduled for August 5. My life will not be the same again after that. I have lived a relatively carefree life. I enjoyed much of what life had to offer without worrying about my health. This changed somewhat last year, after having Leukemia. After the transplant, this carefree attitude may be replaced by paranoia. With the prospect of having cataract, thyroid and lung problems, leukemia relapse, secondary forms of cancer, liver and kidney problems, all due to the treatments received for and during transplant, I will have to figure out how I can live the rest of my life responsibly without being overly cautious to the point of not enjoying life anymore. Life is too short not to make the most of it and enjoy it as best we can. I guess I will have to learn as I go.
With the good news from the doctor, I am feeling better already. We’re expecting to receive the donor clearance tomorrow. Then, they will finalize my schedule. I am bracing myself for the regimen I will be going through in the coming weeks. I was advised to load up on protein, because it is the building block for cellular growth - learning something new everyday!
I will post my treatment schedule once it is official. Please do continue to pray for me. I need your prayers now more than ever. The BMT is going to be very intense, with many potential side effects and many risks involved. Please pray that my body will be able to tolerate the medications and treatments well, and that there will be minimal side effects and GVHD. Please also pray that my family and I will continue to be happy and have a positive attitude throughout the whole process, and may we be given extra strength, faith, grace and mercy throughout these coming weeks.
Thank you again for your prayers and may God continue to bless you and your family.
I have been feeling lazy and blah the last few days. I was feeling fine earlier on, even learned to play a few pieces on the harp. I think it all started after my radiology consultation. They told me about all the potential risks and side effects of radiation. Then, the nurse coordinator for my transplant also told me about what to expect with the transplant – not many good things. Then, the doctor wanted to have a biopsy of my liver. It was all too overwhelming.
Now that I think about it, I might have also been mourning the end of my somewhat carefree life. In a few short days, I will be physically prepared to have the transplant. This includes giving me various medications to manage side effects and prevent Graft Versus Host Diseas (GVHD), 4 days of radiation and 3 days of intense chemotherapy. Mouth sores and GI tract problems are to be expected, I was warned by the nurse coordinator. Yikes! Then, comes the transplant.
The transplant is tentatively scheduled for August 5. My life will not be the same again after that. I have lived a relatively carefree life. I enjoyed much of what life had to offer without worrying about my health. This changed somewhat last year, after having Leukemia. After the transplant, this carefree attitude may be replaced by paranoia. With the prospect of having cataract, thyroid and lung problems, leukemia relapse, secondary forms of cancer, liver and kidney problems, all due to the treatments received for and during transplant, I will have to figure out how I can live the rest of my life responsibly without being overly cautious to the point of not enjoying life anymore. Life is too short not to make the most of it and enjoy it as best we can. I guess I will have to learn as I go.
With the good news from the doctor, I am feeling better already. We’re expecting to receive the donor clearance tomorrow. Then, they will finalize my schedule. I am bracing myself for the regimen I will be going through in the coming weeks. I was advised to load up on protein, because it is the building block for cellular growth - learning something new everyday!
I will post my treatment schedule once it is official. Please do continue to pray for me. I need your prayers now more than ever. The BMT is going to be very intense, with many potential side effects and many risks involved. Please pray that my body will be able to tolerate the medications and treatments well, and that there will be minimal side effects and GVHD. Please also pray that my family and I will continue to be happy and have a positive attitude throughout the whole process, and may we be given extra strength, faith, grace and mercy throughout these coming weeks.
Thank you again for your prayers and may God continue to bless you and your family.
Friday, July 16, 2010
7/16/2010 - What a Week!
First, the good news: The bone marrow biopsy came out clean. Thank you, Lord! Thank you for your prayers, too, of course.
Next, the bad-to-good news: The mild fever I had last Saturday afternoon turned ugly that night. My fever shot up to over 39 degrees, and would have stayed there if it weren’t for Tylenol. Every four hours, I would seesaw between shivering because of the high temperature and sweating once Tylenol sets in. By Monday, they figured out that I had strep infection possibly from the catheter on my arm. They removed the catheter and gave me the right antibiotic. My fever slowly came down after that. Whew!
Some bad things happen due to no fault of ours. Unfortunately, I think this is not one of those cases. One of the things I did to entertain myself here is to play games in my Blackberry, specifically Sudoku and Word Mole. Before coming to the hospital, I have always been careful NOT to play any computer games because I know how addicted I can get when I start enjoying a game. In the past, I would play so much that my grades at school would begin to head south or my work would begin to suffer. At that point, I would stop cold turkey to save my future. I would have signed up for “Gamers Anonymous” if there is such a thing. :-)
With so much time on my hands in the hospital, I thought it will be safe to indulge myself with a game or two. Wrong! I ended up spending most days just playing and giving myself eye strain and headaches. Even worse, I think it might have led to a series of other minor but annoying things that went wrong before and during the fever. By Sunday night, with my fever burning, I was so tired that all I could do was stay in bed and do nothing. That was when I realized that God may be trying to tell me something. I also realized that since I started playing, I have been doing too much playing and not much praying! Oh, no! Of course God was not pleased. Those silly games have taken over my precious time with Him. Got it, Boss! I’m sorry! No more playing! Actually, it was tough to pray that night knowing how much I have offended the Lord. I am just glad that we have a God who is slow to anger and quick to forgive. The following day, they found out that strep was causing the fever and they were able to treat it. Hallelujah!
Now for the bad news: The hospital is putting me through a series of tests to make sure that I don’t have anything else going on that may badly interfere with the transplant. So far I had chest x-rays, EKG, echocardiogram and CT scan. They saw a small lesion in my liver during the CT scan. After an MRI and liver scan, they still couldn’t figure out what it is, so the doctor wants me to have a biopsy on Tuesday. It could be as bad as a liver cancer, something totally benign or many other things in between. Please pray that I will have a clean biopsy on Tuesday. I certainly do not need any more challenges.
My blood count has not gone up at all from the bottom. It probably didn’t have a chance to inch up because the few good cells I left had to fight the infection. It was like a few brave men fighting an army until the right antibiotic came to the rescue.
Please keep praying that my blood count will go back to normal and that I will not have any other infections from here on. Please also pray that they will not find anything else wrong with me, and that the biopsy on Tuesday will come out clean. Lastly, please pray that Rob will have the strength and wisdom for his new role as Superdad, and that all of us will remain happy throughout this new adventure.
Thank you very much once again for your prayers and may God continue to bless you and your family.
Next, the bad-to-good news: The mild fever I had last Saturday afternoon turned ugly that night. My fever shot up to over 39 degrees, and would have stayed there if it weren’t for Tylenol. Every four hours, I would seesaw between shivering because of the high temperature and sweating once Tylenol sets in. By Monday, they figured out that I had strep infection possibly from the catheter on my arm. They removed the catheter and gave me the right antibiotic. My fever slowly came down after that. Whew!
Some bad things happen due to no fault of ours. Unfortunately, I think this is not one of those cases. One of the things I did to entertain myself here is to play games in my Blackberry, specifically Sudoku and Word Mole. Before coming to the hospital, I have always been careful NOT to play any computer games because I know how addicted I can get when I start enjoying a game. In the past, I would play so much that my grades at school would begin to head south or my work would begin to suffer. At that point, I would stop cold turkey to save my future. I would have signed up for “Gamers Anonymous” if there is such a thing. :-)
With so much time on my hands in the hospital, I thought it will be safe to indulge myself with a game or two. Wrong! I ended up spending most days just playing and giving myself eye strain and headaches. Even worse, I think it might have led to a series of other minor but annoying things that went wrong before and during the fever. By Sunday night, with my fever burning, I was so tired that all I could do was stay in bed and do nothing. That was when I realized that God may be trying to tell me something. I also realized that since I started playing, I have been doing too much playing and not much praying! Oh, no! Of course God was not pleased. Those silly games have taken over my precious time with Him. Got it, Boss! I’m sorry! No more playing! Actually, it was tough to pray that night knowing how much I have offended the Lord. I am just glad that we have a God who is slow to anger and quick to forgive. The following day, they found out that strep was causing the fever and they were able to treat it. Hallelujah!
Now for the bad news: The hospital is putting me through a series of tests to make sure that I don’t have anything else going on that may badly interfere with the transplant. So far I had chest x-rays, EKG, echocardiogram and CT scan. They saw a small lesion in my liver during the CT scan. After an MRI and liver scan, they still couldn’t figure out what it is, so the doctor wants me to have a biopsy on Tuesday. It could be as bad as a liver cancer, something totally benign or many other things in between. Please pray that I will have a clean biopsy on Tuesday. I certainly do not need any more challenges.
My blood count has not gone up at all from the bottom. It probably didn’t have a chance to inch up because the few good cells I left had to fight the infection. It was like a few brave men fighting an army until the right antibiotic came to the rescue.
Please keep praying that my blood count will go back to normal and that I will not have any other infections from here on. Please also pray that they will not find anything else wrong with me, and that the biopsy on Tuesday will come out clean. Lastly, please pray that Rob will have the strength and wisdom for his new role as Superdad, and that all of us will remain happy throughout this new adventure.
Thank you very much once again for your prayers and may God continue to bless you and your family.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
7/10/2010 - Bone Marrow/Stem Cell Transplant
"Bless the LORD, O my soul,
And all that is within me, bless His (B)holy name.
Bless the LORD, O my soul,
And forget none of His benefits;
Who pardons all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases;
Who redeems your life from the pit,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion;
Who satisfies your years with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle." Psalm 103:1-5
This is such a beautiful psalm! I read it this morning, and I am reminded of God’s love and goodness. It is also comforting to be reminded that He is in control of my disease, and He can easily cure me if He wants to.
