This is just like those action/suspense movies that make you hold your breath during the final chase scene. And just as you finally give out a sigh because the villain's dead, a hand reaches out from behind... Aaahhh! That was exactly how I felt when I heard the bad news. It took me a couple of days to get over the shock and numbness that came with the news. The "screaming" in my head has stopped.
I went for a check-up last month. The doctor was suspicious when she saw my platelets slightly below normal. She said it may just mean I am about to have my period. I thought that was exactly what it was. But just to be sure, the doctor scheduled another test 2 weeks later. When I went back for the test, my white blood count was more than 10x above the normal range - really bad sign. More tests that day confirmed it. I had a relapse, so the doctor sent me back to the hospital for chemotherapy on the 24th. This time, they used 3 drugs and it lasted 5 days. I will be kept in the hospital until my blood count goes back to normal - that's about 4 weeks.
How did this happen? I don't know. Did my going back to work so soon affect it? The doctor said that if the cancer cells are intent on coming back, going back to work or not will not have much effect on it. I'm thinking I might have pushed it a bit by trying to pack too much in my half days at work - bad habit.
The doctor had previously warned me that a bone marrow transplant will be necessary if there is a relapse. I guess this is God's way of telling me that I do need a bone marrow transplant. I was afraid of all the complications that may come with it, but now I have no choice. Just like the last bout with Leukemia, our family is counting on the prayers of family and friends to carry us through the treatments. We are leaving everything in the loving hands of God and taking things one day at a time.
As bad as thing are, things could be a lot worse. I am thankful for blessings that come my way everyday. I was able to tolerate this round of chemo better than the induction round I had last year - no fever, chicken pox, mouth sores or inflammation. Yay! Once again, I did not throw up or lose my appetite. This definitely helps in the recovery and prepares me for the harsher treatments that come with having a transplant. My hair will fall out again, but it's not a big deal. Things could be a lot worse. My family also gets to visit me in my room - the best part of my days! I did not realize what a blessing it was to be able to see my family everyday until I met patients who live far from the hospital or who have to fly in from out of state for treatments. They do not get to see their family very much
Other blessing include getting a room with the mountain view! I saw beautiful fireworks from my window during the 4th of July celebration. I am also quite blessed to have physical, musical and recreational therapy available in the hospital. When my counts are okay, I get to join group exercise classes and play poker or do something else with other patients. When the counts are low, a therapist goes to my room to guide me with exercises. A music therapist gives me CDs of therapeutic music (ever heard of music accupuncture?), and schedules musicians to play music in my room. We had a choir singing patriotic songs outside my room the other day. What beautiful voices! I may even get to learn to play the harp or a few pieces on the keyboard while I'm here. That would be fun.
The biggest blessing of all is to have family and friends helping us during these difficult times through prayers, words of encouragement, and giving us a hand with some of our chores. Cristina, Marlene, Nini and Nora have been specially helpful in keeping my family well-fed while the chef is taking an extended vacation in the hospital.
Please pray for my healing, that the hospital will find a suitable donor for me, that I will not have any side effects from the chemo, and that my blood count will go back to normal soon. Also pray that my family and I will remain happy throughout this period, and that Rob and I will have the extra strength, courage and faith to face the challenges ahead.
Thank you very much for your prayers and may God continue to bless you and your family.
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