6/3/2010 - Au Revoir / Lessons Learned

Sorry for the long silence. I have gone back to work since last week, and have been mentally exhausted most days to write anything sensible.

One lesson I learned recently is that I need to do less. I realize now that it will take several months for my body to go back to its pre-leukemia state. When my body and brain shouts "Enough!" after only 4-5 hours of work, this is normal - for now. So, taking the cue from my body and brain, I have cut back my expectations and my work hours. But this is so difficult! I am so used to pushing myself that pulling back is totally unnatural for me. It feels like awakening an unused muscle in my brain, if there is such a thing. Oh well, this is good training for me in reducing stress.

This is my final blog entry. By the grace of God and through your prayers and support, we have come to the end of this journey with my healing and many blessings! It has truly been a wonderful adventure of the soul. There is no other way to experience certain truths except through trials - the PEACE that surpasses understanding, the JOY of being in God's presence in the midst of adversity, the amazing GRACE that is sufficient for all our trials, the power of PRAYER, the FAITH that heals the sick, and the LOVE of family and friends tested by time and trials. Looking back, I still think that I got more out of this trial than what it took out of me.

This experience was no walk in the park though. And since I believe in squeezing all I can learn out of a difficult situation, I would like to share some of the lessons I learned along the way. This way, I get to maximize the return on my painful "tuition fee". Here they are:

1) Priorities. Nothing clarifies our priorities better than seeing the end of one's life. As a Christian who was about to meet her Maker, the only thing I could think of was, "What will God say about me?" Everything that seemed important in life faded into the shadow of His majesty. At that point, I wished that I had done more for the Lord. And if I was given a chance to live longer, I knew that I want to spend more time with my family and love them more than I do. Be clear on one's priorities in life and live accordingly.

2) Prayer. Make the most of the amazing power of prayer. In addition to praying for ourselves, praying for others can change another person's circumstances. I am living proof of the power of intercessory prayers. Unleash the power of prayer for ourselves and others.

3) Blessings. I did not know that having Leukemia was a means to channel many blessings to me and my family. Many blessings come in ugly packages.

4) Planning for the future. I realized the I have spent too much time planning for retirement and too little time thinking about post-retirement. Ironically, I may not even live long enough to enjoy the retirement I was planning for, but I will definitely get into post-retirement mode sooner or later.

5) Investments. In terms of investing for the future, I realized that my best investments all these years have been whatever was given to the church or people in need. Their value never goes down and they more than double their value immediately. The value multiplies in terms of blessing the recipient and the giver, and they are credited to our bank account in heaven. Nothing can beat that kind of return.

6) Good health. In the fast food lifestyle that many of us have been accustomed to, I realized that I have often exchanged good health for convenience. In the long run, we may end up giving back all the time we saved by lying in some hospital bed somewhere or worse, with a shortened lifespan. I know better now.

7) Good health and cancer. Even though a healthy lifestyle does not guarantee a cancer-free life, it does make one better equipped to deal with the treatment(s). My doctors were relieved to know that I was in good health before I was diagnosed with Leukemia. It must have made their job less difficult.

8) Health Insurance. For those of us living in the US, having a good health insurance is so important. With the high cost of health care, we never know what could happen to our health that may wipe out our savings. So, be prepared.

9) Family. Our family is a gift from God. No matter what type of family one has, our family has helped shape us into who we are. They have been there for us through good times and bad. Once again, I am reminded of how blessed I am with my family. Remember to thank God for our family.

10) Friendship. Friendship is also a gift from God. We never truly realize our friends' value until we're "hit by a truck". I was amazed at how many of my friends have turned out to be such gems. My spirits have been lifted so much by the outpouring of love and support. Even friends I have not been in touch with in ages suddenly showed up with words of encouragement, prayers, and food (they know me well. ha! ha!). I really felt like I won the lottery. Remember to thank God for our friends.

11) Kindness. I realized that even small gestures of kindness mean a lot to people who are going through tough times.

12) Faith. This experience has deepened my faith in our loving God. Once again, I am reminded that even if His ways do not make sense to me, He loves me more than I can understand and He is in control. Trusting that He is doing whatever is best for me according to His purpose, and that all things will work out for good has helped me rest in His care. Faith has made a big difference in my battle with cancer - no tears of sadness but only tears of joy. To His glory!

My hope is that you get to experience the love of God through the saving grace in Jesus, the joy of being in God's presence, and the peace that comes from casting our cares upon Him and trusting that He will take care of us.

My family and I would like to extend our deepest gratitude to all of you who have come alongside us during these challenging months. Your prayers have been answered. Your food have been gratefully consumed (yum!). Your phone calls and emails have lifted my spirits. Your visits have brightened up my days. Your jokes, funny books and dvds were the best medicine. Your inspirational cds and books have comforted and inspired me. Your advice were appreciated. Your practical books saved me thousands of dollars. But most of all, your love and friendship will always be treasured in our hearts. I hope to see you all one day and thank you personally for contributing to my healing, and for making this adventure as spiritually enjoyable as it had been. May God continue to bless you and your family!

Let me close with one of my favorite hymns. (You're so lucky you cannot hear me sing this. :-)

My Tribute / To God be the Glory

How can I say thanks for the things You have done for me?
Things so undeserved, yet You give to prove your love for me.
The voices of a million angels, could not express my gratitude.
All that I am, or ever hope to be, I owe it all to Thee.

To God be the glory. To God be the glory.
To God be the glory for the things He has done.

With His blood, He has saved me.
By His power, He has raised me.
To God be the glory for the things He has done.

Just let me live my life, and let it be pleasing, Lord, to Thee.
And should I gain any praise, let it go to Calvary.

With His blood, He has saved me.
By His power, He has raised me.
To God be the glory for the things He has done.