The hospital found a match for me. It is a 90% match, but the doctors think that it is good enough. They will just give me extra medication to reduce potential Graft Versus Host Disease (GVHD). GVHD is the biggest risk in any transplant. If my body rejects the new stem cells, it could lead to multiple and potentially fatal complications.
The donor is an international donor. The only things I was allowed to know are that he is a 22-yr old male with O+ blood type. I have A+ blood type. After the transplant, my blood type will become O+. Amazing, isn’t it? I don’t know how that happens, but I remain amazed at the complexity of the human body, and its ability to adapt to various situations.
Fortunately for me, I needed a donor when technology has allowed the hospital to search donor databases all over the world. The donor is now undergoing physical exam to make sure that he does not have any infectious diseases and that he is healthy enough to be a donor. I am glad the donor is a 22-yr old, because stem cells from younger people work better than stem cells from older people. One year after recovery, I can request to know who my donor is. Right now, I only have a picture of a selfless man who is willing to go through all the hassle to save the life of a total stranger. I marvel at the generosity of the human spirit.
The preparation for bone marrow transplant has started. The process involves a battery of tests – EKG, echocardiogram, CT scan, chest x-rays, blood tests, etc. Then, comes the difficult part: I will be given ultra high doses of radiation and chemotherapy to wipe out my bone marrow. I may not have the energy to post anything in my blog during that time. It starts on July 26. After that, I will be given immune suppressants for a few days.
The bone marrow transplant is scheduled for August 5. It takes only a few hours, and it is just like having blood transfusion. But the similarity ends there. There may be some form of GVHD, and they will treat the problems as they arise. I will be in critical condition during the first 100 days, because if anything were to go wrong, it usually happens during the first hundred days. My sister will come and help us out during the 100 days, and friends have also offered to help us during this time.
I am still in the hospital. I developed a mild fever this afternoon – not unusual. I may not be able to go home between now and the transplant if my blood count doesn’t go back to normal soon.
Please continue to pray for me and my family, and may God bless you and your family.
And all that is within me, bless His (B)holy name.
Bless the LORD, O my soul,
And forget none of His benefits;
Who pardons all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases;
Who redeems your life from the pit,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion;
Who satisfies your years with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle." Psalm 103:1-5
This is such a beautiful psalm! I read it this morning, and I am reminded of God’s love and goodness. It is also comforting to be reminded that He is in control of my disease, and He can easily cure me if He wants to.
The hospital found a match for me. It is a 90% match, but the doctors think that it is good enough. They will just give me extra medication to reduce potential Graft Versus Host Disease (GVHD). GVHD is the biggest risk in any transplant. If my body rejects the new stem cells, it could lead to multiple and potentially fatal complications.
The donor is an international donor. The only things I was allowed to know are that he is a 22-yr old male with O+ blood type. I have A+ blood type. After the transplant, my blood type will become O+. Amazing, isn’t it? I don’t know how that happens, but I remain amazed at the complexity of the human body, and its ability to adapt to various situations.
Fortunately for me, I needed a donor when technology has allowed the hospital to search donor databases all over the world. The donor is now undergoing physical exam to make sure that he does not have any infectious diseases and that he is healthy enough to be a donor. I am glad the donor is a 22-yr old, because stem cells from younger people work better than stem cells from older people. One year after recovery, I can request to know who my donor is. Right now, I only have a picture of a selfless man who is willing to go through all the hassle to save the life of a total stranger. I marvel at the generosity of the human spirit.
The preparation for bone marrow transplant has started. The process involves a battery of tests – EKG, echocardiogram, CT scan, chest x-rays, blood tests, etc. Then, comes the difficult part: I will be given ultra high doses of radiation and chemotherapy to wipe out my bone marrow. I may not have the energy to post anything in my blog during that time. It starts on July 26. After that, I will be given immune suppressants for a few days.
The bone marrow transplant is scheduled for August 5. It takes only a few hours, and it is just like having blood transfusion. But the similarity ends there. There may be some form of GVHD, and they will treat the problems as they arise. I will be in critical condition during the first 100 days, because if anything were to go wrong, it usually happens during the first hundred days. My sister will come and help us out during the 100 days, and friends have also offered to help us during this time.
I am still in the hospital. I developed a mild fever this afternoon – not unusual. I may not be able to go home between now and the transplant if my blood count doesn’t go back to normal soon.
Please continue to pray for me and my family, and may God bless you and your family.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
7/6/2010 - Here we go again
This is just like those action/suspense movies that make you hold your breath during the final chase scene. And just as you finally give out a sigh because the villain's dead, a hand reaches out from behind... Aaahhh! That was exactly how I felt when I heard the bad news. It took me a couple of days to get over the shock and numbness that came with the news. The "screaming" in my head has stopped.
I went for a check-up last month. The doctor was suspicious when she saw my platelets slightly below normal. She said it may just mean I am about to have my period. I thought that was exactly what it was. But just to be sure, the doctor scheduled another test 2 weeks later. When I went back for the test, my white blood count was more than 10x above the normal range - really bad sign. More tests that day confirmed it. I had a relapse, so the doctor sent me back to the hospital for chemotherapy on the 24th. This time, they used 3 drugs and it lasted 5 days. I will be kept in the hospital until my blood count goes back to normal - that's about 4 weeks.
How did this happen? I don't know. Did my going back to work so soon affect it? The doctor said that if the cancer cells are intent on coming back, going back to work or not will not have much effect on it. I'm thinking I might have pushed it a bit by trying to pack too much in my half days at work - bad habit.
The doctor had previously warned me that a bone marrow transplant will be necessary if there is a relapse. I guess this is God's way of telling me that I do need a bone marrow transplant. I was afraid of all the complications that may come with it, but now I have no choice. Just like the last bout with Leukemia, our family is counting on the prayers of family and friends to carry us through the treatments. We are leaving everything in the loving hands of God and taking things one day at a time.
As bad as thing are, things could be a lot worse. I am thankful for blessings that come my way everyday. I was able to tolerate this round of chemo better than the induction round I had last year - no fever, chicken pox, mouth sores or inflammation. Yay! Once again, I did not throw up or lose my appetite. This definitely helps in the recovery and prepares me for the harsher treatments that come with having a transplant. My hair will fall out again, but it's not a big deal. Things could be a lot worse. My family also gets to visit me in my room - the best part of my days! I did not realize what a blessing it was to be able to see my family everyday until I met patients who live far from the hospital or who have to fly in from out of state for treatments. They do not get to see their family very much
Other blessing include getting a room with the mountain view! I saw beautiful fireworks from my window during the 4th of July celebration. I am also quite blessed to have physical, musical and recreational therapy available in the hospital. When my counts are okay, I get to join group exercise classes and play poker or do something else with other patients. When the counts are low, a therapist goes to my room to guide me with exercises. A music therapist gives me CDs of therapeutic music (ever heard of music accupuncture?), and schedules musicians to play music in my room. We had a choir singing patriotic songs outside my room the other day. What beautiful voices! I may even get to learn to play the harp or a few pieces on the keyboard while I'm here. That would be fun.
The biggest blessing of all is to have family and friends helping us during these difficult times through prayers, words of encouragement, and giving us a hand with some of our chores. Cristina, Marlene, Nini and Nora have been specially helpful in keeping my family well-fed while the chef is taking an extended vacation in the hospital.
Please pray for my healing, that the hospital will find a suitable donor for me, that I will not have any side effects from the chemo, and that my blood count will go back to normal soon. Also pray that my family and I will remain happy throughout this period, and that Rob and I will have the extra strength, courage and faith to face the challenges ahead.
Thank you very much for your prayers and may God continue to bless you and your family.
I went for a check-up last month. The doctor was suspicious when she saw my platelets slightly below normal. She said it may just mean I am about to have my period. I thought that was exactly what it was. But just to be sure, the doctor scheduled another test 2 weeks later. When I went back for the test, my white blood count was more than 10x above the normal range - really bad sign. More tests that day confirmed it. I had a relapse, so the doctor sent me back to the hospital for chemotherapy on the 24th. This time, they used 3 drugs and it lasted 5 days. I will be kept in the hospital until my blood count goes back to normal - that's about 4 weeks.
How did this happen? I don't know. Did my going back to work so soon affect it? The doctor said that if the cancer cells are intent on coming back, going back to work or not will not have much effect on it. I'm thinking I might have pushed it a bit by trying to pack too much in my half days at work - bad habit.
The doctor had previously warned me that a bone marrow transplant will be necessary if there is a relapse. I guess this is God's way of telling me that I do need a bone marrow transplant. I was afraid of all the complications that may come with it, but now I have no choice. Just like the last bout with Leukemia, our family is counting on the prayers of family and friends to carry us through the treatments. We are leaving everything in the loving hands of God and taking things one day at a time.
As bad as thing are, things could be a lot worse. I am thankful for blessings that come my way everyday. I was able to tolerate this round of chemo better than the induction round I had last year - no fever, chicken pox, mouth sores or inflammation. Yay! Once again, I did not throw up or lose my appetite. This definitely helps in the recovery and prepares me for the harsher treatments that come with having a transplant. My hair will fall out again, but it's not a big deal. Things could be a lot worse. My family also gets to visit me in my room - the best part of my days! I did not realize what a blessing it was to be able to see my family everyday until I met patients who live far from the hospital or who have to fly in from out of state for treatments. They do not get to see their family very much
Other blessing include getting a room with the mountain view! I saw beautiful fireworks from my window during the 4th of July celebration. I am also quite blessed to have physical, musical and recreational therapy available in the hospital. When my counts are okay, I get to join group exercise classes and play poker or do something else with other patients. When the counts are low, a therapist goes to my room to guide me with exercises. A music therapist gives me CDs of therapeutic music (ever heard of music accupuncture?), and schedules musicians to play music in my room. We had a choir singing patriotic songs outside my room the other day. What beautiful voices! I may even get to learn to play the harp or a few pieces on the keyboard while I'm here. That would be fun.
The biggest blessing of all is to have family and friends helping us during these difficult times through prayers, words of encouragement, and giving us a hand with some of our chores. Cristina, Marlene, Nini and Nora have been specially helpful in keeping my family well-fed while the chef is taking an extended vacation in the hospital.
Please pray for my healing, that the hospital will find a suitable donor for me, that I will not have any side effects from the chemo, and that my blood count will go back to normal soon. Also pray that my family and I will remain happy throughout this period, and that Rob and I will have the extra strength, courage and faith to face the challenges ahead.
Thank you very much for your prayers and may God continue to bless you and your family.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
6/3/2010 - Au Revoir / Lessons Learned
Sorry for the long silence. I have gone back to work since last week, and have been mentally exhausted most days to write anything sensible.
One lesson I learned recently is that I need to do less. I realize now that it will take several months for my body to go back to its pre-leukemia state. When my body and brain shouts "Enough!" after only 4-5 hours of work, this is normal - for now. So, taking the cue from my body and brain, I have cut back my expectations and my work hours. But this is so difficult! I am so used to pushing myself that pulling back is totally unnatural for me. It feels like awakening an unused muscle in my brain, if there is such a thing. Oh well, this is good training for me in reducing stress.
This is my final blog entry. By the grace of God and through your prayers and support, we have come to the end of this journey with my healing and many blessings! It has truly been a wonderful adventure of the soul. There is no other way to experience certain truths except through trials - the PEACE that surpasses understanding, the JOY of being in God's presence in the midst of adversity, the amazing GRACE that is sufficient for all our trials, the power of PRAYER, the FAITH that heals the sick, and the LOVE of family and friends tested by time and trials. Looking back, I still think that I got more out of this trial than what it took out of me.
This experience was no walk in the park though. And since I believe in squeezing all I can learn out of a difficult situation, I would like to share some of the lessons I learned along the way. This way, I get to maximize the return on my painful "tuition fee". Here they are:
1) Priorities. Nothing clarifies our priorities better than seeing the end of one's life. As a Christian who was about to meet her Maker, the only thing I could think of was, "What will God say about me?" Everything that seemed important in life faded into the shadow of His majesty. At that point, I wished that I had done more for the Lord. And if I was given a chance to live longer, I knew that I want to spend more time with my family and love them more than I do. Be clear on one's priorities in life and live accordingly.
2) Prayer. Make the most of the amazing power of prayer. In addition to praying for ourselves, praying for others can change another person's circumstances. I am living proof of the power of intercessory prayers. Unleash the power of prayer for ourselves and others.
3) Blessings. I did not know that having Leukemia was a means to channel many blessings to me and my family. Many blessings come in ugly packages.
4) Planning for the future. I realized the I have spent too much time planning for retirement and too little time thinking about post-retirement. Ironically, I may not even live long enough to enjoy the retirement I was planning for, but I will definitely get into post-retirement mode sooner or later.
5) Investments. In terms of investing for the future, I realized that my best investments all these years have been whatever was given to the church or people in need. Their value never goes down and they more than double their value immediately. The value multiplies in terms of blessing the recipient and the giver, and they are credited to our bank account in heaven. Nothing can beat that kind of return.
6) Good health. In the fast food lifestyle that many of us have been accustomed to, I realized that I have often exchanged good health for convenience. In the long run, we may end up giving back all the time we saved by lying in some hospital bed somewhere or worse, with a shortened lifespan. I know better now.
7) Good health and cancer. Even though a healthy lifestyle does not guarantee a cancer-free life, it does make one better equipped to deal with the treatment(s). My doctors were relieved to know that I was in good health before I was diagnosed with Leukemia. It must have made their job less difficult.
8) Health Insurance. For those of us living in the US, having a good health insurance is so important. With the high cost of health care, we never know what could happen to our health that may wipe out our savings. So, be prepared.
9) Family. Our family is a gift from God. No matter what type of family one has, our family has helped shape us into who we are. They have been there for us through good times and bad. Once again, I am reminded of how blessed I am with my family. Remember to thank God for our family.
10) Friendship. Friendship is also a gift from God. We never truly realize our friends' value until we're "hit by a truck". I was amazed at how many of my friends have turned out to be such gems. My spirits have been lifted so much by the outpouring of love and support. Even friends I have not been in touch with in ages suddenly showed up with words of encouragement, prayers, and food (they know me well. ha! ha!). I really felt like I won the lottery. Remember to thank God for our friends.
11) Kindness. I realized that even small gestures of kindness mean a lot to people who are going through tough times.
12) Faith. This experience has deepened my faith in our loving God. Once again, I am reminded that even if His ways do not make sense to me, He loves me more than I can understand and He is in control. Trusting that He is doing whatever is best for me according to His purpose, and that all things will work out for good has helped me rest in His care. Faith has made a big difference in my battle with cancer - no tears of sadness but only tears of joy. To His glory!
My hope is that you get to experience the love of God through the saving grace in Jesus, the joy of being in God's presence, and the peace that comes from casting our cares upon Him and trusting that He will take care of us.
My family and I would like to extend our deepest gratitude to all of you who have come alongside us during these challenging months. Your prayers have been answered. Your food have been gratefully consumed (yum!). Your phone calls and emails have lifted my spirits. Your visits have brightened up my days. Your jokes, funny books and dvds were the best medicine. Your inspirational cds and books have comforted and inspired me. Your advice were appreciated. Your practical books saved me thousands of dollars. But most of all, your love and friendship will always be treasured in our hearts. I hope to see you all one day and thank you personally for contributing to my healing, and for making this adventure as spiritually enjoyable as it had been. May God continue to bless you and your family!
Let me close with one of my favorite hymns. (You're so lucky you cannot hear me sing this. :-)
My Tribute / To God be the Glory
How can I say thanks for the things You have done for me?
Things so undeserved, yet You give to prove your love for me.
The voices of a million angels, could not express my gratitude.
All that I am, or ever hope to be, I owe it all to Thee.
To God be the glory. To God be the glory.
To God be the glory for the things He has done.
With His blood, He has saved me.
By His power, He has raised me.
To God be the glory for the things He has done.
Just let me live my life, and let it be pleasing, Lord, to Thee.
And should I gain any praise, let it go to Calvary.
With His blood, He has saved me.
By His power, He has raised me.
To God be the glory for the things He has done.
One lesson I learned recently is that I need to do less. I realize now that it will take several months for my body to go back to its pre-leukemia state. When my body and brain shouts "Enough!" after only 4-5 hours of work, this is normal - for now. So, taking the cue from my body and brain, I have cut back my expectations and my work hours. But this is so difficult! I am so used to pushing myself that pulling back is totally unnatural for me. It feels like awakening an unused muscle in my brain, if there is such a thing. Oh well, this is good training for me in reducing stress.
This is my final blog entry. By the grace of God and through your prayers and support, we have come to the end of this journey with my healing and many blessings! It has truly been a wonderful adventure of the soul. There is no other way to experience certain truths except through trials - the PEACE that surpasses understanding, the JOY of being in God's presence in the midst of adversity, the amazing GRACE that is sufficient for all our trials, the power of PRAYER, the FAITH that heals the sick, and the LOVE of family and friends tested by time and trials. Looking back, I still think that I got more out of this trial than what it took out of me.
This experience was no walk in the park though. And since I believe in squeezing all I can learn out of a difficult situation, I would like to share some of the lessons I learned along the way. This way, I get to maximize the return on my painful "tuition fee". Here they are:
1) Priorities. Nothing clarifies our priorities better than seeing the end of one's life. As a Christian who was about to meet her Maker, the only thing I could think of was, "What will God say about me?" Everything that seemed important in life faded into the shadow of His majesty. At that point, I wished that I had done more for the Lord. And if I was given a chance to live longer, I knew that I want to spend more time with my family and love them more than I do. Be clear on one's priorities in life and live accordingly.
2) Prayer. Make the most of the amazing power of prayer. In addition to praying for ourselves, praying for others can change another person's circumstances. I am living proof of the power of intercessory prayers. Unleash the power of prayer for ourselves and others.
3) Blessings. I did not know that having Leukemia was a means to channel many blessings to me and my family. Many blessings come in ugly packages.
4) Planning for the future. I realized the I have spent too much time planning for retirement and too little time thinking about post-retirement. Ironically, I may not even live long enough to enjoy the retirement I was planning for, but I will definitely get into post-retirement mode sooner or later.
5) Investments. In terms of investing for the future, I realized that my best investments all these years have been whatever was given to the church or people in need. Their value never goes down and they more than double their value immediately. The value multiplies in terms of blessing the recipient and the giver, and they are credited to our bank account in heaven. Nothing can beat that kind of return.
6) Good health. In the fast food lifestyle that many of us have been accustomed to, I realized that I have often exchanged good health for convenience. In the long run, we may end up giving back all the time we saved by lying in some hospital bed somewhere or worse, with a shortened lifespan. I know better now.
7) Good health and cancer. Even though a healthy lifestyle does not guarantee a cancer-free life, it does make one better equipped to deal with the treatment(s). My doctors were relieved to know that I was in good health before I was diagnosed with Leukemia. It must have made their job less difficult.
8) Health Insurance. For those of us living in the US, having a good health insurance is so important. With the high cost of health care, we never know what could happen to our health that may wipe out our savings. So, be prepared.
9) Family. Our family is a gift from God. No matter what type of family one has, our family has helped shape us into who we are. They have been there for us through good times and bad. Once again, I am reminded of how blessed I am with my family. Remember to thank God for our family.
10) Friendship. Friendship is also a gift from God. We never truly realize our friends' value until we're "hit by a truck". I was amazed at how many of my friends have turned out to be such gems. My spirits have been lifted so much by the outpouring of love and support. Even friends I have not been in touch with in ages suddenly showed up with words of encouragement, prayers, and food (they know me well. ha! ha!). I really felt like I won the lottery. Remember to thank God for our friends.
11) Kindness. I realized that even small gestures of kindness mean a lot to people who are going through tough times.
12) Faith. This experience has deepened my faith in our loving God. Once again, I am reminded that even if His ways do not make sense to me, He loves me more than I can understand and He is in control. Trusting that He is doing whatever is best for me according to His purpose, and that all things will work out for good has helped me rest in His care. Faith has made a big difference in my battle with cancer - no tears of sadness but only tears of joy. To His glory!
My hope is that you get to experience the love of God through the saving grace in Jesus, the joy of being in God's presence, and the peace that comes from casting our cares upon Him and trusting that He will take care of us.
My family and I would like to extend our deepest gratitude to all of you who have come alongside us during these challenging months. Your prayers have been answered. Your food have been gratefully consumed (yum!). Your phone calls and emails have lifted my spirits. Your visits have brightened up my days. Your jokes, funny books and dvds were the best medicine. Your inspirational cds and books have comforted and inspired me. Your advice were appreciated. Your practical books saved me thousands of dollars. But most of all, your love and friendship will always be treasured in our hearts. I hope to see you all one day and thank you personally for contributing to my healing, and for making this adventure as spiritually enjoyable as it had been. May God continue to bless you and your family!
Let me close with one of my favorite hymns. (You're so lucky you cannot hear me sing this. :-)
My Tribute / To God be the Glory
How can I say thanks for the things You have done for me?
Things so undeserved, yet You give to prove your love for me.
The voices of a million angels, could not express my gratitude.
All that I am, or ever hope to be, I owe it all to Thee.
To God be the glory. To God be the glory.
To God be the glory for the things He has done.
With His blood, He has saved me.
By His power, He has raised me.
To God be the glory for the things He has done.
Just let me live my life, and let it be pleasing, Lord, to Thee.
And should I gain any praise, let it go to Calvary.
With His blood, He has saved me.
By His power, He has raised me.
To God be the glory for the things He has done.
Monday, May 17, 2010
5/18/2010 - Hallelujah!
Hallelujah! Our God is an awesome God! I got the biopsy results last Wednesday - it was clean! I expected to have only good news, but it was still a relief to hear the official word from the doctor. It is finally over.
The doctor gave me a work release order, meaning I am allowed to go back to work. From here on, I will just have to see my doctor every month for the first 6 months, then it will taper off to once every 6 months, and then just an annual check-up.
When I was walking back to my car, I had to fight back tears of joy, relief and gratitude. The last nine months have been challenging, but full of grace and mercy from our God. This was undoubtedly the result of the power of prayer - lots of prayer! Prayers from my loving family, relatives, friends, people I met at hospitals, and people I don't know personally in different churches, prayer groups and small groups.
This is also a testimony of how great it is to be in the family of God. The family spans nations, cultures and denominations, all brought together through the precious blood of our Lord Jesus Christ. I can just imagine what it will be like when we all get to heaven - people of all nations worshiping the one true God. The best party ever!
God answers prayers. Your prayers have made a big difference in how my family and I experienced the long road to recovery. These are just some of the many answered prayers we have witnessed:
- My cancer was in remission only after one round of chemo. Many people have to wait several months and even longer to get into remission.
- I did not undergo many of the most common side effects from chemotherapy: nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite and various infections. Even my mouth sore was very mild compare to what other people had to go through.
- During the flu season, when many people were catching the cold, flu and H1N1 virus, our family was spared from all of it except for Ellie who had a mild case of cold that lasted only a few days.
- There were many days when I felt too weak to prepare anything for dinner, and someone would either call to bring us dinner or just show up at our front door with food. The timing was just perfect. Many thanks to Cristina, Bessie, Alvina, Nora, Marlene, Jean/Williamson and Sandy.
- The catheter on my chest was inserted without any problems, and it remained free from infection throughout the nine months! This is quite unusual.
- Our family had remained happy and positive throughout these nine months. Robert was solid as a rock. The children also remained happy even if they understood the seriousness of my illness. There were some disappointments along the way, but we believe all things will work out for the best. Even during challenging times, we were always grateful for the many blessings we experienced everyday.
I have been busy getting ready to go back to work - coordinating with the head office and my assistant, attending continuing education classes to re-activate my license, etc. I just received a call from the head office to let me know that my office has been re-registered and I can go back to work tomorrow. Yikes! I don't think I am quite ready to go back to work yet. Well, at least, my hair is now presentable to clients - vanity!
I know what many of you are thinking. Yes, I will try to take it easy. Although I am officially in remission, I am still recovering from the onslaught of toxic chemicals in my body. Chemotherapy is really brutal. I can still feel the effects every now and then. I can't wait to get back to being in good health. Please continue to pray for my family as we transition to our new reality, that I will be restored to good health, and for me not to strain myself - it is my personal weakness/bad habit.
That's it for now. I will share the lessons I learned in a few days. It is my hope others will benefit from my experience. Thank you once again for your prayers and may God bless you all.
The doctor gave me a work release order, meaning I am allowed to go back to work. From here on, I will just have to see my doctor every month for the first 6 months, then it will taper off to once every 6 months, and then just an annual check-up.
When I was walking back to my car, I had to fight back tears of joy, relief and gratitude. The last nine months have been challenging, but full of grace and mercy from our God. This was undoubtedly the result of the power of prayer - lots of prayer! Prayers from my loving family, relatives, friends, people I met at hospitals, and people I don't know personally in different churches, prayer groups and small groups.
This is also a testimony of how great it is to be in the family of God. The family spans nations, cultures and denominations, all brought together through the precious blood of our Lord Jesus Christ. I can just imagine what it will be like when we all get to heaven - people of all nations worshiping the one true God. The best party ever!
God answers prayers. Your prayers have made a big difference in how my family and I experienced the long road to recovery. These are just some of the many answered prayers we have witnessed:
- My cancer was in remission only after one round of chemo. Many people have to wait several months and even longer to get into remission.
- I did not undergo many of the most common side effects from chemotherapy: nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite and various infections. Even my mouth sore was very mild compare to what other people had to go through.
- During the flu season, when many people were catching the cold, flu and H1N1 virus, our family was spared from all of it except for Ellie who had a mild case of cold that lasted only a few days.
- There were many days when I felt too weak to prepare anything for dinner, and someone would either call to bring us dinner or just show up at our front door with food. The timing was just perfect. Many thanks to Cristina, Bessie, Alvina, Nora, Marlene, Jean/Williamson and Sandy.
- The catheter on my chest was inserted without any problems, and it remained free from infection throughout the nine months! This is quite unusual.
- Our family had remained happy and positive throughout these nine months. Robert was solid as a rock. The children also remained happy even if they understood the seriousness of my illness. There were some disappointments along the way, but we believe all things will work out for the best. Even during challenging times, we were always grateful for the many blessings we experienced everyday.
I have been busy getting ready to go back to work - coordinating with the head office and my assistant, attending continuing education classes to re-activate my license, etc. I just received a call from the head office to let me know that my office has been re-registered and I can go back to work tomorrow. Yikes! I don't think I am quite ready to go back to work yet. Well, at least, my hair is now presentable to clients - vanity!
I know what many of you are thinking. Yes, I will try to take it easy. Although I am officially in remission, I am still recovering from the onslaught of toxic chemicals in my body. Chemotherapy is really brutal. I can still feel the effects every now and then. I can't wait to get back to being in good health. Please continue to pray for my family as we transition to our new reality, that I will be restored to good health, and for me not to strain myself - it is my personal weakness/bad habit.
That's it for now. I will share the lessons I learned in a few days. It is my hope others will benefit from my experience. Thank you once again for your prayers and may God bless you all.
Friday, April 30, 2010
4/30/2010 - Inital Biopsy Results
I can't believe it has been a month since my last update! Sorry for the long silence. After our vacation, I got distracted by tax preparation and other stuff - some important, some not so important :-(
We had a wonderful time in Carlasbad and San Diego. The kids enjoyed visiting Legoland and getting their "driver's license" again - their favorite activity there. Other memorable experiences include: having a close-up look at a cheetah's face at the Wild Animal park - they actually look beautiful, feeding lorikeets at the San Diego Zoo - the kids had a blast, touching sea creatures at the Birch Aquarium, observing seals sunbathing in La Jolla - those lazy bums look so cute!, strolling at the Flower Fields in Carlsbad - acres of beautiful flowers!, playing in the Science Museum - wish learning was this much fun when I was a kid, watching model trains go in the Railroad Museum, and last but not least, relaxing by the beach. It was all very nice. We even discovered a couple of good restaurants - yum!
We celebrated Easter in Carlsbad. It was another time to reflect on the great price that was paid for our salvation. This Easter was more significant for me, because I felt like I have been redeemed, not just once, but twice! The blood of Christ that washed away my sins also washed away the cancer cells in my body. Praise God!
The initial results of the biopsy came out normal! Yay! Thank God and thank you for your prayers. Now we just have to wait for the final results. We will know about it in the next 2 weeks. The technicians have to culture the cells to find out if they will mutate to bad cells. The doctor is optimistic that it will come out normal as well, but does not want me to go back to work until the results are back. I'm not complaining.
It will be so nice to get back to normal, though. No more trips to the hospital at least once a week! No more blood draws and port dressing changes! I can't wait to get the ports out of my chest. My skin is getting rashes from the adhesive used to protect it. They already used the mildest form of adhesive available, so all I can do is try not to scratch too hard. The doctor has prescribed a cream I can apply. I'll be picking it up later. Despite the discomfort, I am thankful that it has remained uninfected all these months. I have heard bad stories about infections, even if the patient has been careful. Another answered prayer - thank God and thank you.
At this point, my family is getting ready to embark on the next leg of our journey. We can see this adventure ending in a few weeks, and a new adventure unfolding in the future. We do not know what it will be like, but we have learned to just let go and follow God's leading. Having Leukemia was no laughing matter, but we had many good laughs along the way. Our family has grown much closer, and the kids really enjoyed having me around the house. We are all a little sad that I will be going back to work, because it means I will be spending less time with the family. On the other hand, we are also looking forward to the new adventures ahead, including where to go and what to do during the summer break. Life goes on. I hope the lessons we learned during this period will not go to waste. I will share these lessons with you in a future blog.
Please continue to pray that the test results will come out normal, and that my body will be able to get rid of all the toxins and recover fully from the chemo treatments. Please also pray that we will be able to adjust well to the new reality when I go back to work. Thank you all very much for your concern and prayers. May God continue to bless you and your family.
We had a wonderful time in Carlasbad and San Diego. The kids enjoyed visiting Legoland and getting their "driver's license" again - their favorite activity there. Other memorable experiences include: having a close-up look at a cheetah's face at the Wild Animal park - they actually look beautiful, feeding lorikeets at the San Diego Zoo - the kids had a blast, touching sea creatures at the Birch Aquarium, observing seals sunbathing in La Jolla - those lazy bums look so cute!, strolling at the Flower Fields in Carlsbad - acres of beautiful flowers!, playing in the Science Museum - wish learning was this much fun when I was a kid, watching model trains go in the Railroad Museum, and last but not least, relaxing by the beach. It was all very nice. We even discovered a couple of good restaurants - yum!
We celebrated Easter in Carlsbad. It was another time to reflect on the great price that was paid for our salvation. This Easter was more significant for me, because I felt like I have been redeemed, not just once, but twice! The blood of Christ that washed away my sins also washed away the cancer cells in my body. Praise God!
The initial results of the biopsy came out normal! Yay! Thank God and thank you for your prayers. Now we just have to wait for the final results. We will know about it in the next 2 weeks. The technicians have to culture the cells to find out if they will mutate to bad cells. The doctor is optimistic that it will come out normal as well, but does not want me to go back to work until the results are back. I'm not complaining.
It will be so nice to get back to normal, though. No more trips to the hospital at least once a week! No more blood draws and port dressing changes! I can't wait to get the ports out of my chest. My skin is getting rashes from the adhesive used to protect it. They already used the mildest form of adhesive available, so all I can do is try not to scratch too hard. The doctor has prescribed a cream I can apply. I'll be picking it up later. Despite the discomfort, I am thankful that it has remained uninfected all these months. I have heard bad stories about infections, even if the patient has been careful. Another answered prayer - thank God and thank you.
At this point, my family is getting ready to embark on the next leg of our journey. We can see this adventure ending in a few weeks, and a new adventure unfolding in the future. We do not know what it will be like, but we have learned to just let go and follow God's leading. Having Leukemia was no laughing matter, but we had many good laughs along the way. Our family has grown much closer, and the kids really enjoyed having me around the house. We are all a little sad that I will be going back to work, because it means I will be spending less time with the family. On the other hand, we are also looking forward to the new adventures ahead, including where to go and what to do during the summer break. Life goes on. I hope the lessons we learned during this period will not go to waste. I will share these lessons with you in a future blog.
Please continue to pray that the test results will come out normal, and that my body will be able to get rid of all the toxins and recover fully from the chemo treatments. Please also pray that we will be able to adjust well to the new reality when I go back to work. Thank you all very much for your concern and prayers. May God continue to bless you and your family.
Monday, March 29, 2010
3/29/2010 - Good-bye, Neutropenia!
Seven months is a long time to spend in Neutropenia. Even with all the adventure and interesting surprises, I am ready to say farewell. Where is this? It is a beautiful place overlooking the Baltic Sea, just off the coast of Lithuania, Estonia and Latvia. This is where people walk around in masks and where Count Dracula probably got his hankering for blood. It is also the capital of Leukemia. :-)
Seriously, neutropenia is a medical condition in which the bone marrow is not able to produce enough neutrophils (a kind of white blood cell) to protect the body from infections. This is a common condition among leukemia patients and people undergoing chemotherapy. I will surely not miss being neutropenic. I no longer need to be super-paranoid about catching an infection. I have scurried around in supermarkets just to avoid people who sneezed or coughed, replaced hugs and kisses with air kisses when greeting friends, stopped eating some of my favorite foods, and even hid my true identity by wearing a mask all the time! I can now reveal my true identity. The mask can now come off. I can also stop being Wonderwoman - you know, wondering how much I can do each day before I get really tired. :-)
The last three blood tests have been progressively better. It shows that my body is definitely on the road to recovery. The neutrophil count and platelets are still low, but now within normal range. The white blood count and hemoglobin are close to being normal. This means I will not need platelet or blood transfusions anymore!
The doctor has reduced my check-ups from twice a week to once a week. She expects me to get back to normal in the coming weeks. I will have a bone marrow biopsy on April 23. If it comes out clean, that will be the final and official marker that I am truly in remission!
I expect the biopsy to come out clean, and that I will be allowed to go back to work in May. This means I barely have a month left to finish everything on my to-do list: taking care of medical billing errors (grrr!), following-up on insurance payments (ayayay!), preparing for our celebration in San Diego (yippee!), filing our taxes (ugh!), learning more about living a healthier lifestyle (yes!) and other minor things in keeping house that sometimes drive us up the wall.
The doctors still recommend that I have a bone marrow transplant, but they also understand why I would choose not to do it. After much reflection and prayer about it, Robert and I have decided that having a bone marrow transplant is not for me. I do not have peace about having a BMT. It does not seem like a worthy trade-off, especially if I will not have a relapse. As one of my friends who is a doctor said, having a transplant is like replacing one sickness for another. If I will not have a relapse in the future, wouldn't a BMT just give me a sickness where none existed?
We have prayed that if I truly need a BMT, that a perfect match be found, especially from one of my siblings. No perfect match has been found so far. We have also prayed for the Lord to take away my leukemia cells now and forever. On more than one occasion when I was praying, I have this peace that He has granted my request. Now, what I need is the faith to believe and proceed accordingly. It may not be what the doctor recommended, but I believe this is another one of those instances where faith will overcome the odds. There have been other times in my life when God has asked me to take the path with the odds stacked against me. They did not sound logical to me at the time, but disobedience was not an option. Each time, God has not let me down, but has shown me how great and faithful He is. I have been blessed to witness many of His miracles in the past and also through this journey. Our God is greater than any sickness or statistics! I have not told the BMT doctor about our final decision yet, but it should not come as a surprise to her.
My hair is growing back! I no longer need to cover my head when I go out. Perfect timing, since the weather in Southern CA is starting to warm up. It still looks a little funny, but we are all getting used to it. I used to look like a troll after a shower. My hair would all stand up, and I would have to apply some oil for it to come down. Remember how babies' hair would stand up after giving them a bath? Cute, no? Yes, them, not me. :-( There was also a time when I would look at the mirror and be reminded of the Supreme Leader of North Korea, Kim Jung Il. Yes, his hair was ugly, and so was mine. Hats to the rescue! My hair is slightly curly now. It naturally flips out, so I look kinda sassy with my short hair. I still make it a point to wear big earrings so nobody will mistake me for a butch.
Well, that is all the update for now. Sorry for not updating my blog more often. I am still fighting an uphill battle with my to-do list, and I do get lazy sometimes. Then, when the kids come home, it is all about them - snacks, homework, dinner prep, dinner, bathtime, then bedtime. Thank God I now have the energy for all that. My life is getting back to normal. Yay!
Thank you all very much for all your prayers and may God bless you and your family!
Seriously, neutropenia is a medical condition in which the bone marrow is not able to produce enough neutrophils (a kind of white blood cell) to protect the body from infections. This is a common condition among leukemia patients and people undergoing chemotherapy. I will surely not miss being neutropenic. I no longer need to be super-paranoid about catching an infection. I have scurried around in supermarkets just to avoid people who sneezed or coughed, replaced hugs and kisses with air kisses when greeting friends, stopped eating some of my favorite foods, and even hid my true identity by wearing a mask all the time! I can now reveal my true identity. The mask can now come off. I can also stop being Wonderwoman - you know, wondering how much I can do each day before I get really tired. :-)
The last three blood tests have been progressively better. It shows that my body is definitely on the road to recovery. The neutrophil count and platelets are still low, but now within normal range. The white blood count and hemoglobin are close to being normal. This means I will not need platelet or blood transfusions anymore!
The doctor has reduced my check-ups from twice a week to once a week. She expects me to get back to normal in the coming weeks. I will have a bone marrow biopsy on April 23. If it comes out clean, that will be the final and official marker that I am truly in remission!
I expect the biopsy to come out clean, and that I will be allowed to go back to work in May. This means I barely have a month left to finish everything on my to-do list: taking care of medical billing errors (grrr!), following-up on insurance payments (ayayay!), preparing for our celebration in San Diego (yippee!), filing our taxes (ugh!), learning more about living a healthier lifestyle (yes!) and other minor things in keeping house that sometimes drive us up the wall.
The doctors still recommend that I have a bone marrow transplant, but they also understand why I would choose not to do it. After much reflection and prayer about it, Robert and I have decided that having a bone marrow transplant is not for me. I do not have peace about having a BMT. It does not seem like a worthy trade-off, especially if I will not have a relapse. As one of my friends who is a doctor said, having a transplant is like replacing one sickness for another. If I will not have a relapse in the future, wouldn't a BMT just give me a sickness where none existed?
We have prayed that if I truly need a BMT, that a perfect match be found, especially from one of my siblings. No perfect match has been found so far. We have also prayed for the Lord to take away my leukemia cells now and forever. On more than one occasion when I was praying, I have this peace that He has granted my request. Now, what I need is the faith to believe and proceed accordingly. It may not be what the doctor recommended, but I believe this is another one of those instances where faith will overcome the odds. There have been other times in my life when God has asked me to take the path with the odds stacked against me. They did not sound logical to me at the time, but disobedience was not an option. Each time, God has not let me down, but has shown me how great and faithful He is. I have been blessed to witness many of His miracles in the past and also through this journey. Our God is greater than any sickness or statistics! I have not told the BMT doctor about our final decision yet, but it should not come as a surprise to her.
My hair is growing back! I no longer need to cover my head when I go out. Perfect timing, since the weather in Southern CA is starting to warm up. It still looks a little funny, but we are all getting used to it. I used to look like a troll after a shower. My hair would all stand up, and I would have to apply some oil for it to come down. Remember how babies' hair would stand up after giving them a bath? Cute, no? Yes, them, not me. :-( There was also a time when I would look at the mirror and be reminded of the Supreme Leader of North Korea, Kim Jung Il. Yes, his hair was ugly, and so was mine. Hats to the rescue! My hair is slightly curly now. It naturally flips out, so I look kinda sassy with my short hair. I still make it a point to wear big earrings so nobody will mistake me for a butch.
Well, that is all the update for now. Sorry for not updating my blog more often. I am still fighting an uphill battle with my to-do list, and I do get lazy sometimes. Then, when the kids come home, it is all about them - snacks, homework, dinner prep, dinner, bathtime, then bedtime. Thank God I now have the energy for all that. My life is getting back to normal. Yay!
Thank you all very much for all your prayers and may God bless you and your family!
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
3/17/2010 - Almost over
The last 2 blood tests showed that my body is recovering from the last chemotherapy. As expected, my blood count got worse and the body got weaker for a couple of weeks after the chemo. Last week was when it started to show signs of moving up. I had another blood transfusion on Friday. Hopefully, it will be the last one. I am still neutropenic, but that is also improving.
The doctor is going to schedule another bone marrow biopsy to see if there are any leukemia cells left. If she finds any, I will have no choice but undergo a bone marrow transplant. If the biopsy comes out clean, then I will be done! My prayer is that the biopsy will come out clean. I have been praying a lot about the biopsy, and I think I do not need to go through it anymore. There is no perfect match found, and I just have this feeling that God has cured me already. Thanks to all your prayers, the journey is almost over!
This calls for a celebration! Before diving back into life as we know it, I am spending time planning our upcoming celebrations. Our family is not much into parties, but my kids and I love to travel. Rob is less enthusiastic about it. Katie says she got her travel bug from me - so true! After going through a near death experience, I realized that I have subconsciously been coming up with my bucket list - mostly of places I would still like to visit and things to do before I go to the ultimate place for the ultimate vacation!
We're keeping it local for this year. The doctor already gave me the okay to go to San Diego with the kids for their spring break. We always enjoy our visits to San Diego. Katie wants to visit Legoland again and Ellie wants to bond with our relatives at the zoo and Wild Animal Park. :-) Of course, we'll also spend some time on the beach and try to catch some hermit crabs.
More health tips and discoveries:
1) Eat lots of fruits and vegetables to keep the body alkalized. Too much acidity in the body can lead to cancer. If you cannot eat the recommended 5-9 servings of fruits and vegetables a day, try having the green and red food powders. Some of them combine green and red, as well as mushrooms and probiotics - all good for us.
2) Try to reduce the amount of red meat. It usually has a high amount of saturated fat and it also adds to the acidity of the body.
3) I am getting rid of my microwave oven. I found out that most microwave ovens leak to some extent. With my condition, I do not need any more radiation in my body (radiation causes leukemia). In addition, cooking with microwave has been shown to reduce the nutritional content of the food more than other forms of cooking.
4) I am also getting rid of most of my teflon-coated pots and pans. Teflon, when heated to a high temperature, gives out a fume that is carcinogenic when inhaled. I have replaced them with stainless steel waterless and greaseless pans. I am pleasantly surprised to find out that they are not as expensive as they used to be. And thanks to the generosity of my sister, we got it as a gift - even better!
5) Cooking oils. I have been using Canola oil for a long time now, but since the jury is still out regarding its safety, I have been using mostly extra virgin olive oil and grapeseed oil for cooking. They have higher smoking point than canola oil. I also use peanut oil for deep frying because it has a higher smoking point. Smoking point is when the oil releases chemicals that are not good for the body.
Lastly, as we go through Lent, we are reminded of the sufferings of Jesus Christ. All our sufferings in this world pale in comparison to His suffering. God came in the form of man, which in itself is already a great suffering. On top of that, He endured all His earthly suffering without even one complaint! Only God can do that. Most of us cannot even tolerate some discomfort without whining about it - think about the hottest day of summer or the coldest day in winter - ah, the symphony of whining! No wonder it takes more than a lifetime for us to learn to be more like Christ!
That's all for now. Thank you again for all your prayers and may God continue to bless you and your family!
The doctor is going to schedule another bone marrow biopsy to see if there are any leukemia cells left. If she finds any, I will have no choice but undergo a bone marrow transplant. If the biopsy comes out clean, then I will be done! My prayer is that the biopsy will come out clean. I have been praying a lot about the biopsy, and I think I do not need to go through it anymore. There is no perfect match found, and I just have this feeling that God has cured me already. Thanks to all your prayers, the journey is almost over!
This calls for a celebration! Before diving back into life as we know it, I am spending time planning our upcoming celebrations. Our family is not much into parties, but my kids and I love to travel. Rob is less enthusiastic about it. Katie says she got her travel bug from me - so true! After going through a near death experience, I realized that I have subconsciously been coming up with my bucket list - mostly of places I would still like to visit and things to do before I go to the ultimate place for the ultimate vacation!
We're keeping it local for this year. The doctor already gave me the okay to go to San Diego with the kids for their spring break. We always enjoy our visits to San Diego. Katie wants to visit Legoland again and Ellie wants to bond with our relatives at the zoo and Wild Animal Park. :-) Of course, we'll also spend some time on the beach and try to catch some hermit crabs.
More health tips and discoveries:
1) Eat lots of fruits and vegetables to keep the body alkalized. Too much acidity in the body can lead to cancer. If you cannot eat the recommended 5-9 servings of fruits and vegetables a day, try having the green and red food powders. Some of them combine green and red, as well as mushrooms and probiotics - all good for us.
2) Try to reduce the amount of red meat. It usually has a high amount of saturated fat and it also adds to the acidity of the body.
3) I am getting rid of my microwave oven. I found out that most microwave ovens leak to some extent. With my condition, I do not need any more radiation in my body (radiation causes leukemia). In addition, cooking with microwave has been shown to reduce the nutritional content of the food more than other forms of cooking.
4) I am also getting rid of most of my teflon-coated pots and pans. Teflon, when heated to a high temperature, gives out a fume that is carcinogenic when inhaled. I have replaced them with stainless steel waterless and greaseless pans. I am pleasantly surprised to find out that they are not as expensive as they used to be. And thanks to the generosity of my sister, we got it as a gift - even better!
5) Cooking oils. I have been using Canola oil for a long time now, but since the jury is still out regarding its safety, I have been using mostly extra virgin olive oil and grapeseed oil for cooking. They have higher smoking point than canola oil. I also use peanut oil for deep frying because it has a higher smoking point. Smoking point is when the oil releases chemicals that are not good for the body.
Lastly, as we go through Lent, we are reminded of the sufferings of Jesus Christ. All our sufferings in this world pale in comparison to His suffering. God came in the form of man, which in itself is already a great suffering. On top of that, He endured all His earthly suffering without even one complaint! Only God can do that. Most of us cannot even tolerate some discomfort without whining about it - think about the hottest day of summer or the coldest day in winter - ah, the symphony of whining! No wonder it takes more than a lifetime for us to learn to be more like Christ!
That's all for now. Thank you again for all your prayers and may God continue to bless you and your family!
Monday, February 22, 2010
2/22/2010 - Home!
Thanks to your prayers the rest of the chemo was uneventful. I was given a pint of blood and discharged Sunday afternoon, as expected. My body will continue to get weaker over the next couple of weeks (this is normal). I will most likely get blood and platelet transfusions every week, and I will be susceptible to infections. After my body hits bottom, my bone marrow will slowly produce the blood that is needed, and things should get back to normal over the next few weeks. Yay! We're getting to the end of the journey!
The flu season is still underway, so please pray that my family will be protected from the flu and H1N1 virus, and that I will be protected from any form of infection. My family and I truly appreciate your prayers.
Two of my dear sisters came over from Manila and Toronto to visit me for a couple of days. It is such a nice treat! As usual, my girls were showered with many toys and gifts. They had so much fun they nearly forgot all about homework! I can understand how difficult it is to resist such enjoyable distractions. Katie said they were in "toy heaven". :-)
It is my past my bedtime, so I will keep this short tonight. Just wanted to let everyone know that I am out of the hospital and doing fine. I will most likely not be able to update my blog until a few days later. I would like to spend as much time as I can with my sisters, then take care of stuff that has accumulated while I was in the hospital in addition to things I had already put off.
Thank you for your prayers and may God bless you and your family!
The flu season is still underway, so please pray that my family will be protected from the flu and H1N1 virus, and that I will be protected from any form of infection. My family and I truly appreciate your prayers.
Two of my dear sisters came over from Manila and Toronto to visit me for a couple of days. It is such a nice treat! As usual, my girls were showered with many toys and gifts. They had so much fun they nearly forgot all about homework! I can understand how difficult it is to resist such enjoyable distractions. Katie said they were in "toy heaven". :-)
It is my past my bedtime, so I will keep this short tonight. Just wanted to let everyone know that I am out of the hospital and doing fine. I will most likely not be able to update my blog until a few days later. I would like to spend as much time as I can with my sisters, then take care of stuff that has accumulated while I was in the hospital in addition to things I had already put off.
Thank you for your prayers and may God bless you and your family!
Thursday, February 18, 2010
2/18/2010 - Round 5, Day 2
The anti-nausea drugs I was given knocked me out during the chemotherapy. I slept very well through both doses of the chemo. It was uneventful so far. My next round of chemo will start in a couple of hours. Hopefully, it will be as uneventful as the previous round of chemo.
I made a mistake in my blog a few weeks ago when I said my BMT doctor was having second thoughts about giving me a BMT. I was so happy to hear the good news that I didn't bother to ask why. When I did, it turns our it was just a miscommunication. When the doctor said she was having second thoughts about the "bone marrow", she meant "bone marrow biopsy", but I took it to mean "bone marrow transplant". Aw, shucks! She had wanted to give me a biopsy before my next round of chemo, but decided not to because I seem to be doing very well. As you know from my last blog, the doctor actually wanted me to have a BMT even without a perfect match. I still don't think it is the right thing to so at this point.
Another installment on my healthcare tips:
- Stress is a killer! Excessive and chronic stress can cause cancer, heart disease and a host of other diseases. No surprise there, right? What I didn't know was that when we are stressed, it suppresses our immune system. Ever wonder why we get sick more easily when we're stressed?
- Exercise. Yes, I don't like it either, but exercise is a stress buster and it allows us to get rid of toxins through perspiration. Oh, no! I hate sweating! I used to only exercise in an air-conditioned room, and if it was not cold enough, I would even turn on a fan just so I won't get sweaty. I guess I better get used to getting sweaty - yuck! For those who have exercised long enough to like doing it, more power to you! To the rest of us lazy bones, it's never too late to start.
- Prayer and meditation does wonders for stress management. Letting go and letting God take care of all our cares, meditating on His word, coming to His presence and basking in His love, and learning to manage our thoughts gets rid of stress like no medicine can. Wish it was that easy, right?
- Here are some verses that may help:
Philippians 4:8 says "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things."
Psalm 55:22 says "Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall."
1 Peter 5:7 says "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."
The Bible is chockful of prescriptions for stress management and healthy living. Isn't it ironic that we will follow our doctors' prescriptions to a T, but ignore God's commenadments? Sometimes we act as if we are doing God a favor in following His commands. What I have realized is that God's commandments are not only there to take care of our spiritual health, but also our physical health and happiness. God wants to bless us more than we care to be blessed. We often ignore His commands and wonder why He doesn't bless us more. We forget to seek and follow His will for our lives and we wonder why bad things happen to us. Yet, we don't wonder why someone would jump off a building and die. God is a loving God, but He is also a just God. He is quick to forgive but He does not take away the consequences - think of David and Bathsheba, their son had to die.
Now, if we can just take God's prescriptions as seriously as we take our doctors' prescriptions, our lives will be a lot less stressful and a lot happier and maybe even more prosperous.
That's it for tonight. I am starting to feel the effect of the pre-medication. My mind is slowly shutting down. I will be in dreamland in 5 minutes.
Thank you for your continued prayers and may God bless you and your family.
I made a mistake in my blog a few weeks ago when I said my BMT doctor was having second thoughts about giving me a BMT. I was so happy to hear the good news that I didn't bother to ask why. When I did, it turns our it was just a miscommunication. When the doctor said she was having second thoughts about the "bone marrow", she meant "bone marrow biopsy", but I took it to mean "bone marrow transplant". Aw, shucks! She had wanted to give me a biopsy before my next round of chemo, but decided not to because I seem to be doing very well. As you know from my last blog, the doctor actually wanted me to have a BMT even without a perfect match. I still don't think it is the right thing to so at this point.
Another installment on my healthcare tips:
- Stress is a killer! Excessive and chronic stress can cause cancer, heart disease and a host of other diseases. No surprise there, right? What I didn't know was that when we are stressed, it suppresses our immune system. Ever wonder why we get sick more easily when we're stressed?
- Exercise. Yes, I don't like it either, but exercise is a stress buster and it allows us to get rid of toxins through perspiration. Oh, no! I hate sweating! I used to only exercise in an air-conditioned room, and if it was not cold enough, I would even turn on a fan just so I won't get sweaty. I guess I better get used to getting sweaty - yuck! For those who have exercised long enough to like doing it, more power to you! To the rest of us lazy bones, it's never too late to start.
- Prayer and meditation does wonders for stress management. Letting go and letting God take care of all our cares, meditating on His word, coming to His presence and basking in His love, and learning to manage our thoughts gets rid of stress like no medicine can. Wish it was that easy, right?
- Here are some verses that may help:
Philippians 4:8 says "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things."
Psalm 55:22 says "Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall."
1 Peter 5:7 says "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."
The Bible is chockful of prescriptions for stress management and healthy living. Isn't it ironic that we will follow our doctors' prescriptions to a T, but ignore God's commenadments? Sometimes we act as if we are doing God a favor in following His commands. What I have realized is that God's commandments are not only there to take care of our spiritual health, but also our physical health and happiness. God wants to bless us more than we care to be blessed. We often ignore His commands and wonder why He doesn't bless us more. We forget to seek and follow His will for our lives and we wonder why bad things happen to us. Yet, we don't wonder why someone would jump off a building and die. God is a loving God, but He is also a just God. He is quick to forgive but He does not take away the consequences - think of David and Bathsheba, their son had to die.
Now, if we can just take God's prescriptions as seriously as we take our doctors' prescriptions, our lives will be a lot less stressful and a lot happier and maybe even more prosperous.
That's it for tonight. I am starting to feel the effect of the pre-medication. My mind is slowly shutting down. I will be in dreamland in 5 minutes.
Thank you for your continued prayers and may God bless you and your family.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
2/16/2010 - Round 5, Day 1 (Last Round!)
Belated happy Chinese New Year! May we all have a healthy, happy and prosperous year of the Tiger.
Belated Happy Valentine's day, too! It is very nice to have a day to celebrate the people we love. My husband and I went to our favorite Japanese restaurant. We have not been there since I got sick, so we both missed it quite a bit. Although I am no longer neutropenic, I didn't want to take the risk of getting bacteria, so I had to jealously watched my husband enjoy his delicious sashimi while I enjoy my cooked dishes - must be love! :-)
My blood count steadily went up since I last wrote. The blood test last Friday confirmed that my body is ready for the next round of chemo. However, the doctor suggested that I have a bone marrow transplant instead - yikes! The doctor had said that she will only do a BMT if there is a perfect match, but now she's thinks the 90+% match that we now have is good enough. I did not like this change in her position. Apparently, the chances of getting a perfect match is getting slim, because they have gone through the best possible matches from the national registry. I am still not convinced that I should go through a BMT, especially when there is no perfect match for me, so here I am having my last round of chemo.
I am so excited about getting to the end of this journey that I have been planning our family celebration once this whole thing is over. We will have a short family vacation when the kids go on spring break to celebrate my healing. I also wish I could get on a private jet and visit everyone who have supported us during this journey. It will be so nice to personally thank all of you. Besides, that will be a great reason to travel the world! Now, that will be a journey I would totally enjoy! Okay, time to wake up...
I also spent much time these days reading up on how I can reduce the chances of having a relapse and how to live a healthier lifestyle. So far, it has been quite interesting, and shocking sometimes. Some of the things I read I have heard countless times from my mother - "Drink more water", "Eat your vegetables", "Go to bed early", "Be kind to yourself (I tend to overwork)", etc. I am blessed to have a mother who is health conscious. My father died when we were still young, and the thought of leaving 7 orphans behind should anything happen to her motivated her to keep herself healthy. Now, I find myself in a similar position. The thought of leaving my 2 little girls without a mother is motivation enough for me to live a healthier lifestyle.
Here are some of the things I learned. Since I am no expert, and even experts argue among themselves, please take all these with a grain of salt.
- Sleep 7 to 9 hours of sleep a day. For those who have a hard time falling asleep, keep the room dark and use natural sleeping aids such as valerian (named after me - ha! ha!), 5-HTP or melatonin. The quality of sleep before midnight is better - I forgot why.
- Drink water. How much? Our weight divided by 2 is the number of ounces we need each day.
- Avoid partially homogenized vegetable/soybean oil. This is a stinker! I didn't know how much of the food we're eating has this ingredient. With my family history of heart disease, I have replaced butter with margarine and real cream cheese with soy-based cream cheese. I have deprived myself of the real thing only to find out the replacement is actually worse. Partially homogenized oils are bad for the heart and can cause cancer - a double whammy! So, I am going back to the real thing, but just limit the consumption.
Oops! Time for bed. I will continue sharing what I have learned in my future blogs. Please pray that my chemo treatment will be uneventful - no nausea, mouth sores or other complications. Please also pray that my family and I will be protected from the flu and cold viruses, and that we will stay positive and happy.
Thank you for your continued prayers and may God bless you and your family!
Belated Happy Valentine's day, too! It is very nice to have a day to celebrate the people we love. My husband and I went to our favorite Japanese restaurant. We have not been there since I got sick, so we both missed it quite a bit. Although I am no longer neutropenic, I didn't want to take the risk of getting bacteria, so I had to jealously watched my husband enjoy his delicious sashimi while I enjoy my cooked dishes - must be love! :-)
My blood count steadily went up since I last wrote. The blood test last Friday confirmed that my body is ready for the next round of chemo. However, the doctor suggested that I have a bone marrow transplant instead - yikes! The doctor had said that she will only do a BMT if there is a perfect match, but now she's thinks the 90+% match that we now have is good enough. I did not like this change in her position. Apparently, the chances of getting a perfect match is getting slim, because they have gone through the best possible matches from the national registry. I am still not convinced that I should go through a BMT, especially when there is no perfect match for me, so here I am having my last round of chemo.
I am so excited about getting to the end of this journey that I have been planning our family celebration once this whole thing is over. We will have a short family vacation when the kids go on spring break to celebrate my healing. I also wish I could get on a private jet and visit everyone who have supported us during this journey. It will be so nice to personally thank all of you. Besides, that will be a great reason to travel the world! Now, that will be a journey I would totally enjoy! Okay, time to wake up...
I also spent much time these days reading up on how I can reduce the chances of having a relapse and how to live a healthier lifestyle. So far, it has been quite interesting, and shocking sometimes. Some of the things I read I have heard countless times from my mother - "Drink more water", "Eat your vegetables", "Go to bed early", "Be kind to yourself (I tend to overwork)", etc. I am blessed to have a mother who is health conscious. My father died when we were still young, and the thought of leaving 7 orphans behind should anything happen to her motivated her to keep herself healthy. Now, I find myself in a similar position. The thought of leaving my 2 little girls without a mother is motivation enough for me to live a healthier lifestyle.
Here are some of the things I learned. Since I am no expert, and even experts argue among themselves, please take all these with a grain of salt.
- Sleep 7 to 9 hours of sleep a day. For those who have a hard time falling asleep, keep the room dark and use natural sleeping aids such as valerian (named after me - ha! ha!), 5-HTP or melatonin. The quality of sleep before midnight is better - I forgot why.
- Drink water. How much? Our weight divided by 2 is the number of ounces we need each day.
- Avoid partially homogenized vegetable/soybean oil. This is a stinker! I didn't know how much of the food we're eating has this ingredient. With my family history of heart disease, I have replaced butter with margarine and real cream cheese with soy-based cream cheese. I have deprived myself of the real thing only to find out the replacement is actually worse. Partially homogenized oils are bad for the heart and can cause cancer - a double whammy! So, I am going back to the real thing, but just limit the consumption.
Oops! Time for bed. I will continue sharing what I have learned in my future blogs. Please pray that my chemo treatment will be uneventful - no nausea, mouth sores or other complications. Please also pray that my family and I will be protected from the flu and cold viruses, and that we will stay positive and happy.
Thank you for your continued prayers and may God bless you and your family!
Sunday, January 31, 2010
1/31/2010 - Blood and Platelets
I didn't realize how long it has been since I last posted on the blog until I started getting messages and calls from friends who were wondering about my well-being. I am happy to report that things have been pretty normal and uneventful for me. I am sorry if I have caused you any unnecessary concern. I have been distracted by my ongoing research, and have just been enjoying the luxury of spending more time with my family.
After being discharged from the hospital, I continue to get platelet transfusions every week. I also had blood transfusion a couple of times. I had 2 bags of blood and a bag of platelet last Friday! As bad as it seems, this is normal. The discharge from chemo happened to coincide with my monthly period, so I needed more platelets to stop the bleeding, and more blood to replenish what was lost. Just bad timing.
The good news is...my white blood count has started to climb back up! It went all the way down to 0.4 last Monday (normal is 4 to 11), and my ANC went down to 0.0 (normal is 1.9 to 8.7), meaning I am as defenseless as a baby when it comes to infections. By Friday, my white blood count and ANC has climbed back up to 0.8 and 0.1. Still below normal, but it seems to be going back up. My hemoglobin went down only because of my bleeding. I usually reach nadir (medical term for the hitting the bottom after chemo) after three weeks. It has only been two and a half weeks after my chemo, so this is a good sign.
The better news is... my bone marrow transplant (BMT) doctor is beginning to reconsider her recommendation for a BMT! My bone marrow has consistently been able to produce more blood a few weeks after a round of chemo, even without getting shots to speed it up. I was so happy about the change of opinion that I forgot to ask why the doctor thinks it may be unnecessary to have the BMT! I just assumed that she is beginning to wonder if it is worth the risk. I should remember to ask her next time we meet.
The change of opinion is significant, because we have been praying for God's guidance regarding BMT. I have been getting more and more convinced that having a BMT will not be good for me based on my research and analysis, but the opinion of "Dr. Val" is not so reliable. The two best signs that God does not want me to have a BMT are that no donors will be found, and that we will get opposing recommendation(s) from doctor(s).
So far, there has been no perfect match found for me - score one point for "No BMT"! The latest opinion of my oncologist is that as a doctor, she still recommends BMT, but she would not know how she would decide if the same thing were to happen to her. Not a very strong case for BMT, I think. Two other doctors already think it may not be worth the risk to get a BMT. One was from a friend of my sister who is an oncologist, and another from my long-time friend who is an internist. If my BMT doctor changes her opinion, then it will be absolutely clear.
Thank you all for your prayers. I think our prayers are all being answered everyday - for my healing, my family's health and finding God's guidance regarding BMT. This round of chemo is once again relatively uneventful and it seems like the Lord is slowly leading us to His will regarding the BMT. My family and I continue to be happy, positive and relatively healthy. It is still the cold and flu season, but none of got the cod or flu, thanks to your prayers.
As I approach the end of this journey, I am busy preparing myself for the next leg of my life's journey. Many questions come to mind as I think of what my new reality will look like after the treatments. How will I choose to live my life after the treatments? What choices do I need to make? Right now, I am focusing on the issue of health. With a 60% chance of relapse looming over my head, I cannot leave the issue of health to chance. Doing so will be irresponsible. I am learning many things about living a healthier lifestyle, and will gladly share what I learn with you all in my next blog.
Thank you once again for your continued prayers and concern. May God continue to bless you and your family!
After being discharged from the hospital, I continue to get platelet transfusions every week. I also had blood transfusion a couple of times. I had 2 bags of blood and a bag of platelet last Friday! As bad as it seems, this is normal. The discharge from chemo happened to coincide with my monthly period, so I needed more platelets to stop the bleeding, and more blood to replenish what was lost. Just bad timing.
The good news is...my white blood count has started to climb back up! It went all the way down to 0.4 last Monday (normal is 4 to 11), and my ANC went down to 0.0 (normal is 1.9 to 8.7), meaning I am as defenseless as a baby when it comes to infections. By Friday, my white blood count and ANC has climbed back up to 0.8 and 0.1. Still below normal, but it seems to be going back up. My hemoglobin went down only because of my bleeding. I usually reach nadir (medical term for the hitting the bottom after chemo) after three weeks. It has only been two and a half weeks after my chemo, so this is a good sign.
The better news is... my bone marrow transplant (BMT) doctor is beginning to reconsider her recommendation for a BMT! My bone marrow has consistently been able to produce more blood a few weeks after a round of chemo, even without getting shots to speed it up. I was so happy about the change of opinion that I forgot to ask why the doctor thinks it may be unnecessary to have the BMT! I just assumed that she is beginning to wonder if it is worth the risk. I should remember to ask her next time we meet.
The change of opinion is significant, because we have been praying for God's guidance regarding BMT. I have been getting more and more convinced that having a BMT will not be good for me based on my research and analysis, but the opinion of "Dr. Val" is not so reliable. The two best signs that God does not want me to have a BMT are that no donors will be found, and that we will get opposing recommendation(s) from doctor(s).
So far, there has been no perfect match found for me - score one point for "No BMT"! The latest opinion of my oncologist is that as a doctor, she still recommends BMT, but she would not know how she would decide if the same thing were to happen to her. Not a very strong case for BMT, I think. Two other doctors already think it may not be worth the risk to get a BMT. One was from a friend of my sister who is an oncologist, and another from my long-time friend who is an internist. If my BMT doctor changes her opinion, then it will be absolutely clear.
Thank you all for your prayers. I think our prayers are all being answered everyday - for my healing, my family's health and finding God's guidance regarding BMT. This round of chemo is once again relatively uneventful and it seems like the Lord is slowly leading us to His will regarding the BMT. My family and I continue to be happy, positive and relatively healthy. It is still the cold and flu season, but none of got the cod or flu, thanks to your prayers.
As I approach the end of this journey, I am busy preparing myself for the next leg of my life's journey. Many questions come to mind as I think of what my new reality will look like after the treatments. How will I choose to live my life after the treatments? What choices do I need to make? Right now, I am focusing on the issue of health. With a 60% chance of relapse looming over my head, I cannot leave the issue of health to chance. Doing so will be irresponsible. I am learning many things about living a healthier lifestyle, and will gladly share what I learn with you all in my next blog.
Thank you once again for your continued prayers and concern. May God continue to bless you and your family!
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